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About: John Hugar


Posts by John Hugar:

David Bowie: Still Cooler Than You

March 13th, 2013 by

This album cover ain't half bad, once you get used to it.

When news of a new David Bowie album emerged in January, I was excited, but also a bit apprehensive. Sure, the idea of new music from one of the most vital, original, and enigmatic rock geniuses to ever walk the earth was enticing, but at the same time, the dude is 66. What if he doesn’t have it anymore, and his comeback effort proves to be the musical equivalent of Michael Jordan’s time with the Washington Wizards?

Thankfully, that’s not even close to being the case. The Next Day, Bowie’s 24th studio album, is brilliant from start to finish, and proves that despite being gone for far too long, Bowie still has a lot of creative juices in him. This is one of Bowie’s more diverse efforts, as he adeptly switches from genre to genre on each song. Lead single “Where Are We Now” is a soulful ballad, a bit reminiscent of his cover of “Wild Is The Wind” on Station to Station, but with more of the atmospheric quality that would mark the Berlin Trilogy era. Read More

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Community: An Imitation Of Community

February 22nd, 2013 by

At least it’s still better than Go On.

Last spring, a large section of the internet had a collective seizure when it was announced the NBC sitcom Community would be going forward without Dan Harmon, the super-duper-mega-genius who created it all. It seemed like sacrilege, since the show was Harmon’s baby from the beginning, and he had put so much of his blood, sweat, and tears into the project.

When it was announced that he would be replaced by David Guarascio and Moses Port, best known for their work on Happy Endings and Just Shoot Me (the latter is a fairly underrated show, for the record), all the diehard fans were all to eager to write the postmortem for Community without even seeing any of the new episodes. Well, after watching the first three episodes of the post-Harmon era, it’s my sad duty to report that those devoted ultra-fans actually had a point.

The show just isn’t the same. Read More

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I’m Running For Pope

February 13th, 2013 by

First funny Family Guy joke in three years. And it's not actually from Family Guy...

After 8 years on the job, Pope Benedict And The Jets XVI decided to call it quits this week, presumably because covering up child molestation is grueling, tiresome work. This, of course, means there is a vacancy at the Pope position, and since I’m three months away from graduating from college, and I could really use a job, I thought I’d throw my hat into the ring.

What’s that you say? Pope is too tough of a job for a 22-year-old, perpetually drunk college student? I beg to differ. This seems like the easiest job on the planet. All I have to do is not cover up thousands of pederasts and I’ll be better than either of the last two guys to do it. Piece of cake! Read More


Does It Matter That Pat Robertson Denounced Creationism?

December 3rd, 2012 by

Who took my false teeth?

In case you haven’t heard, in a recent episode of The 700 Club noted corpse Pat Robertson reluctantly admitted maybe that whole thing about the earth being only 6,000 years old is just kind of, y’know, maybe a complete load of shit.

Obviously, this was a bit of a shocker. Robertson has been the captain of the delusional nutjob team for decades now. Why the sudden change of heart? Is he so old that he’s just entered “who gives a fuck” mode? Whatever the case, it certainly threw a lot of people for a loop, but the question is: does this actually matter? Let’s take a look at the details and see if we can’t reach conclusion on this. Read More


13 Days To Go

October 24th, 2012 by

This shit is almost over with.

Obama and Romney hug it out, bitch.

Holy fuck shit am I sick of this election.

All of it, just all of it. The pointless debates, the endless pontificating by overpaid TV blowhards, the fact that Romney and Ryan can lie their fucking asses off, and no one in the media will call them on it, and if they do, they’ll write it off as no big deal, because apparently asking our politicians for accountability is like, sooooooo 1974…. Read More


Me Want Hockey

September 19th, 2012 by

With hockey season at risk, Canada threatens to release a new Simple Plan album.

Naturally, Tim Thomas blamed the lockout on Obama.

You know what’s been great about 2012? No ugly, prolonged lockouts. Unlike last year, all four major sports are going off without a hitch and we don’t have to concern ourselves with some endless, repetitive labor disp- wait, what? Really? You’re fucking kidding me! No hockey season, again?! God, I fucking hate Gary Bettman. Read More


Dylan Still Rolling at 71

September 14th, 2012 by

Review of Bob Dylan’s Tempest

I pretty much feel the same way about Bob Dylan that I do about Arrested Development (the TV show, not the rap group), which is to say that I enjoy both quite a bit, but I’ve never understood the insane levels of worship that either has received. This inevitably frustrates a lot of people, but while I like a lot of Bob Dylan’s work, I’ve never fully gotten what makes him the Greatest Songwriter Ever, as so many have dubbed him.

Read More


My Rejected Fantasy Football Column!

August 30th, 2012 by

Read The Article That A Subsidiary of ESPN Didn’t Think Was Good Enough!


A few weeks ago, Grantland began a contest to be their fantasy football writer. While I’m not much of a fantasy person (I won my league in 2010, but mostly because everyone else stopped paying attention), I thought I’d give it a try. Sadly, the results came in yesterday, of the 4000 entrants, I did not make the top 10. Thanks to the existence of alcohol, I’m not too broken up about this, but I figured since I did put some work into the column, why not put it out there and give people a chance to read it. If you’re unfamiliar with the rules, the instructions were to name your top 5 fantasy players and one sleeper. So, here’s my rejected entry into Grantland’s Fantasy Football Writer contest. Enjoy!

Read More


Why Scab Refs Will Ruin Football Season

August 20th, 2012 by

For the first time ever, NFL referees actually are as bad as fans think they are.

The NFL may start letting actual zebras be referees.

If you’re a sports fan, you hate the refs. That’s pretty much a given. No matter which team you root for in whatever sport, you have thought on numerous occasions that referees were either the dumbest human beings on the face of the earth, or they had a deliberate bias against your team. When they lose a close playoff game, if any blame at all can be placed on the refs, that’s where you place it. And if your team somehow manages to win the title, you think they did it in spite of all the horrid officials who were trying to screw them over. Read More


Fuck The Lakers

August 13th, 2012 by

Especially Kobe. But really, fuck all of them.

A rare moment of Howard not trying to get a coach fired

If we had to pick the most maddening team in all of the four major sports, I’m guessing it would come down to a virtual tie between the Yankees and the Lakers. Both teams win constantly, primarily because they spend money left and right, usually so they can take the best players from other, less fortunate teams. I can easily see hating either team, but I became a Yankees fan when I was 6, and there’s no turning back now. At least not until Jeter retires.

But the Lakers? They really burn my cannoli. After two “off” years in which they only made it to the second round of the playoffs, everyone’s least favorite NBA franchise reloaded in grand fashion this summer. First they added Steve Nash, who is somehow still one of the league’s best point guards despite being almost 40. Because turning the most likeable guy in the league over to the dark side wasn’t enough, the Lakers also added the league’s best center, Dwight Howard. Combining Nash and Howard with Kobe Bryant and Pau Gasol gives the Lakers an extremely potent stating lineup, and puts them among the favorites to win the title next season. Just like always. Read More


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