"Totally coup, yo."

Murphy



Black & Godless in Philly, Harlem and D.C.

Oct

22

by

Or Richard Dawkins, Other Africans Reveal Radical, Atheist Afro-genda at Howard University

BY IAN “WHITE PRIVILEGE” MURPHY


THE NORTH AMERICAN WILDERNESS—Used to be a time when a white man could put a black lawn jockey or Carl Paladino sign out front of his summer home, and feel a sense of pride, because race-hate was moral in God’s book. And black folks appreciated the white man’s sins because the same book taught them that to suffer on the oppressor’s cross was divine. Those were the “good old days,” as candy bars only cost 5¢ and the gays knew their place.

But no more. There’s a black POTUS. Black atheists meet out in the open. Even my girlfriend is black! What has happened to my country?

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This is Howie do it

Oct

17

by

The BEAST Interrogates NY Green Party Gubernatorial Candidate Howie Hawkins

BY IAN MURPHY

howie

You don’t get a lot of press compared to Cuomo and Paladino. Why is that, and have you ever considered threatening a reporter or forwarding equine pornography emails to get more of the spotlight?

We don’t need stunts to get attention. Our Green New Deal speaks for itself:

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Whore More Years!

Sep

22

by

The Manhattan Madam’s pointless run for NY Governor

BY IAN MURPHY

DAVIS-HEADER
BUFFALO–So I’m on lunch the other day, covered in sawdust, specks of paint and your general blue-collar grime, when I notice what appeared to be a prostitute and her diminutive pimp posing for photos in Niagara Square. He’s pinstriped and wearing a fedora. The hooker’s a spray-tan…woman with collagen-duck-lips, long bleach-blond hair, caked-on-makeup, leg tattoos and enough silicon on the top floor to caulk an entire mansion. I’m just eating my shitty gas station sandwich on a bench, wondering what & why?

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Ted Talks

Sep

04

by

IDEAS WORTH DREADING

(The unauthorized interview of Sharron Angle’s husband Ted)

BY IAN MURPHY


Ted-Talks-2


“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God.”
- Corinthians 11:3 (The Bible)

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A Bridge to the Future

Aug

17

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A modest proposal to destroy faith

BY IAN MURPHY

bridge

I hereby propose, on this magnanimous day, the Importeenth of August, 2010, a practical solution to destroy religious belief in our time. For reasons which will soon be abundantly clear, some steps need to be taken before this very practical proposal can be fully elucidated. So, without delay:

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Mormon Zombies (From Space!)

Aug

11

by

Missionaries from planet Kolob invade earth to explain God’s bellybutton, eat brains


A DISPATCH FROM THE FRONTLINES OF THE CULTURE WAR

BY IAN MURPHY

So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.

Sun Tzu, The Art of War

We should chain them up in your basement,” I offered. “You know, get all Gitmo on their asses— sensory deprivation, extremes in temperature, naked pyramids… That’s the only way to really get through to these things.

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The BP Tapes

Jun

09

by

BEAST bug at Podesta Group catches candid conversation

A SPECIAL BEAST REPORT!

….
Several months ago, while investigating the apparent ties between former Clinton Chief of Staff, and current President of the Center for American Progress, John Podesta and the fossil fuel industry (a charge he vehemently denies), we at The BEAST couldn’t help but notice: The Podesta Group, the lobbying firm John founded with his brother Tony in ’88, represents BP America. While John’s not been on payroll, for a few years now, Tony has since become a DC powerhouse.

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