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Fallon speaks, volume III

Jul

25

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A drunken BEAST publisher Paul Fallon semi-coherently reviews an obscure sci-fi film from the ’70s, talks “American Exceptionalism” and selfishness, and wonders what the damn kids are always doing on their phones.


World Net Daily: believes in dragons, claims I’m in “denial of Obama’s patently evident Neo-Marxist socio-political worldview”

Jun

19

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I’ve finally made it. The fundie lunatics at World Net Daily have at long last acknowledged my existence and important contribution to society. And it’s pretty goddamn funny.

Matt-Barber

Barber wants to “unite” with Murphy (probably gay code)

Written by WND contributor—Washington Times, Town Hall hatemonger, and self-loathing homosexual—Matt Barber, the article “Liberals and conservatives, unite!” has a strong title which is soon undermined by the conservative delusion under which Barber thinks we should all suffer:

In the wake of CIA whistleblower Edward Snowden’s earthshaking revelation that the Obama NSA has been spying on tens of millions of Americans – conservatives, liberals and moderates alike – by illegally searching and seizing telephone calls and other private data, I tweeted the following: “So can liberals and conservatives all come together now and agree that Obama is a Marxist tyrant?”

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Bill Maher & the Evangelical Left

May

29

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This article originally appeared at the Progressive.

New Rule: Maher must blow the Baby Jesus if he’s going to keep preaching Democratic magic

It’s absolutely horrific. Although the single, “I wanna bang you,” is debatably the most convincing argument for nuclear holocaust to date, I’m not referring to the release of Paris Hilton’s second album. Vastly more terrifying than the Auto-tuned caterwauling of a vapid hotel heiress is the degree to which political affiliation and base tribalism warps our very perception of reality.

For instance, a recent study published by the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences demonstrated that self-identified conservatives were far less likely to purchase energy-efficient compact fluorescent lightbulbs if a sticker on the package read: “Protect the environment.” And, in the real world, Obama-era liberals have repeatedly supported policies they once reviled only because the sticker on the box read: “Hope and Change.”

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How Louis C.K. ruined Louis C.K. for me

Apr

06

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“Atheists are arrogant,” says half-bright comedian

louis.ck

C.K. does his impression of Rick Santorum

Life in Buffalo is a relentless shit-show. Unless you’re excited by awful sports teams, there’s not a lot of quality entertainment around, so on the rare occasion a comedy genius rolls through town you go. You just go. And for two hours you get to forget you live in Buffalo. Sadly, not very long into his set, Louis C.K. did a bit that left me acutely aware of where I was, how much I overpaid for my ticket, and why our species is so utterly fucked.

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Community: An Imitation Of Community

Feb

22

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At least it’s still better than Go On.

Last spring, a large section of the internet had a collective seizure when it was announced the NBC sitcom Community would be going forward without Dan Harmon, the super-duper-mega-genius who created it all. It seemed like sacrilege, since the show was Harmon’s baby from the beginning, and he had put so much of his blood, sweat, and tears into the project.

When it was announced that he would be replaced by David Guarascio and Moses Port, best known for their work on Happy Endings and Just Shoot Me (the latter is a fairly underrated show, for the record), all the diehard fans were all to eager to write the postmortem for Community without even seeing any of the new episodes. Well, after watching the first three episodes of the post-Harmon era, it’s my sad duty to report that those devoted ultra-fans actually had a point.

The show just isn’t the same.

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I’m Running For Pope

Feb

13

by

First funny Family Guy joke in three years. And it's not actually from Family Guy...

After 8 years on the job, Pope Benedict And The Jets XVI decided to call it quits this week, presumably because covering up child molestation is grueling, tiresome work. This, of course, means there is a vacancy at the Pope position, and since I’m three months away from graduating from college, and I could really use a job, I thought I’d throw my hat into the ring.

What’s that you say? Pope is too tough of a job for a 22-year-old, perpetually drunk college student? I beg to differ. This seems like the easiest job on the planet. All I have to do is not cover up thousands of pederasts and I’ll be better than either of the last two guys to do it. Piece of cake!

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Atheism’s Class Problem

Nov

16

by

Beyond godlessness, the fight for social justice

The religious reflex of the real world can, in any case, only then finally vanish, when the practical relations of every-day life offer to man none but perfectly  intelligible and reasonable relations with regard to his fellowmen and to Nature. 
~ Karl Marx, Capital, Volume I

In early October, I received an email from author Richard Carrier. He heard that I was writing an article—this one, as it turns out—lamenting the general neglect of class issues among atheist writers. Among other things, Carrier wanted me to know about the new movement—which, actually, I had been watching since its inception—called “Atheism Plus” (a.k.a. “Atheism +” or “A+”). It is, he wrote, an entire movement “dedicated to including … problems of poverty, income inequality … and other issues of social justice.” (Note: there is no breach of confidence here—on his blog Carrier has promoted A+ and elaborated at considerable length on what he takes to be the core concerns of the movement.) At about the same time, Adam Lee, writing in Salon on 06 October, averred that one of the aims of A+ is to “call for equality of opportunity and economic fairness.”

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Breaking: men want to fuck teenage girls

Oct

21

by

Reddit, perverts, free speech, privacy, toughtcrime, misogytrolling™, and my own personal ignorance all wrapped up in an article that’s way too long for anyone to read…which is probably for the best

 

Let’s start with one of my favorite tunes. “Smut” by Tom Lehrer:

Okay then. Time to make myself a moral pariah. Again.

Interesting exposé by Gawker’s Adrian Chen is interesting. Since you’re on Internet, I presume you’ve read it. But, anyway, it’s about one Michael Brutsch. He lives in Texas. Has Had some shitty job. Just a normal guy who likes to anonymously propagate jack-off pics — up-skirts, ripped Facebook bikini shots, etc. — of unwitting underage girls on the Reddit. He’s also into “Niggerjailbait” and “rapebait” stuff. He’s the Internet’s most prolific peddler of taboo. Well, he used to be, before Chen outed him.

Now we’re left with a truly interesting debate on exploitation, smut, free speech, sexuality, anonymity…heavy ethical shit.

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