"Totally coup, yo."






By Slidell Montgomery

Ah, the brisk autumn air. The ivy-cloaked brick walls. The security of your flask of sipping whiskey, nestled in the inside pocket of your full-length raccoon coat.

You’ll long remember the easy walks, charged with anticipation, just you and your classmates–your mates for life to come–trouncing through the ankle deep blanket of bright-colored leaves on your way to one dreamy, afternoon, gridiron gala after another.

For UB football fans, it will be more like: take Millersport Highway to the suburban multi-purpose stadium at the edge of the Amherst campus, stuff a couple Molsons into your outdated hip hop jeans and sneak under the fence for some NCAA Division I-A disparity.

This will be the UB Bulls fourth foray into the elite ranks of the top competitive bracket of college football. They enter the 2002 campaign ranked, by Sports Illustrated Magazine, 112 of 117. Coming off a 3-8 effort last year, the Bulls open against Lehigh.

The Bulls enter this year with a roster as green as a Pop Warner team.

But they ain’t doin’ bad for a school who only re-entered I-A competition in 1999. They will be tested against the likes of Big 10 fixture Minnesota and 17th ranked conference rivals Marshall.

Lehigh, Kent State, Connecticut and Ohio will be the Bulls surest opportunities for triumph. They return running back Marquis Dwante(588 rushing yards in 2001) and sophomore quarterback Randall Secky(15-of-35 for 153 yards in four appearances).

UB has done much to stir up interest, as last week’s kickoff pep rally featured veteran rocker Pat Benetar and skate legend Tony Hawk, all for a $15 ticket. Forget that Benetar played Thursday In The Square this summer, which I understand is free. And Tony Hawk is so overexposed he’s probably long boarding around Walden Galleria right now.

Yesterday’s evening home-opener featured a team introduction by that obnoxious WWF announcer Michael Buffer and a halftime gag from some guy called Rocketman.

The Beast forecasted for yesterday’s game: UB victorious over Lehigh 36-5 (which will require a safety on the part of the opponents)

Aug. 29 LEHIGH 7:30 pm Sept. 7 at Rutgers 7:00 pm Sept. 14 CONNECTICUT 7:30 pm Sept. 21 at Minnesota 2:30 pm

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