"Totally coup, yo."

News


MADTOWN

Mar

04

by

The Front Lines of America’s Class War

(Photo: Ed Beck)
(Photo: Ed Beck)

Part One: Buffalo to Wisconsin

Last Saturday about 250 Cheeseheads-in-solidarity huddled on the freezing steps of City Hall in Buffalo. It was cute and toothless, like a kitten with leukemia. I’d say it accomplished nothing, but it did have the effect of making us all very cold.

Continue Reading


Koch Whore

Feb

23

by

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker answers his master’s call

David Koch”: We’ll back you any way we can. What we were thinking about the crowd was, uh, was planting some troublemakers.

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker: You know, well, the only problem with that—because we thought about that…

***

whores

WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT TO WITNESS IS REAL. NO NAMES HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT. THERE ARE NO INNOCENT.
-MURPHY

Continue Reading


KOCH KILLS

Feb

14

by

Billionaire Bashing in Rancho Mirage, CA

by Mike Roddy

sfdsfsdfdsf

We came dressed for battle at Rancho Las Palmas Hotel. Gail Zawacki and I had matching tuxedo shirts, top hats, ghoul masks, and the best sign ever: KOCH KILLS, on an eight by two foot banner, painted in dripping red by Gail. We’d been planning it for weeks, and came from New Jersey and Seattle, respectively, for this important event.
***
And we’re not talking about whatever the gathering inside the hotel met for—no mystery there: “How can we evade paying taxes? When can we destroy Social Security? Those pesky pollution and climate change rules are cutting into our bottom lines; who should we bribe?”

Continue Reading


The 50 Most Loathsome Americans of 2010

Jan

19

by

paula-deen50) Paula Deen
Charges: The A.Q. Khan of the culinary world, her secret recipes are demonstrably more dangerous to America than a nuclear armed North Korea. When not delighting delusional hicks on “Huckabee,” she’s cooking up coronary-clogging treats like the “Luther”—a bacon-topped cheeseburger served between two glazed donuts—whose purported inventor Luther Vandross suffered from diabetes and died of a massive heart explosion. Make no mistake, this insane, evangelical pumpkin-face is trying to send you into the arms of Jesus.
Aggravating factor: “I’m gonna start with my normal ingredient, y’all: one stick of butter.”
Sentence: Steamed and served over a healthy bed of greens.

Continue Reading


Caigoy Shrugs, Part IV

Jan

16

by

BEAST philosopher-at-large Michael Caigoy reads Ayn Rand’s Atlas Shrugged, so you don’t have to


Part Four: Rand Vs. Nature

(read part one, two and three)

RANDMEN

It’s important in Atlas Shrugged to vilify Rearden’s wife, Lillian, so his betrayal can be rationalized. For an author like Rand, who has little interest in the pathos of female characters (Dagny hardly counts), shortcuts must be taken in undermining any sympathy the reader might develop. To this end, Rand picked through the literary trough and found frigidity — the gimmick wheeled out by Orwell to justify Winston’s separating from his wife, freeing him morally, to later bone Julia and brew coffee out in an old peeping-tom’s loft space.

Continue Reading


The BEAST's Most Heinous Climate Villains, 2010

Dec

11

by
BY MIKE RODDY & IAN MURPHY

(This article was published originally by Alternet.)

This was the hottest decade on record and 2010 has been the hottest year on record. Extreme weather and starvation are increasing on every continent, as beetles devour our forests and jellyfish begin to rule the sea. MIT and the Met Office Hadley Centre predict a business as usual 6 degree Celsius surface warming by 2100, and more than that over land. Climatologists call this being “screwed.” Response from the oil and coal people? Bend over. What follows is a list of people who just don’t get it, are handsomely rewarded not to get it, or both.

Continue Reading


The Rent is Exceedingly Pricey

Nov

19

by

JIMMY MCMILLAN on his 2012 Presidential Bid, Sarah Palin and the Tea Party, a possible cage death-match with Chuck Norris, space aliens in the VA, breakfast-lunch-and-dinner, drinking his own urine and something about the price of shelter in a BEASTCLUSIVE Interview.


McMillan:kjgkjg
McMillan: “So what’s wrong with drinking your own urine? You see, you were told it’s no good; you believe it’s no good. Don’t you believe that.”

B: If you had to choose, what’s the most important meal of the day: breakfast, lunch or dinner?

JM: Hahaha! Both—all three! But you need breakfast. Breakfast is key. That’s what I’m having right now. You may not eat dinner, but the breakfast is very important because your body shut down at night when you go to sleep. If you don’t sleep at night, whatever time you wake up will be breakfast. You need to put that in your body, so your body can function and all that.

Continue Reading


NEOCON LIKE ME:

Nov

04

by
HOW I SPENT A YEAR IN IRAQ TEACHING WITH THE BUSH-CHENEY CRAZIES
BY JOHN DOLAN
(This piece was originally published at Alternet)


The hero of this story is the $100 bill — or rather, the wad of $100 bills. My first meeting with those lovely $100 bills came at the end of my interview for a job teaching English at the American University of Iraq Sulaimaniya (AUIS). At the end of the interview, the Chancellor, Joshua Mitchell asked me what my travel expenses had been and pulled out a wad of $100 bills. He peeled off 11 of them — the cost of my ticket — and slapped them down on the table, snarling, “There, that’s how I do business!”

Continue Reading



Black & Godless in Philly, Harlem and D.C.

Oct

22

by

Or Richard Dawkins, Other Africans Reveal Radical, Atheist Afro-genda at Howard University

BY IAN “WHITE PRIVILEGE” MURPHY


THE NORTH AMERICAN WILDERNESS—Used to be a time when a white man could put a black lawn jockey or Carl Paladino sign out front of his summer home, and feel a sense of pride, because race-hate was moral in God’s book. And black folks appreciated the white man’s sins because the same book taught them that to suffer on the oppressor’s cross was divine. Those were the “good old days,” as candy bars only cost 5¢ and the gays knew their place.

But no more. There’s a black POTUS. Black atheists meet out in the open. Even my girlfriend is black! What has happened to my country?

Continue Reading


  • Archives


  • Warning: require_once(all_images/config.php) [function.require-once]: failed to open stream: No such file or directory in /nfs/c09/h03/mnt/134940/domains/buffalobeast.com/html/wp-content/themes/Beast/footer.php on line 28

    Fatal error: require_once() [function.require]: Failed opening required 'all_images/config.php' (include_path='.:/usr/local/php-5.3.29/share/pear') in /nfs/c09/h03/mnt/134940/domains/buffalobeast.com/html/wp-content/themes/Beast/footer.php on line 28