In an incredibly moronic and depressingly regressive move last week, Georgia’s school superintendent, the idiot Kathy Cox, proposed the removal of the word “evolution” from the science curriculum for her entire stupid state. The move would place Georgia among the ranks as such other retarded states as Florida, Kansas, Illinois, Oklahoma, Mississippi, Tenesee and Kentucky—the “Axis of Stupid,” as it is known in the offices of The BEAST.
In fact, the Axis of Stupid has been shrinking, inexplicably, with normally dumb states like Alabama, Kansas, Ohio, and West Virginia bringing evolution back to their painfully inadequate educational systems, after sending the spoilsport theory packing not so long ago. Will Georgia help to lower the bar once again for the rest of our dumb nation? We hope not, of course, but suspect that our hopes will be dashed. Frankly, we were surprised to learn that other intellect-challenged, progress-inhibiting states like Texas, Louisiana, and Arkansas were not already full-fledged members of the pinheaded cabal, each still containing references to evolution in their curricula.
The silly thing about the change, which will be voted on in May, is its truly pointless nature, in that the offensive word is simply replaced by its very definition, “biological changes over time.” Unless Cox is referring to puberty or menopause, what’s the diff? This ridiculous semantic masturbation can only be a product of denial, the denial of a concept so obviously true that it hurts the ears of those who deny it. In a similar cave-in to pathetic religious denial, Cox has also deleted statements about the age of the earth, and human reproduction, or as brainwashed dunderheads like her call it, “original sin.”
Evolution-deniers argue that Creationism, now under the guise of “The Theory of Intelligent Design,” is a ‘competing theory.’ OK, let me get this straight: if I say that the universe, including the earth and all of us, was pooped out by some giant dog, say, a schnauzer, would that be a ‘competing theory?’ No? Well, what if a whole bunch of dipshits agreed with me? Think about it: the dog poop theory carries as much scientific validity as creationism.
Cox knows this deep down, as all bible-thumping assheads do. It’s the basic denial of fundamentally obvious truths that drives all devoutly religious people insane eventually. It just isn’t healthy to cultivate the habitual denial required to believe in a literal interpretation of the bible.
Take the case of Tennessee, where the mentally defective Blount County Board of Education voted 6-1 to reject three biology textbooks last year because they didn’t include creationism. The only thing a biology textbook should say about creationism is that it is Board member Mike Treadway cited “overwhelming references to evolution” which make him “uncomfortable.” Fellow imbecile Jean Simerly said, “I do not believe that we evolved from anything other than human beings.” Devolved is more like it.
Conservative Christians embrace a pathological level of denial, and develop an ability to tune out unpleasant facts that contradict their beliefs. Of course, it’s tough to keep up, and they’d rather just make offensive truths go away, as Cox is attempting here. Imagine Bob Dole proposing legislation to remove the phrase “Erectile Dysfunction” from the language, because it rubs him the wrong way. Perhaps Bush will push the removal of “deserter.”
We are not helping people when we ‘protect’ them from reality. The reality here is that religious wing-nuts, no matter how many of them there are, are just wrong, wronger than a barbed-wire jockstrap. Evolution’s validity is as plain as the nose on your face, whatever climate it may be adapted to. I would love to hear a church-drone like Cox attempt to explain how she got her appendix, or why God gave her wisdom teeth. The ironic thing about these ‘Intelligent Design’ idiots is that they are themselves the best available evidence that we are evolved from ape-like creatures, incapable of higher reasoning. Perhaps contemptible asses like Kathy Cox are simply throwbacks to our tree-climbing ancestors, and are therefore not to blame for their inability to perceive the totally obvious (‘Monkey Trial,” indeed). Then again, maybe she’s just a fucking stupid idiot.
An interesting fact about the AP article, by Doug Gross, that most of the facts of this piece are taken from: it equates antievolutionism and republican party membership. Gross identifies Cox as a republican, and quotes “social conservative” Rep. Bobby Franklin, “a republican.” The only person in the article who is identified as a Christian is Jimmy Carter, who lays into Cox something fierce, clearly coming down in favor of logic. Everyone else’s opinion is indicated by party. Is this what it means now to be a republican? Obviously, it has nothing to do with fiscal conservation, since Bush is spending money like a drunken sailor. Apparently, the rejection of science and the endorsement of religious fundamentalism are what the elephant signifies these days. I guess it makes sense, with an ignorant born-again in the White House, who ignores science on a daily basis regarding environmental issues. Now I’m not a big fan of the conservative agenda in general, but I hope it bothers at least some of you on the right that your party has come to embody a horrific celebration of such ignorance. I hope so, but I doubt it.