BEAST Editor’s Trial Begins Wednesday, May 16th
The first thing I’m going to do in jail is break a dude’s face. Just wreck it. Savage dentistry. Picasso nose. Blood fountain. According to MSNBC’s horrific weekend programming, that’s what I need to do to gain respect. And it probably won’t hurt to constantly mumble to myself about wanting to “get my knife wet.” But prison won’t be all bad. Right? Many fine books have been written in the clink. Maybe I’ll finally quit smoking and get in shape. Or maybe I’ll get shived from behind and bleed out on the shower floor.
Hopefully, I won’t go to jail at all, but being charged with “disrupting a religious service” (a misdemeanor with a potential one year in jail) makes a guy worry. This supposed “religious service,” which is clearly labelled as a rally on the Buffalo city event permit, was a National Organization for Marriage anti-gay rights protest on the steps of City Hall last July. The other charges against me are disorderly conduct.
Originally, I was charged with a count of harassment, too, for filming a police officer. But once the idiots prosecuting this case realized that it’s not illegal to film a cop, they dropped it, and replaced it with fantastical claims that I was shoving people and knocking bibles out of their hands. The Judge, a former president of a Christian homeschooling outfit, didn’t see any problem with that.
I was causing zero trouble (as all my witnesses will testify to), I pointed my camera at Buffalo Police Officer Donna Donovan, and she arrested me for no reason. This was after she’d already warned my BEAST comrade Josh Bunting not to film her, slapped the camera away from his face, and stomped on his foot:
So when I trained the camera on Donovan, she didn’t take it well. The police confiscated the camera and erased our footage. Once we finally got it back, we were able to recover most of the items on the hard drive. It’s my theory that while they were giving us the runaround, pointing us toward one precinct then the next, they were doing a more competent erasure of the most important bits. The final clip shot that day starts with the sound of cuffs, meaning they erased the first half. A man says, “You can’t arrest him for taking video!” Donovan replies, “Yes, you can; it’s called ‘disorderly.’”
I’m a little shocked this is going to trial. I could have pled out, but fuck that, I didn’t do anything. A couple NOM hatemongers have come forward with lies for the prosecution, but how a jury could hear Donovan actually say she’s arresting me for videotaping her, and not find me innocent, is really beyond me. But, you know, the BPD has to at least try to construct a flimsy case against me to try to stymie my forthcoming law suit. That should be pretty sweet.
Jury selection starts Wednesday at 9am, and the prosecution likely won’t begin totally lying about me until after lunch, so if you’re going to be near the courthouse around then, stop on by. It should be fairly entertaining.