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This is Howie do it

Oct

17

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The BEAST Interrogates NY Green Party Gubernatorial Candidate Howie Hawkins

BY IAN MURPHY

howie

You don’t get a lot of press compared to Cuomo and Paladino. Why is that, and have you ever considered threatening a reporter or forwarding equine pornography emails to get more of the spotlight?

We don’t need stunts to get attention. Our Green New Deal speaks for itself:

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Whore More Years!

Sep

22

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The Manhattan Madam’s pointless run for NY Governor

BY IAN MURPHY

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BUFFALO–So I’m on lunch the other day, covered in sawdust, specks of paint and your general blue-collar grime, when I notice what appeared to be a prostitute and her diminutive pimp posing for photos in Niagara Square. He’s pinstriped and wearing a fedora. The hooker’s a spray-tan…woman with collagen-duck-lips, long bleach-blond hair, caked-on-makeup, leg tattoos and enough silicon on the top floor to caulk an entire mansion. I’m just eating my shitty gas station sandwich on a bench, wondering what & why?

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i haz a meme

Sep

09

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Delusional bigot draws massive crowd of delusional bigots

AN EMBEDDED REPORT FROM GLENN BECK’S “RESTORING HONOR” RALLY BY TYLER BASS

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AUGUST 28, 2010 — As America declines, so does its sanity.  The crazy has coalesced alongside the Tidal Basin and the Lincoln Memorial, DC. A delusional, racist demagogue has drawn about 200,ooo delusional, racist idiots, for a “Restoring Honor” rally. It’s a historic day in America. It’s an historic day in Britain. It’s the first time since Martin Luther King Jr. gave his inspiring “I have a dream” speech in ’63 — on this same day, in this same spot — that a white man has had the unashamed bigotry, cognitive dissonance and unchecked megalomania to squat over that inspiring dream and take a massive, steaming shit.

Those who camped out  for Glenn Beck’s  jingoist revival were not lucid dreamers. They are an uneducated and devastatingly stupid sect of the white majority, who fancy themselves existentially threatened by some swarthy other. To them, our president is counted among that melanin-rich horde of ill-defined evil. Squeezing my way through the lawn chair pews, I felt like I was inside the film Jesus Camp.

Going into this situation with a beard and long hair made things really interesting, but I wouldn’t try it again. One guy I met, Chris, who would stress to me the importance of removing the tax burden from the highest-income tax earners, and who called himself a Christian, told me that I was likely to get more interesting answers if I looked like some radical hippie freak. In hindsight, I agree.

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Ted Talks

Sep

04

by

IDEAS WORTH DREADING

(The unauthorized interview of Sharron Angle’s husband Ted)

BY IAN MURPHY


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“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God.”
- Corinthians 11:3 (The Bible)

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Everyone Must Die at Lily Dale

Aug

29

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Medium burned by poorly-Photoshopped ghost of James Randi

BY JOSH BUNTING


In the mid-19th century, three sisters from a sleepy upstate NY community managed to convince the world that they could communicate with the dead. Late in their lives, two of the Fox sisters demonstrated how they pulled off this fraud (one of them simply cracked the knuckle in her big toe). Unfortunately, their confession wasn’t enough to change the minds of true “spirit world” believers, and the legend continues to the present. So does the tradition of bilking the gullible.

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DEAD WRONG

Aug

22

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A Belated Obituary of Christopher Hitchens

BY EDWARD CONE

HITCH-OBIT

Imagine a man whose heart and mind are of the purest magnolia-white nobility, a man whose devotion to his championed causes knows no limit. A man whose deft yet savage wit collapses the elaborate charades of his enemies. A man who in debate is feared by his opponents, revered by his admirers and reviled by his detractors. A man whose pen, described by some, perhaps inevitably, as acid-tipped, has felled with ease a coterie of smarmy bureaucrats, polished generals, lazy talking heads, fraudulent journalists, Henry Kissinger

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The 5 Worst Quacks Around Today

Aug

17

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I’m going to have to limit this list to people who are currently practicing some form of quackery, because if I tried to make a historical list I’d feel compelled to handicap for that person’s period in history. So Isaac Newton, who was literally one of the smartest people ever, believed in alchemy. The great 17th century astronomer Johannes Kepler believed in astrology. Lots of the ancient Greek philosophers believed in demons. Demons that controlled their thoughts. Seriously. But you’ve really got to cut them some slack because of how primitive human understanding was in their times. If you’re living in a technologically advanced society today, as the five below are, you really have no excuse for that kind of ignorance. So to make it a level playing field, here are what I think are the worst purveyors of antiscientific pseudomedicine around today.

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Mormon Zombies (From Space!)

Aug

11

by

Missionaries from planet Kolob invade earth to explain God’s bellybutton, eat brains


A DISPATCH FROM THE FRONTLINES OF THE CULTURE WAR

BY IAN MURPHY

So it is said that if you know your enemies and know yourself, you can win a hundred battles without a single loss.
If you only know yourself, but not your opponent, you may win or may lose.
If you know neither yourself nor your enemy, you will always endanger yourself.

Sun Tzu, The Art of War

We should chain them up in your basement,” I offered. “You know, get all Gitmo on their asses— sensory deprivation, extremes in temperature, naked pyramids… That’s the only way to really get through to these things.

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Little Wack Hambo

Aug

11

by

Author Alexander Zaitchik on Glenn Beck and “White Culture”

BY TYLER BASS

“[Glenn] Beck has repeatedly, respectfully, and recently played audio of men like Ezra Taft Benson, a Mormon apostle who thought the civil rights movement was a dastardly communist plot. Benson also wrote the forward to a book of race hate whose cover illustration featured the severed, bloody head of an African American.”

- Alexander Zaitchik, Common Nonsense – Glenn Beck and the Triumph of Ignorance

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McChrystal on 24-hr suicide watch

Jul

06

by

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The most tragic thing that could ever happen, ever, happened. And it’s tragic. And it happened.

BY KENT PULLINGSWORTH

WASHINGTON — The White House today was shocked to learn that General Stanley McChrystal, whose recent resignation in the face of fierce criticism that re-ignited the national debate over the Afghan war, attempted suicide at Meridian Hill Park some time yesterday afternoon. The General had been fired from his position as commander of US forces in Afghanistan, after an appalling, and some say journalistically unethical, profile of him appeared in the pages of Rolling Stone magazine. Police have made no official comment, but eyewitnesses describe the incident as a botched hanging.

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