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Colin Powell

Last week, Artvoice publisher Jamie Moses sent a letter to General Colin Powell to “warn” him about the BEAST. Concerned that he may not have gotten a response, we decided to call up the Department of State in Washington (202-647-4000) on his behalf:


DOS:   Department of State.

BEAST:   This is Jamie Moses from Artvoice in Buffalo. I sent the Secretary of State a letter last week, and I wanted to know if he’d gotten a chance to respond to it.

DOS:   I’d have to give you the Public Affairs line…

BEAST:   They already told me that they can’t help me. I’m a little concerned. I sent him this letter about these people who write for the Nation, and are part of the ACLU, and he doesn’t seem to be taking it seriously, and I wanted to know when he could respond to it.

DOS:   Uh…Okay, is it dealing with overseas issues and countries, sir?

BEAST:   Well, not exactly, it’s dealing with my competitor in Buffalo. They’re a small new newspaper, they have a circulation of about 10,000, and I think it’s an urgent issue…

DOS:   (baffled) Are you calling the U.S. Department of State, or your state State Department?

BEAST:   The U.S. Department of State. Colin Powell.

DOS:   Well, he wouldn’t have anything to do with that, sir!

BEAST:   Why not?

DOS:   But that’s in your state!

BEAST:   But these people write for the Nation! They’re part of the ACLU!

DOS:   No, but we deal with overseas issues and countries!

BEAST:   Exactly!

DOS:   Uh… well, uh, Public Affairs will have to help you, sir.

BEAST:   (bitterly) Thanks.

DOS:   Yeah. Thank you.

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