50. Tiger Woods
Charges: Rose to god-like celebrity and tycoon-level riches smacking a ball into a hole with a stick. His promiscuity with commercial endorsements makes his sexual dalliances seem frivolous by contrast. Cheated on his Swedish supermodel wife with over a dozen women, all of whom look like “Rock of Love” washouts.
Exhibit A: “Who is your new boy toy?”
Sentence: Zero stroke penalty.