Stranger Danger
How I abandoned my principles and took over congress.
Allan Uthman
Arm or Leg?
John Stossel's Great Invisible Handjob.
Paul Jones
Spooks in the Machine
Rummy Zeroes in on the Internet.
Mike Whitney
Accidental Discharge
The Dangers of Playing Cowboy.
Stan Goff
This Much is True
The Impending Police State & Puppy Rearing.
Ian Murphy
F is for Fake
Payola Punks Flunk Science Reporting.
Kit Smith
From the Desk of Lucifer
A Compliant Letter from Hell.

The BEAST 7-Day News Forecast
Conservative Facial Hair Guide
Sponsored by the Iraqi Civil War Chess Set
Our Guide to Quasi-Legal Parking Frustrated? We're here to help.

The BEAST 50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2005
Our disturbingly popular annual list of the foulest among us, for a particularly objectionable year.

Laugh Riot
Protecting the World from Parody?
Allan Uthman
Xtreme Religion
A Faith-Based Initiative.
Ian Murphy
Deity Roundtable
The "Big 3" convene for a chat with us.
Paul Jones
Fundy Funnies
The only comics page for the pure of faith!
Color Me Tolerant
A BEAST Coloring Contest!
Please Don't Kill Me
A message from terrified Associate Editor Chris Riordan.
Reader Opinion
Punxutawney Phil: Enemy of Allah
'Special' Baptisms Lead to Several Drownings
I'm Feeling Monkey
What Google tells us monkeys. A. Monkey
Slaughter Sport
Cheney wasn't "hunting."
Kit Smith