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About: Murphy


Posts by Murphy:

Not On Your Side

May 4th, 2011 by

Channel 2 WGRZ-TV un-vites me from debate because I write satire

I got another letter today from local NBC affiliate WGRZ–this time it was unopened, in the mailbox.  It reads:

As you are aware, WGRZ-TV and the Rochester Democrat & Chronicle invited the candidates for the 26th congressional district to a debate at the WGRZ-TV studios on May 12th. In fact, after a certified letter to your business, the Buffalo Beast, was returned to our station, we sent Scott Levin to your home to personally make sure you were given every opportunity to respond and participate. Read More


Levin on a Prayer

April 29th, 2011 by

Local news personality Scott Levin just showed up at my house

So I’m chilaxing on the couch, editing a forthcoming campaign video, and this tall, orange robot’s ringing my doorbell. What the fuck? It’s in polar fleece. It has the blue tooth. It is vaguely threatening.


Is that local NBC affiliate WGRZ news personality Scott to-the-mother-fucking Levin? Read More


The BEAST last minute tax guide

April 14th, 2011 by

Not paying your taxes has never been easier!

(click on image to view full size)

WARNING: The BEAST Last Minute Tax Guide & Civil Disobedience Primer is purely satire and not meant to inspire area TEA Baggers/tax cheats.




April 13th, 2011 by

Kathy Hochul challenges opponents to like hockey


Wow.  Seems like my Democratic opponent Kathy Hochul has really upped her game. Check out this amazing press release (assist to Scott Leffler, for having the stomach to report on this race): Read More


Have YOU seen Jane Corwin's birth certificate?

April 4th, 2011 by

Because I know I haven’t

The other day, I said to my maid, “Find my birth certificate or I’ll have you deported.” She looked puzzled. Maria can clean like no one’s business, but she can barely speak English, which can be very frustrating. And, although I am fluent, I refuse to speak Spanish because it’s a truly vulgar tongue. Read More


Are you pissed off?

March 27th, 2011 by

Major parties tell you to tighten your belt, so the corporate pigs may feast

I’m fed up with Democrat and Republican lies. One of those lies? That it’s time America had an “adult conversation” about our budget and the deficit. The conversation goes like this: Our country’s broke and we, the people, have to reduce our living standard to pay for corporate greed.

Of course, they’d never use that kind of honest language. But throughout the land workers are being denied their collective bargaining rights, social programs are on the chopping block — even children are being kicked off of food stamps! At the same time, insanely wealthy corporations who should pay their fair share, often pay no taxes at all. Read More



March 26th, 2011 by

Transsexual jumps on local pol

I’m in an odd position. I’m a reporter, but I’m also running for political office—the U.S. House of Representatives. I have so much dirt on myself and I can’t do a thing with it! Lurid sex, drug use, subversive activities…all prime rib to a reporter; all poison to a politician. But I’ve already written on those topics. There’s no new news there. As a recent BEAST commenter wrote, I’m the only candidate who’s scandal-proof. Or so I thought. Read More


An open letter to Andrew C. White

March 24th, 2011 by

Daily Kos Diarist (and Democratic Committee Chair) is Seriously Confused


Dear Andrew C. White,

I don’t know who you are, or why you’re trying to harsh my Congress buzz, but you’re doing it wrong.

Firstly, you give me grief for spelling my campaign website, MurphycanhasCongress.com, incorrectly. You think it should be “can haz”. While many people write it that way, one only need visit icanhascheezburger.com to see that it’s spelled “has”.

Fail, as the kids say. Read More


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