BEAST PAGE 3 Imminent
Legal Bitchslap Victim
Unalloyed greed, methamphetamines, Den of Thieves, coffee enemas,
inferiority complexes, Tony Robbins, "The Office," inane
marketing neologisms, fad diets, fascism, cold calling, butt Xeroxes.
Shame, inoperable tumors, patents, human heartbeat/physical human
contact, individuation, gnarled fingers, protectionism, Going
Postal, Americans With Disabilities Act, boysenberries.
I got to be The BEAST PAGE 3 Imminent Legal Bitchslap Victim:
Research In Motion, my Canadian maker, acquired my technology
the old-fashioned way: stealing it from someone smarter. Now,
my case is grabbing headlines because careerist American drones
face infantilization in the likelihood of a court-ordered shutdown.
plans: Sitting at the bottom of my owner's briefcase, in my
specially contoured pocket, listening to him sob incoherently
and fully clothed in the bathtub. When he's confined to an asylum,
I'm hoping his wife might discover me one day; tape a picture
of his face to my darkened screen and adopt me as a sex surrogate.
I'd like to be remembered: As that thing blindly competitive
status junkies used just before cerebral chip implants.