Just Don’t Look
It didn’t take long.
A little less than a day after hearing about the tragic shooting at a showing of The Dark Knight Rises in Aurora, Colorado, I would find the first article about the Westboro Baptist Church picketing the funerals of the victims. If you don’t know by now, the WBC are a pimple on society’s ass that dedicates their entire existence to making sure we all know just how much God hates gay people. They do this by picketing the funerals of soldiers, shooting victims, and just about anywhere else where people are likely to pay attention to them.
They are firmly in the running for the title of Most Disgusting People On The Planet.
When I heard the news that they were planning yet another funeral picket, I was all set to go through my usual routine; get really mad and horrified that people like this exist, listen to some Slayer to get over it, then eventually calm down and eat a bag of pizza rolls. Just as I was really starting to rage, a thought crossed my mind.
Why do I give two flying fucks about these people?
Hell, why does anyone? Can anyone think of an honest reason why the Westboro Baptist Church continues to be relevant? We all know who they are, and what they do. We also know that they are awful people devoid of anything resembling human decency. We’ve known that for over a decade now.
So, why are we still paying attention?
The best way to rid ourselves from the WBC once and for all is to heed the advice of Paul Anka and Lisa Simpson: just don’t look. When Springfield was invaded by giant animatronic advertisements in Treehouse of Horror VI, the town simply averted their eyes, and the monsters quickly lost their power. The same thing can happen with Westboro. If we stop giving them the satisfaction of whipping ourselves into a frenzy of outrage every time they start their bullshit routine, they’ll eventually go away. And even if they don’t, no one will care, because no one will be talking about them.
Since I’m sure someone will eventually say “but John, you’re talking about them now,” I’m going to make a pledge: as long as I am a writer, I will never, under any circumstances mention these assclowns again. As of the end of this article, they are persona non grata to me.
Let’s keep in mind, no matter how homophobic America still is, very few people actually agree with these people. They have no influence whatsoever. Even Fox Fucking News thinks they’re deplorable. They have no place at the table of American political discussion. As such, their idiotic antics should not be the slightest bit relevant.
Also, their act has really gotten a bit old. We get it; you’re the dipshits who hold up signs at funerals. It doesn’t have the same impact it used to. Like when Marilyn Manson wrote his ten trillionth song about how he wasn’t popular in high school, and he isn’t particularly fond of Christianity, and all the people who were shocked by him just kinda said “yeah, ok, we get it.” That’s what we need to do with the WBC.
America may be a flawed nation, but we are strong enough to ignore the bile being spewed by these cretins. The next time I hear a WBC member prattling on about how we’re all going to hell for allowing “Project Runway” to happen, I’m just going to say “yeah, whatever” and put something else on. I strongly encourage you all to do the same. The only way we can defeat this menace is to stop giving it the attention it so desperately craves.