"Totally coup, yo."

Hampton Comes Alive!





Like all y’all, I wanted to know why the hell my February 2009 issue of The Beast had not arrived. I dig that the January issue came out late. I accepted the fact that it takes time to put together such a righteously fine list of loathsome motherfuckers. The 50 Most Loathsome Americans of 2008 was worth waiting for, you know what I mean? Nevertheless, I didn’t expect to be waiting more than four weeks for the next issue to come out. Now they tell me that there ain’t gonna be no February issue and they’re gonna skip right on to March. So, because they’re a bunch of pussies, they asked me to apologize on their behalf and to kind of break down the why of it for y’all.

While I don’t actually have to pay for a subscription up here in heaven, I’ve been told that you motherfuckers that do pay for your subscriptions will still get the ones that are coming to you, that is the number you paid for. As for what’s up with this missing an issue shit it breaks down like this:

Fact is, The Beast didn’t put out an issue for February because like the rest of you motherfuckers they’re a bunch of cowards. You dig? Part ‘cause February is black history month, combined with every other motherfucker in the country thinking that because the new president is a black dude that somehow things are going to be different. Hope and change and all that motherfucking bullshit. The Beast motherfuckers can’t face the fact that in times like these it’s necessary to tell it like it motherfucking is.

The way it is, is this: The oppressor’s skin color might have changed, but the oppressor is still the oppressor. It makes no motherfucking sense to pin your hopes and dreams on the fact that the person you elected is the same color as you or the same sex as you for that matter. You dig?

It’s like this: The Chicago pigs murdered me in my sleep almost 40 years ago. You know why? Because I had guts and I talked the revolutionary talk and walked the revolutionary walk. Many times before they killed me, I said that they can kill the revolutionary but they can’t kill the revolution. I was wrong. There is nothing revolutionary about America today. And that’s a motherfucking shame.

The Beast was not able to put out a February issue because they didn’t know how to deal with a negro president that has got most of the country eating out of his hand. They needed more time to get their shit together. Most motherfuckers can’t see that Obama is the new head of the empire’s management team. He’s assured congress that their real constituents, the people on Wall Street and the big corporations, are the ones that will really be taken care of and his tiresome speech is just a show that ensures that the ignorant American peasant will be sufficiently anesthetized with lies so as not to be causing any trouble.

That’s the way it is with this whole Obama thing. Yeah, he’s black but what does that do if there’s no way for people to figure out why things are the way they are here? You see, the struggle depends on the education thing, you dig? ‘Cause everything you promise to people about a better life you can do with no education. You can form this welfare program and that health care reform program and this jobs program and the other things and you can form it all with no education. But that don’t mean shit.

Papa Doc in Haiti hated everything white. Man, you couldn’t put a white piece of paper in front of Papa Doc’s face. So he moved all the white people out and he took over being the oppressor, you dig? Cause there was no education. If the people had been educated they’d have said, “We don’t hate the motherfucking white people; we hate the oppressor, whether he be white, black, brown or yellow!” So we got to know the people will have real educational programs that will help them find out whether there’s going to be a bunch of fanatics leading them down the road to slavery.

A lot of people know how it works. They might say they are revolutionaries, but after they take power they become ex-revolutionaries. Same as Papa Doc, or Mugabe, or whoever. They brought about a successful revolution. The things they go through and shit are serious, like with the Bantu freedom fighters and all that kind of thing. It don’t mean shit if you don’t know what it’s supposed to be like in the end.

That’s what we‘re talking about, that’s what’s a revolutionary. So what we got to understand here is that the educational program is one where you have to be able figure out whether you’re going to go along the right lines. To know where the people will end up in a situation where they can be able to really control themselves. You understand what I’m saying? With no education, the people will take this program or that program and start stealing money, because they won’t really be educated. They won’t be wise to the whole people’s thing. You know what I’m saying? Because with no education you have neocolonialism instead of colonialism, like you have in Africa now, like you have in Haiti. So what we‘re talking about is there has to be an educational program, that is very important. Why? Because if they don’t have education, then they’re nowhere. You dig what I’m saying? They’re nowhere because they don’t even know why they are doing what they’re doing. You might get people caught up in the emotion of this movement. You understand me? You might get caught up in it because they are poor and they want something. And then if they’re not educated they want more and before you know it they’ll be capitalists and before you know it we’ll have Negro imperialists like President Obama. So good luck dealing with that you Beast motherfuckers.

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