The pretrial conference: WWJD?
(Now with partial arrest video!)
For a full primer on what the hell’s happening here read these:
For the “tl;dr” internet infidels, here’s the cheat sheet:
- I was arrested for filming a cop; they erased our camera footage.
- The police then invented fictional charges (including a fake complainant named “Sony”). Seriously.
- Arresting officer Donna Donovan was too stupid to find the pretrial courtroom.
- A mysterious “Cheap Throat” leaks police document, explaining discrepancies between the police report and the press reports (full disclosure: may or may not be partially fictionalized to protect my sources).
This time, officer Donna Donovan found the right courtroom. She was out of uniform, wearing a frumpy, black dress, too much makeup and a silver crucifix necklace. She smiled at me broadly, like a good Christian, as she and her lawyer met me, Fallon and the DA’s substitute in front of Judge Eagan. It’s rare for cops to bring their own lawyer to court. It means that Donovan’s rightly squirming. I smiled back.
The DA sub looked over her papers briefly and offered a deal: plead guilty to disorderly conduct, the other charges go away, and I serve a maximum 15 days in jail. Fallon offered an alternative: drop all the charges and apologize. This elicited a breathy chuckle from the DA sub, Donovan and her lawyer. They declined our generous offer, the motions hearing is set for September 28th, and it’s a jury of my peers after that.
The DA sub tried to claim that I wasn’t entitled to a jury trial. But I am because I’ve been accused of committing a Class A Misdemeanor, § 240.21: “Disrupting a Religious Service”. Due to the bullshit nature of the case, I presume the DA sub was hoping to avoid a jury. My peers are poor, often hassled by the cops for no reason, and likely to empathize with me. Judge Eagan, on the other hand, is a Catholic and the former president of something called the Home School Association. She’s also running in an election right now (some guy has her sign up in his lawn two houses down from mine). So who knows what kind of “I’m tough on atheist dildo-wavers” bullshit she might pull to endear herself to values voters.
But, I’m being paranoid, right? I was mocked for my atheism while in police custody, the presiding judge is a home schooling advocate and my arresting officer was sporting a tiny, Roman torture devise around her neck. It’s nothing. There’s no way I’m being persecuted, for religious or political purposes.
So that’s the score, kiddos. Not much else to report. Fallon’s filed a Freedom of Information letter with the powers that be, so we can get the Niagara Square police security footage, and get a look at the National Organization for Marriage’s permit. NOM is a 501 (C) (4), not a religious organization, and their little protest was a political one — a rallying cry against the rights of homosexuals to get married. There was definitely a hypocritical religious vibe, though. I bet most of these people think God sent Irene to NYC because of teh gays.
Before pontificating — at some later point — on America’s Dickensian legal system, I’ve got some video to show you. I hesitate to do this, as I wanted to recover all the footage before releasing any, but I also want Donovan to squirm even more than she is now. Through cheap & easy methods, BEAST Science Team #1 was able to recover everything save for the first half of my arrest video.
This is Donna Donovan freaking out and going after Bunting:
And here’s the second half of the arrest clip:
The missing half is basically the same as the first video — except that it’s me instead of Bunting, and she actually arrests me. BEAST Science Team #2 (from New Zealand) is currently poring over millions of 0s & 1s to recover the missing footage. It may be recovered; it may not.
So, yeah, there you go. You’ll know more as I do.