"Totally coup, yo."

Murphy's Law 3.5

Aug

29

by

The pretrial conference: WWJD?
(Now with partial arrest video!)

For a full primer on what the hell’s happening here read these:

For the “tl;dr” internet infidels, here’s the cheat sheet:

  • I was arrested for filming a cop; they erased our camera footage.
  • The police then invented fictional charges (including a fake complainant named “Sony”). Seriously.
  • Arresting officer Donna Donovan was too stupid to find the pretrial courtroom.
  • A mysterious “Cheap Throat” leaks police document, explaining discrepancies between the police report and the press reports (full disclosure: may or may not be partially fictionalized to protect my sources).

This time, officer Donna Donovan found the right courtroom. She was out of uniform, wearing a frumpy, black dress, too much makeup and a silver crucifix necklace. She smiled at me broadly, like a good Christian, as she and her lawyer met me, Fallon and the DA’s substitute in front of Judge Eagan. It’s rare for cops to bring their own lawyer to court. It means that Donovan’s rightly squirming. I smiled back.

The DA sub looked over her papers briefly and offered a deal: plead guilty to disorderly conduct, the other charges go away, and I serve a maximum 15 days in jail. Fallon offered an alternative: drop all the charges and apologize. This elicited a breathy chuckle from the DA sub, Donovan and her lawyer. They declined our generous offer, the motions hearing is set for September 28th, and it’s a jury of my peers after that.

The DA sub tried to claim that I wasn’t entitled to a jury trial. But I am because I’ve been accused of committing a Class A Misdemeanor, § 240.21: “Disrupting a Religious Service”. Due to the bullshit nature of the case, I presume the DA sub was hoping to avoid a jury. My peers are poor, often hassled by the cops for no reason, and likely to empathize with me. Judge Eagan, on the other hand, is a Catholic and the former president of something called the Home School Association. She’s also running in an election right now (some guy has her sign up in his lawn two houses down from mine). So who knows what kind of “I’m tough on atheist dildo-wavers” bullshit she might pull to endear herself to values voters.

But, I’m being paranoid, right? I was mocked for my atheism while in police custody, the presiding judge is a home schooling advocate and my arresting officer was sporting a tiny, Roman torture devise around her neck. It’s nothing. There’s no way I’m being persecuted, for religious or political purposes.

So that’s the score, kiddos. Not much else to report. Fallon’s filed a Freedom of Information letter with the powers that be, so we can get the Niagara Square police security footage, and get a look at the National Organization for Marriage’s permit. NOM is a 501 (C) (4), not a religious organization, and their little protest was a political one — a rallying cry against the rights of homosexuals to get married.  There was definitely a hypocritical religious vibe, though. I bet most of these people think God sent Irene to NYC because of teh gays.

Before pontificating — at some later point — on America’s Dickensian legal system, I’ve got some video to show you. I hesitate to do this, as I wanted to recover all the footage before releasing any, but I also want Donovan to squirm even more than she is now. Through cheap & easy methods, BEAST Science Team #1 was able to recover everything save for the first half of my arrest video.

This is Donna Donovan freaking out and going after Bunting:

And here’s the second half of the arrest clip:

The missing half is basically the same as the first video — except that it’s me instead of Bunting, and she actually arrests me. BEAST Science Team #2 (from New Zealand) is currently poring over millions of 0s & 1s to recover the missing footage. It may be recovered; it may not.

So, yeah, there you go. You’ll know more as I do.

  • malachi

    Ian, a federal appeals court has just ruled on filming cops in public (definitely in your favor) – http://www.universalhub.com/2011/court-says-state-law-banning-recording-police-offi

    Granted, your case is probably different as it seems like they are going specifically for the misdemeanor and pretending like the filming wasn’t an issue. But given the facts surrounding the case (i.e. it WAS about you filming cops and the misdemeanor charge is a convenience), maybe this ruling could get your case some needed national attention.

  • admin

    Malachi,
    Yeah, I saw that. Unlike Massachusetts, New York never had any such law. But to clarify, the misdemeanor charge isn’t a convenience, it’s a total fabrication.

  • Mike

    Fuck this stupid cunt and fuck the police, period.

    That is all.

  • Tabitha

    They were in a public place, where one can have no reasonable expectation of privacy. I hope these people will be punished for this, and I’m sorry you had to go through that. Hopefully this will prevent it happening in the future.

  • DZ

    Not only are you going to be acquitted of the criminal charge(s), but you’ve got a damn solid case for a civil suit against the department.

  • http://www.bobpaulphoto.com bobby p

    Where are you located? This makes me really upset…

  • admin

    Riordan,
    Actually it’s my word, the word of about 7 witnesses, the Niagara Square security footage (we’re getting through FOI), and our video footage we’re working to recover vs. Donovan’s word. Just sayin’.

  • http://youtu.be/UuQRfopT7_c joe Dixon

    Do you think this has already gone too far or that they will drop the charges before the trial? Apart from being court ordered, cops never apologize for anything but they might just want to drop this if only to avoid the headache.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      I think if anything they’d have dropped the misdemeanor charge in order to make sure it goes in front of a judge instead of a jury. But they didn’t, so I kinda doubt they will now.

  • robert

    fuck the police in general, but officer donna is not photogenic.

  • Mordecai Christi

    If anyone needs to be taped, its the people who have Leviathanian power to physically arrest a free-being’s person, to transport them against any sane will in a demeaning fashion, to then be holed-up and locked in a pen – a direct physical metaphor for metaphysical tyranny and injustice.

    So, her insecurities, and the fact that the person holding the camera was not her naked and sweaty ‘Uncle Pete’ obviously set off some shame-triggers.*

    There are plenty of good officers out there, with a good stable solid mentality, and a real keen thirst for order and kindness. They do exist. But it obvious when a person steps away from that lineage of dutiful utility and hoggishly-wanders-into the territory of terrorist-dictator with a badge.

    Well, this was just to get that out there, off of my chest. You know better than anyone, Ian, in this moment the doggerel-injustices being played out (Act 3.5 now, soon for the interlude) here in high and pathetic dramatics.

    The best that can come from this is the opportunity to raise real-awareness using the Beast’s combined biting wit and progressive (or just sane, mostly) insight to make some actual and good change.
    This abuse of power should be met with the harshest of social admonishments.

    1) Get free.
    2) Stay free. (with wings).
    3) Raise awareness, pass legislation, etc
    4) Demand that Donovan replace your fries with onion rings.
    5) head back to creation museum and prove God does not exist.
    6) eat more onion rings, call it a day.

    p.s. It is quite obvious that Officer Donovan wants to ride the Dougie express. Indeed, it is her only option, a la Darwinian dictations of suitable mates. Hug that ho like a foam di-no!*

    *These false statements are intended as facts.**

    **Not intended to be projected or perceived as fact(s).

  • robert van bakel

    Christian judge bucking for election ay? Well, maybe she’s a judge Jones like charachter. Judge Jones fried Intelligent Design in the Kitzmiller v. Dover Area Schoolboard case, and he was a Bush appointed, Methodist tea-totaller apparently. Whip that Kiwi ass to get the video back:)

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