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The
BEAST Page 3 Postponed Mushroom Cloud
How I got to be The BEAST PAGE 3 Postponed Mushroom Cloud: Well I was all set to go off on June 2nd, about 100 miles north of Vegas until the Winnemucca Indians starting being all wuss. “Oh nooo! Please don’t kick up 50 years of nuclear fallout in our faces. It will mess up our hair!” Can you believe that? So now, it’s all tied up in court and when I got the call to be the BEAST Page 3, I figured what the hell. It’s not like I got anything better going on. Future Plans: If American history has demonstrated anything at all, it’s that no one cares about the rights of Indians. That said, unless white people start taking offense, I’ll be devastating a large swath of Nevada desert in the not so distant future. Until then: X-Box and bong hits. How
I’d like to be remembered: As a WMD that really
helped spread freedom across the globe—by destroying a
decent sized chunk of it. |
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Name:
Divine Strake Turn-ons: Arid desert climes, busting bunkers,
Donald Rumsfeld, ammonium nitrate, fuel oil, kicking up radioactive
fallout, intimidating Islamic nations with underground nuclear
facilities and incomprehensible destruction. You know –
700-ton bomb stuff. Turn-offs: Native Americans, Mormons, anybody
down wind really, tree hugging hippies, of course the Iranians,
oh and Japs – I Hate them so much! Just in my blood, I
can’t help it.
