"Totally coup, yo."

Murphy's Law VIII




Cop lies under oath, though says she arrested me for legal activities, and claims she thought our camera might have been a gun. Seriously. A gun!

“The straw that broke the camel’s back was that he called us ‘assholes.’”
-Arresting officer Donna Donovan

“Is that illegal?”
-My lawyer, Paul Fallon


So this case just keeps getting more and more ridiculous. I’d say I’d be surprised if the case wasn’t dismissed after the prosecution finishes presenting its “evidence,” but seeing as this nonsense has gotten this far, I’ve learned to expect the worst. We’ll move for a dismissal after the prosecution’s done, and if the judge’s paying even a little bit of attention she should throw this case into the trash. But she’s inexplicably let it get this far, so why stop the fun now?

Before opening statements began, Assistant District Attorney Patrick Swanson requested a meeting with Fallon in the judge’s chambers. I don’t know what he thought should happen, but he complained that I’d written about the previous day’s jury selection. Perhaps he wanted me flogged. In that post, I’d facetiously addressed the members of the jury, and it was his contention that that was tantamount to communication. The judge told him to STFU, but instructed the jury not to read The BEAST again.

“Every part of every day — when you wake up in the morning, there are rules that you follow…there are lines you don’t cross,” Swanson told the jury. “The evidence is going to clearly show that Mr. Murphy crossed those lines.” The ADA conflates etiquette and family obligations with the law. That’s his whole case. I’m a jerk. I don’t follow the rules of polite society. It’s his only hope that the jurors are puritanical fools, who’ll lock me up, for being a round peg in this square North American wilderness. As Fallon put it to me, I’m guilty of talking in church. Although the jury should take note that the National Organization for Marriage is a 501 (c)(4) political group. And on July 24, 2011, they organized a statewide “rally,” as it’s labeled on the Buffalo City permit, to pressure lawmakers to hate gays as much as they do. So it wasn’t church, per se, but it’s the same basic fairy tales justifying oppression.

Swanson went on in this vein, with no surprises save for one: the lawyer who they found to lie about my activities that day, one Roland “Rolly” Cercone, is going to testify that he saw me not merely brandishing the dildophone, which I readily admit to using for an approximately 30 second interview, but that I was sucking on it, holding it at my groin, and using it to fake-fuck people. Yup. I don’t even. It was mighty difficult not to yell, “Bullshit!” But I stayed incredulously quiet. I deserve a fucking award.

Incredible, I thought. No wait, I mean uncredible. Swanson told the jury that “Rolly’s” going to testify to seeing me do these things in Niagara Square. This is the large, circular median across the street from Buffalo’s City Hall. So according to Swanson, Rolly was on the steps of City Hall with the other NOM-tards — 100 feet away from me. And according to the later testimony of two cops, they were about 10 feet away from me in Niagara Square, and they say they didn’t see the dildo at all.

This inconsistency is troubling for a few reasons. For one, it clearly shows Rolly is a lying piece of shit. For two, if these cops are lying about what I did that day, and they are, why not go all in? I just don’t get it. Nor do I get why the original police report says that I had a dildo. Of course, they changed the charges against me between July and October, adding fresh lies, so I guess that’s just not part of the script anymore. Weird. In fact, observing and dissecting their myriad untruths is a bizarre experience. So far, they’ve gone with a tactic of incorporating out of context facts into their testimonies, so it seems somewhat convincing coming out of their mouths. Like some small child, hand caught in the cookie jar, who claims his hand is in the cookie jar to protect the cookies from thieves. For instance, I did call Donna Donovan an asshole — after she’d arrested me, called me a homosexual with a persecution complex, and her cop buddy intimated that he was going to smash my head against a brick wall. But more on that later.

