Bills Cleverly Throw Entire Season for Draft Picks
Or Something Like That
By Ronnie Roscoe

Hello again my faithful followers, it is the master, Roscoe, here again to give the best sports information in the free world.  The Buffalo Bills sunk to new depths this past weekend, but rock bottom is still coming.  Three weeks still remain for Buffalo to prove just how bad they really are.  The players appear to be quitting on the coach, but in reality it was the coach who first quit on the players.

Mularkey was laughing and giggling like a little schoolgirl, when the Bills scored three first quarter touchdowns against Miami.  Later when he called for a pass on first and goal from the three-yard line, which resulted in an interception, Eric Moulds had enough.  Basically Mularkey quit coaching the game…he was trying to get JP another passing touchdown, he was trying to get some more giggles and smiles to show just how smart he is.  He wanted to laugh it up on the sidelines, but instead lost the game.

He quit coaching.  Bottom line is the team knew that was stupid, and Moulds as the teams elder statesman, had to send a message.  Basically, if the coach didn’t care about what was going on why should he?  Mularkey actually quit on the team, now the team is going to quit on him. 

This is not the first time that I have bashed Tom Donahoe, Mularkey and the Buffalo Bills.  Each week it seems as though the same thing is pointed out—the team is lacking talent, the coaching staff sucks, and upper management is in denial.  This week though the last remaining link to the Jim Kelly era had enough.  Hey, I am not saying Eric Moulds is an alter boy, far from it.  He has had his issues on and off the field, even before coming to Buffalo.  He thought it was his duty to speak out and he told the coaching staff where they could stick their football.  Of course, Moulds needed to be disciplined for doing this.  It is kind of like the teenager yelling at mom and dad, showing no respect for authority, but actually having a point.  The kid may be right, but mom and dad are the parents, so off to the bedroom you go.  The same applies with Moulds.  He knew he was right.  The rest of the team knows he is right.  Hell, the owner even seems to agree with him, but he still deserves some suspension, and he may serve more time, this remains to be seen.

Although nothing has been stated publicly, the Master has his sources around One Bills Drive and the popular opinion is that the players have had enough of Mularkey and his crazy play calling.  Unfortunately, this is not enough to get him fired.  Tom Clements the offensive coordinator is certainly gone, and possibly some other assistants (lets just hope the keep the special teams coach, the only bright spot on this entire team), but since Mularkey still has three years left on his current contract, the odds are he will stay at least one more year.  Ralph doesn’t like spending money on people who don’t work for him.  It is highly unlikely that Mularkey will improve next year, but it is possible to hire an offensive coordinator with head coaching experience, that could move up to the top spot in due time.  This leaves us with Donahoe.  Again Donahoe received an extension recently, but the Moulds fiasco, the poor play on the field, the success of Drew Bledsoe in Dallas where he has a real coach and a real offensive line—not to mention the fan apathy, have left Wilson with no choice.  I have been waiting a while to say this, “Pack your bags Tommy, the gig is up.”  You had a five-year run that gave Bills’ fan mediocre teams twice and three pitiful teams.  Nice work.  You admitted making a (colossal) mistake with the Gregg Williams hiring, well maybe Ralph will admit the same after letting you go.  Tommy’s right hand man Tom (don’t call me Teflon Tom II) Modrak is rumored to take over.  That likely won’t solve anything.  It will be a different dog with the same fleas.

The sad truth is the Bills are a joke. Wilson is old and senile, the GM calls fans jerks when they disagree with him, and the coach is more worried about tricks then wins.  There are always teams that you could laugh at because they were always inept.  The same teams year in and year out would finish in last place, lose games week after week and rarely make the playoffs.  They would always have a high pick in the draft and would always have first round bust after first round bust.  You could always look around the NFL and say, “well at least we don’t live in Cincinnati.”

Unfortunately that isn’t the case anymore.  If you thought Sunday versus New England was ugly, wait two weeks.  Christmas eve Buffalo goes to Cincinnati.  The only way Buffalo doesn’t lose by 30 points is if Cincy has already locked up the division and benches their starters.  Yes Cincinnati is going to kick the shit out of the Bills, and lock up a first round bye in the playoffs.  Those same Bengals that always sucked and always lost.

Marvin Lewis is the coach of the new-look Bengals.  Tommy interviewed him when deciding on Gregg Williams.  It wasn’t that Tommy didn’t choose Lewis; it was Lewis who said no to Tommy.  Lewis actually set the tone for the decade, by saying he didn’t want the Buffalo job.  He didn’t like what was going on in Buffalo.  His wife later admitted she didn’t even like what was going on—very smart lady.  They passed and waited a year and accepted Cincinnati position instead.  Someone thought the Bengals were a better organization than the Bills.  The Bills were woeful for most of the 80’s but did set a winning tone in the 90’s and a “refuse to lose” mentality.  Tommy has single handedly broke that spirit.  Now players and coaches want to go to Cincinnati not Buffalo.

The difference between the two organizations will never be more evident than the game on Christmas Eve.  But like the GEICO commercial, there is good news.  Cincy will be favored by ONLY two touchdowns, and will win by 30, so call your man and spread some cheer by letting the Bills pay for Christmas—and thank Tommy as the door hits his ass on the way out.