We get it Seth, you like rape jokes
When it comes to TV comedies, I’m a pretty cheap date. Sure, I may prefer sophisticated material like classic Simpsons (which for me, is Seasons 2-9), or Community, but I’m more willing to slog my way through the monotonous mediocre muck of Two And A Half Men or Yes, Dear when I just need to go 30 minutes without thinking. As much as I like to pretend I have good taste in TV, I’ve probably kept a lot of shitty shows on the air over the years.
With that said, nothing bothers me more than watching a legitimately good TV show turn to shit by pandering to the lowest common denominator at every possible turn. For the past seven years, that’s what’s happened been happening to Family Guy.
It’s probably hard to remember, but during it’s first three years (when almost no one was watching), Family Guy was actually a pretty good show. Sure, it was lowbrow, and it obviously borrowed a lot from The Simpsons, but it was also a well-written show that mixed contextual humor in with its many cutaway gags.
Ever since 2005, Family Guy has basically been a howitzer that fires rape jokes at you. When it was brought back from cancellation for the second time, I was thrilled. Little did I know Seth MacFarlane was going to do all he could to make the show as unpleasant a viewing experience as humanly possible. The show no longer cared about context, or if a joke was making a satirical point. It just throws jokes at you randomly, and very few of them stick. As a result, Family Guy has become extremely popular, mostly with idiots.
Of course, Family Guy’s biggest problem isn’t when it tells bad jokes. It’s when it refuses to tell any jokes, but rather just blatantly wastes viewers’ time. Like the episode where there was a 4-minute Conway Twitty clip. Or the one that showed David Bowie and Mick Jagger’s “Dancing In The Street” video in its entirety. You know, because writing 22 minutes of decent material is fucking hard. And besides, the idiots are going to tune in anyway.
Here’s the worst part: Seth MacFarlane knows how bad Family Guy’s gotten, and actually thinks it should be cancelled. So why won’t he just follow his gut? For the same reason Brett Favre played until he was 41 and his poor withered penis couldn’t take it anymore: he can still make money. See, people watch Family Guy, which means Seth MacFarlane can make money, which means cocaine-addicted 18 year-old models will want to fuck him, which means he’s going to keep making Family Guy.
As easy (and fun) as it would be to call MacFarlane a hack, it’s not really the case. As stated earlier, the first three seasons are great, and so his other, inexplicably less popular show American Dad. But the man is willfully shitting turds in the American public’s mouth on a weekly basis. I haven’t even gotten to his other atrocity, The Cleveland Show in which a bunch of white dudes tried to make a black sitcom, and created something even more awkward than this. It’s still better than any Tyler perry sitcom, but that’s a pretty low bar.
For all of Seth MacFarlane’s shortcomings, I have to think somewhere, buried deep within his cortex is a tiny little bit of self-awareness. Which is why I plead him to just end this fucking shit already. Do your big last episode where Stewie kills Lois, or the entire family cooks and eats Meg. Fuck it, why not just find a 22-minute Conway Twitty clip and play that. Whatever you do just get it over, and start fucking up The Flinstones like you really want to.