Then it was Fallon’s turn — to ostensibly embarrass me by telling the jury that I’m a spaz, a weirdo, a round peg in a square world. But his point was solid: being strange is not a crime. If it were, I’d have been locked up long ago. He shows the jury the video of Donovan knocking the camera down from Bunting’s face. My other lawyer, who appeared out of nowhere like some righteous superhero, and whom I don’t really know, says the video is gold. “Mr. Murphy has vehemently defended his innocence,” said Fallon, “But he doesn’t have to prove that. He doesn’t have to prove anything.” The burden of proof is on the prosecution. And they have fuck all.

The first witness the prosecution calls to the stand is arresting officer Donna Donovan. She swears to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help her God. Hand on the bible, like that means something. I find it insulting that people are allowed to affirm their supposed honesty by swearing on a thing that doesn’t exist. Hey, but that’s me. Hopefully, my request to be sworn in over a can of spaghetti will be allowed. “May his noodly appendage touch you.”

Anyway, it’s Donovan’s assertion that I was one of an unknown number of counter-protesters who’d been standing on the steps of City Hall among the NOM-tards. I was not. And if the judge allows the slew of Facebook photos and televised news accounts into evidence, this should be easily disproved. But getting things submitted into evidence is a slightly tricky matter, which is left to the whims of the judge. A lawyer needs to create a “foundation” for why evidence is relevant. In this instance, it seems clearly relevant, but, again, who goddamn knows what the judge will rule. It’s arbitrary.

She tells Swanson that I was “inciting people.” Whatever that means. I’m a big mean ol’ meanie – is the gist.

Cross examination.

Donovan claims I was “essentially giving the [NOM-tards] a hard time,” so I was removed from the steps of City Hall and walked across the street to Niagara Square. This “hard time” includes me reportedly knocking a bible out of someone’s hand. Who? It’s a mystery. How many counter-protesters were there? No idea. She basically has no memory of what happened that day — except for everything I was purportedly doing. She said she saw this bible incident happen, but was willing to give me the benefit of the doubt. It could have been an accident, she says. Between July and October, she decided it was not an accident, and the revamped charges reflect that decision. “He said [counter-protesting] wasn’t against the law,” she said, rolling her eyes, disdainful of our Constitutional right to free speech. “He could voice his opinion.” Yada yada. So, for some reason, she lied about what I did and where I was — yet paints a picture of a guy doing nothing illegal. I just don’t get it. Even if the jury believes her every word, and looking at their faces I would say they definitely did not, I’m just a guy who was engaged in free speech. No matter how much you roll your eyes, it ain’t illegal, lady. And if’n you don’t like this country, you can get out!

Fallon had a moment of pure brilliance. To show the jury that the July charges and the October charges are inconsistent, contradictory, and that Donovan can’t keep her lies straight, he pulled what you would call a “fast one.” Slowly walking toward the witness stand, he handed her a sheet of paper. “I’ll ask you to look at what’s been marked as Defendant’s Exhibit D.” She reviews the document and indicates that she’s familiar with it – the list of false charges against me. “What day did you prepare that document?” he asks.

“The day of [the arrest],” she says.

“Look again,” Fallon says, casually, pivoting away from her, removing his glasses. It was smooth as shit. The Defendant’s Exhibit D is dated October.

She looks at Swanson with panic.

“Don’t look at him!” Fallon scoffs. “He can’t help you!”

“Objection!” cries Swanson. The lawyers have a sidebar. The issue is whether or not we can use the initial charges to demonstrate how foul this whole thing smells. By way of Donovan, who shoots me a shit-eating grin, I learn that we can’t – for now. Doesn’t seem exactly fair to me. But what do I know? I’m just a free speech maniac who couldn’t stop my “mouth running.” Seriously, this is their case. I am guilty of talking loudly– and that’s if you believe everything they say.

Cross examination goes on for hours, as Fallon grills all the inconsistencies out of Donovan. It’s truly fun watching her squirm. Even with the volume off, she’s obviously lying. It’s all over her pig face. And I don’t mean her cop face. She looks remarkably like a pig. Unless every juror is Rain Man, they no doubt picked up on her tells. Fallon starts in with the camera, and Donovan turns the ridiculousness up to eleven.

