"Totally coup, yo."

Breaking BEAST


Pol Dancing in Wisconsin

Jun

04

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Scott Fitzgerald Gives a Stripper a Ride?

UPDATE 9:35 pm: PROBABLY MAYBE MIGHT BE NOT! More info below original post.

Scott Fitzgerald, the Republican Senator who’s represented the 13th district since ’94, is facing a tough recall election tomorrow against Democratic opponent Lori Compas. So it’s too bad for him that a confidential source just emailed me some highly interesting photos.

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Murphy's Law VII: Jury Selection and Shit-Water

May

16

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Jury selection is like playing poker for your freedom. And before I get into all that, I should say hello to the jurors. Hello! The judge explicitly told you not to visit The BEAST, so I presume that’s exactly what most of you are going to do. It’s kind of like that time my buddy told me never to Google “Goatse”. I also do not recommend that. But you’re probably curious about that now, too, so…I told you! Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I’m going to pretend like you fine, and very reasonable, people are not reading this. Otherwise, I’m going to keep talking about how I live with and care for my disabled mother. It’s true. I’m a good person. I prepare all her meals, do all the household chores, and have generally sacrificed my well-being for hers. No shit. I also used to roam the streets of Buffalo at night handing out sandwiches to homeless people. Sometimes I even let them crash at my place. And let’s not forget that time I saved a kitten from certain death. I’ll stop now. Sorry. See how polite I am! Seriously, though, I’m done…but, by the way, you looked amazing today! Have you been working out? It shows!

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BEASTcast 28: Sanal Edamaruku

Apr

15

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Sanal Edamaruku is the founder-president of Rationalist International and our first repeat BEASTcast guest. We talk about how he recently debunked a Catholic miracle claim in Mumbai and the blasphemy charges against him that ensued. You can donate to the Sanal Edamaruku Defence Fund and support free expression in India here. Music is by Pigface and is used with permission. You can subscribe to the BEASTcast here or rate and/or leave a review in iTunes.

n.b. Contrary to what I said introducing him, Sanal Edamaruku has not been arrested for blasphemy. There are charges against him, but as of the time I’m writing this those charges have not yet resulted in an arrest. 

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Murphy's Law

Jul

27

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The true story of how I shot a cop and went to jail (and something about a dildo)

“They got me on some straight-up bullshit, son!” exclaimed the kid sitting next to me in the bullpen at the Erie County Holding Center. “What they get you on?”

“I shot a cop,” I growled, shooting him an icy stare. “And I’d do it again.”

“Son?!” His face froze in delighted dismay. “Real? That nigga dead?!”

“I really doubt it.”

“Jablaow!” he mimicked a gunshot, aiming his hand at the mucus-encrusted, blood-smeared brick wall. “What’d you use–a nine, forty-five…”

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Murphy calls for execution of so-called “Peace Activist”

Apr

14

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We got this press release from Murphy and if we don’t run it he’ll beat us

**For immediate release**

Ian Murphy calls for the swift execution of so-called “Peace Activist” Nate Buckley, who was pepper-sprayed and arrested following last Friday’s “peace march.”

According to Artvoice’s Geoff Kelly:

“Last Friday’s peace march in downtown Buffalo ended in tears for activist Nate Buckley, courtesy of a dose of pepper spray administered directly into his eyes. Bruises, too, courtesy of the officer’s nightstick.

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Are you pissed off?

Mar

27

by

Major parties tell you to tighten your belt, so the corporate pigs may feast

I’m fed up with Democrat and Republican lies. One of those lies? That it’s time America had an “adult conversation” about our budget and the deficit. The conversation goes like this: Our country’s broke and we, the people, have to reduce our living standard to pay for corporate greed.

Of course, they’d never use that kind of honest language. But throughout the land workers are being denied their collective bargaining rights, social programs are on the chopping block — even children are being kicked off of food stamps! At the same time, insanely wealthy corporations who should pay their fair share, often pay no taxes at all.

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Scott Walker and Rush Limbaugh are lying scumbags

Feb

27

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The common conservative response to our recent story on Governor Scott Walker is that it merely proves that Walker has been saying the same thing publicly that he’s been saying privately, and that there was therefore no news value to it. The claim was first made by the Governor himself, when he initially confirmed that it was in fact his voice on the audio recording we posted:

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The SPJ's double standards

Feb

27

by

The “Society of Professional Journalists” is pretty upset with the way that nobody covering the story seems to get angry enough about how Murphy was deceptive in his talk with Governor Walker. They cite their own ethical code in that journalists should be “honest, fair and courageous in gathering, reporting and interpreting news.”

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BEAST UNDER ATTACK!

Jan

24

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Horrid gossip hag pens sinister hit piece on BEAST editor


After four sleepless days, I finally finish and post the Loathsome List, then snort some hillbilly heroin, smoke a roach and slip into a 30-hour coma. I wake up to find that the list is wildly popular, and that I’ve received an email from one Betsy Rothstein—the editor of some insipid Beltway gossip blog called Fishballs DC. She wants to talk to me. Naturally.

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