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About: Murphy

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http://buffalobeast.com/
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Consumer BEAST

August 11th, 2010 by


Modern gadgets, reviewed

BY MYLES O’BRIEN

Weber 721001 Smokey Mountain Cooker 18.5-Inch Smoker

$268.77

dfhgdfgdfgdfg
“I haz a kooker”

As my arch-Catholic forebear Jonathan Swift1 once wrote, “It is a fair thing indeed for a man, subjected as he may be to the worst afflictions and shambles, to now and again cook and consume and enjoy the venerable house-cat.” A wise man! Read More

1 Comment

Little Wack Hambo

August 11th, 2010 by

Author Alexander Zaitchik on Glenn Beck and “White Culture”

BY TYLER BASS

“[Glenn] Beck has repeatedly, respectfully, and recently played audio of men like Ezra Taft Benson, a Mormon apostle who thought the civil rights movement was a dastardly communist plot. Benson also wrote the forward to a book of race hate whose cover illustration featured the severed, bloody head of an African American.”

- Alexander Zaitchik, Common Nonsense – Glenn Beck and the Triumph of Ignorance Read More

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Iron Rand 2

July 8th, 2010 by

Tony Stark: Capitalist Übermensch

By Ellsworth Toohey Michael Caigoy


Robert Downey Jr. reprises his role as Hank Rearden Tony Stark, the brilliant entrepreneur who single-handedly invents a new steel alloy power source, leading to the creation of collectivist teapots the Iron Man suit.

This is a stupid, stupid movie. Read More

5 Comments

Obama's Temper Finally Broken By Daughter's Glass Of Spilled Juice

July 7th, 2010 by

Originally posted at The Enduring Vision

Sources inside the White House say that President Barack Obama, infamous for his cool temper, finally “flipped out” yesterday when his eight-year-old daughter Sasha spilled a glass of grape juice all over the living room floor.

“God damnit, Sasha,” Obama reportedly shouted, abruptly standing up from his easy chair and throwing down his newspaper in anger. “Watch what you’re doing once in a god damn while.” Read More

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McChrystal on 24-hr suicide watch

July 6th, 2010 by

mcchystal-feature

The most tragic thing that could ever happen, ever, happened. And it’s tragic. And it happened.

BY KENT PULLINGSWORTH

WASHINGTON — The White House today was shocked to learn that General Stanley McChrystal, whose recent resignation in the face of fierce criticism that re-ignited the national debate over the Afghan war, attempted suicide at Meridian Hill Park some time yesterday afternoon. The General had been fired from his position as commander of US forces in Afghanistan, after an appalling, and some say journalistically unethical, profile of him appeared in the pages of Rolling Stone magazine. Police have made no official comment, but eyewitnesses describe the incident as a botched hanging. Read More

4 Comments

Consumer BEAST

July 6th, 2010 by


Modern gadgets, reviewed

BY MYLES O’BRIEN

..

Fiskars 9668 Long Handle Digging Shovel
$32.99


A stylish way to move dirt and more!
A stylish way to move dirt and more!

Friends! Enemies! What is the purpose of the shovel? This is not a rhetorical question, and the answers are bountiful; you may say digging a large hole, yes, or the transfer of dirt from one bucket to another, yes, or the leveling of some earthen mound, yes. Read More

1 Comment

"Bob" is Dead

July 6th, 2010 by

X-DAY-SUCKED

Church of the Subgenius X Day disappoints the faithless

BY JOSH BUNTING


The naked old man on the dirt road in the middle of the Brushwood Folklore Center didn’t seem like he was going from one place to another. He and his shriveled up dick were just out there, on display for anyone driving around or whose eyes happened to wander around the huge open field, where he was one of a very few people walking around. So we turned away from him and started to explore the layout of the festivities before setting up some kind of base camp. Read More

32 Comments

Conspiracy Corner

July 6th, 2010 by

conspiracy_corner-dolphin-guy

The military’s time traveling dolphin/human hybrids: is that a thing?

BY TYLER BASS


Aaron McCollum’s
story is one that will either leave you believing him insane, a liar, the greatest government whistleblower of all time or some combination of the three. Initially, in conversation with him, I confessed my belief to him that I thought he might even be a liar, a statement about which he seemed remarkably understanding, if of course in disagreement. Read More

2 Comments

Breaking BEAST: Alvin Greene in shower!

June 13th, 2010 by

South Carolina’s unlikely Democratic nominee for Senate, the mysterious Alvin Greene, is currently “in the shower,” according to a recording the BEAST has obtained of a call between an unnamed source and Greene’s father and roommate James. He will be available for further media scrutiny in “about ten minutes.”

Alvin Green.1.James

[UPDATE: the phone's busy.]

greene-header1

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RedState Revelations

June 10th, 2010 by
Ken Mehlman’s Down Syndrome prostitution ring, Karl Rove’s gay lovers, Michael Steele’s money laundering schemes and more!

A SHOCKING INTERVIEW WITH REDSTATE.COM’S ERICK ERICKSON

BY EDWARD CONE

Spring was full on and the budding trees and blooming bushes obscured Erick Erickson’s means of arrival. On the phone he had said he’d meet me only in an open-air public place. For his safety, he insisted. And for mine. He dressed for this occasion differently than he had for his many television appearances; gone were the fancy suits and fat ties, and with them, wherever they were, went the obnoxious swagger, the smug look on his face. He wore sweatpants and a hoodie two sizes too big for him, if that were possible, and on his face an expression of sincere fright with his rat-eyes set in a suspicious squint. The only thing to equal my rather low expectations was his giant block head which sat squat on his neck like an inverted mason jar over which loose drooping skin had been poured from a large bucket. He approached without looking at me. Read More

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