Sidebar, dear readers: I have a small bladder. This has always been the case. I wet the bed until I was 8. My mom, bless her heart, thought it would be a good idea to buy me electric sheets. They didn’t shock me or anything, but as soon as the smallest amount of liquid touched the metallic fabric, an apocalyptic alarm would sound. “BEEEEP! BEEEEP! BEEEEP!” It woke up my entire family. My sister would stroll in, sleep in her eyes, just to mock me. I guess the idea was to condition me with pure shame. And it worked. But to this day, I can’t hear a truck backing up without feeling the simultaneous urge to both urinate and hold it in. It’s very uncomfortable. “You better be going somewhere with this, Mr. Murphy,” you’re probably thinking. I’m not, really, but frequent urination has always been an issue with me. It’s part of the reason I hated school so much. It’s fundamentally degrading to need permission to empty one’s bladder. And so it is in court. I’m a grown-ass-man! If I have to piss, I should be able to stand up and walk to the bathroom. But you can’t do that. You have to wait until the judge needs a leak. So for most of this trial, I’ve been, and will be, uncomfortable. And kind of resentful. Boo-hoo, right? Poor Murphy needs a piss. Look, I know this whole experience has been unpleasant, but I also know how relatively lucky I am. First of all, I’m white. In the American “justice” system, this is always a plus. Secondly, BEAST publisher Paul Fallon is my lawyer for free. Of course, this means he needs to sacrifice other paying legal work, so I’ll be taking a pay cut during this whole thing (which hardly seems possible). Ahem…

Fallon’s invested in the outcome of the case. He’s not just some jaded public defender who no longer gives a shit. Thirdly, I now have a second lawyer for free, as I mentioned. He’s called Daire Irwin. Cool name, huh? He probably won’t be thrilled that I chose to out him in this piss-related side-rant, but he’s a righteous dude, and he has more trial experience than Fallon, so that’s good for me. Anyway, the point here is that I pee a lot. And I’m lucky. Now back to “Law and Order: Special Dildo Unit.”

So, yeah, just when I thought Donovan couldn’t be more full of shit, she proved me spectacularly wrong. Despite the video evidence, she says that she never once touched our camera. “Let me refresh your memory,” Fallon says, booting up his laptop. (Incidentally, we had to bring in our own flat screen because the ancient TV in the courtroom is only set up to play VHS.) He plays the video of her slapping the camera down from Bunting’s face. She insists she didn’t do exactly what the jury just witnessed. I’m no body language expert, but several of the jurors wore an expression that screamed, “Bitch?!”

Her next hilarious yarn is that I wasn’t holding the video camera when she arrested me. It’s interesting to think about our memories. They’re so easily warped by this or that – especially over time. While some of the things Donovan says are barefaced lies, I’m willing to give her the benefit of the doubt, too. It’s possible that she really thinks some things happened the way she says they did because she’s convinced herself of it after the fact. Our brains suck like that some times. But this is another evident lie. As she was putting the cuffs around my right wrist that fateful day, my first thought was that they’re going to erase the video camera. And sure enough they did. They’d be incredible fools not to. So as she was cuffing me and guiding my right arm behind my back, I was holding out the camera with my left, and frantically beckoning, “Josh! Josh!” Typically, the lumbering lad was slow to respond while Donovan was trying her hardest to bring my left arm behind my back. When it became apparent that I’m something like a hundred times stronger than her, she started slapping my hand, trying to knock the camera to the ground. Frankly, I don’t understand why they didn’t throw “resisting arresting” into the bullshit mix. Because I did resist. A little. I didn’t want the evidence destroyed. Bunting eventually grabbed the camera, and I was led on my little perp-walk. Now remember, while we were able to recover most of the erased video, the cops took extra care to permanently delete the first half of the last clip we shot that day – that is, the bit where Donovan arrested me for filming her. So the video we have starts, I think, right after I handed the camera off to Josh. You can hear the sound of cuffs, and then Lieutenant Lark approaches Josh. She says she’s not going to confiscate the camera, but she does want to hold it. Donovan says it’s my property. I say it belongs to Josh (technically, it’s the BEAST’s camera). She then hands it off to Donovan, another cop, or takes it herself to the squad car. The last bit of film shows the side of a cop car. Donovan claims that the “property” in question, because the camera is pointing at the ground this whole time, was a black duffel bag. I wouldn’t call my camera bag a “duffel bag,” but let’s not pick nits. And the reason Donovan gives for ultimately confiscating the camera (and never mind that if they were discussing my “duffel bag,” and said they weren’t going to confiscate it, why did they confiscate it?) was that she wanted to make sure my stuff was safe. Aw, how pretend nice of her. She fake cares, dammit!

