"Totally coup, yo."

Big Cock Distracts Entire Nation

Jun

06

by

(And something about Rep. Anthony Weiner)

breitbart

It seems like years ago that America caught Hochulmania. A Dem won in NY-26, which is redder than a baboon’s ass, and it was a clear referendum on the Paul Ryan budget. That was the story. It had legs. And hooves.

Now the scoop is a congressional dick Tweet, courtesy of Andrew Breitbart, via some dude with a fake-sounding name. There’s absolutely no reason to believe that “Dan Wolfe” is real. All he is, right now, is the deleted Twitter account @patriot76. Through that account, “Wolfe” bragged weeks ago that a “top5 RightWing blogger has sexscandal pics” of Weiner.

Wolfe-tweet

Then, according to the dodgy timeline, he emails Breitbart the dick pic. No one’s actually talked to the guy. Just a few emails with the press wherein he cites legal/stress/crazy-ex/work issues to extricate himself from the scandal. He deletes his Twitter account. And poof; he’s gone.

I’d be surprised if Dan Wolfe were not, in fact, Beirtbart himself. Or someone he knows. Some on the “left” are defending Breitbart. And Breitbart even has the good sense to accuse “Wolfe” of hacking Rep. Weiner on his blog. If I were going to create a sock puppet to feed me news tips and salacious photos, I’d damn well do the same.

As easy as it is to say that everything Breitbart does is bullshit (because it’s true), and therefor he’s somehow lying about his role in this, we need to examine the evidence of this particular case. That evidence shows that Breitbart either published a photo of Rep. Weiner’s junk, which he knew to be hacked, or he published a photo without verifying its authenticity. Those are two options. Another is that he was more actively involved in the hack.

The dick is Weiner’s. No doubt. And he’s not done a very good job of denying it. But did Breitbart know it was legit? Or was he simply hoping the smear would stick? I don’t really care. And neither should you. And, yet, I’m writing about it. Sorry.

Overnight, our national conversation–if you can call it that–went from the third rail of American politics to its third leg. As I was prone to say on the campaign trail, soliciting transsexual encounters on Craigslist was quite possibly Chris Lee’s most noble pursuit while in office. But America can’t seem to focus on the bipartisan, corporate cock that’s fucking it into poverty. Our puritanical sensibilities only get ruffled by the vulgarities of human sexuality. Lee resigned his NY-26 seat not because he embodied the anti-social greed of a modern Republican, which he did, but because he used his dick.

Corwin was supposed to win. Her staff was basically Lee’s old crew. But she threw in with Paul Ryan’s budget, and NY-26 told her to scram. That should still be the story. America says no to Ayn Rand libertarians and privatizing the Great Society, for the profit of billionaires. And that story should’ve run until we started talking about the class war in a broader scope.

But, now, there is only dick.

UPDATE:

Weiner not hacked. Breitbart has been disturbingly vindicated–in this instance. And that’s the real tragedy here.

  • CrazyMama

    The reason we are talking about it is because of the interviews after addressing that. They are hilarious. Wolfe Blitzer’s was super funny, he kept showing weiner the picture and weiner kept saying I already have seen it.
    And Weiner has never denied that it was his wang. But he did say the underwear didn’t look familar. He said his account was hacked and he didn’t send the picture but when asked if it was him he kept skirting around the question saying he was having it investigated to see whether it was him or not. Even NPR’s tell me more were talking about it, the men were all saying they’d know if it was their junk.

  • rightwingnut

    Hey Wiener! Can’t you get LAID? You have to resort to FISHING expeditions like this? LAME DUDE!

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