Now we get into the hilarious meat of the camera stuff. Donovan claims that she repeatedly told us to stop filming her. “Is that illegal?” asks Fallon.

“No,” she says. “But I don’t want anything pointed at me. That’s just the way it is.” I was too stunned to get verbatim quotes here, but then she says that we were in her personal space, and she was worried that the camera might be a gun. A GUN! “You don’t know how people hide things,” she says, somehow not laughing.

So you thought the camera might be a gun?” Fallon chuckles. “And you said, ‘I don’t want my picture taken?’” She didn’t have an answer.

Cross examination continues, and her damning testimony is that I was being loud. “What was the straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak?” asks Fallon. “Why did you arrest him?”

“The straw that broke the camel’s back was that he called us ‘assholes.’”

“Is that illegal?”

“No.” She says that she didn’t mind either. She has “thick skin.” But the other people present shouldn’t have to put up with my “nonsense.” Way to protect people from my fictitious swearing. That’s your tax dollars at work, New York. The politeness police. It was worth arresting me, she says, because the NOM-tards were praying at the time — Our Father, to be exact. And she went to Catholic school, so she knows what prayer is, and anytime someone prays it magically turns the vicinity into a “religious service.” Again, it was a political event, and the permit reads “rally,” but you really can’t argue with someone who attended a Catholic high school. They just know these kinds of things — like how to get cum stains off of plaid skirts.

Anyway, we eventually let her get off the stand, but Fallon requested the right to recall her at a later date. That’s cool, says Judge Eagan. Donovan rolls her eyes like a spoiled teenager whose life is SO UNFAIR! It probably is tiring lying for hours on end, so I can sympathize.

Next on the stand was Baldy Cop. That’s what my notes read. His real name is Paul Sobkowiak. He’s not as much of a relentless prick as Donovan. He was visibly uncomfortable telling his little white lies. They really weren’t that bad, truly, but he was biting his lower lip, and generally looking guilty.

Sidebar, dear readers! Uthman and I (you remember Uthman, right? The BEAST’s former editor who retired to pursue a career in rock-n-roll) went out to the Old Pink on Allen Street this weekend. It’s Buffalo’s classic dive bar. They don’t get any better/worse. Anywho, a homeless guy I’ve known for years hit us up for cash while we were outside smoking. Wilbert is his name. We met about a decade ago when he was panhandling not a hundred feet from the Old Stink (some call it that because – especially in the daytime – it smells like puke), and I proposed a hobo challenge: we would both climb a nearby tree, and if he got higher than I did, I would give him everything I had on me. He’s a spry older guy, for a crackhead. He got pretty damn high — on the tree, that is. When it was my turn, I grabbed a branch about halfway up the trunk, tried pulling myself up, and it broke off and smashed my nose. By the time I hit the ground, my face swollen and covered in blood. Being a man of my word, I gave Wilbert my last $23. The crack feast was on. And ever since, we’ve had a friendly rapport. Of all the sometimes pushy hobos on Allen, he’s routinely the most pleasant. So we’re standing there, Wilbert’s regaling Uthman with the story of how we met, and a Buffalo police SUV stops. “Get off of Allen!” the cop tells Wilbert.

“He’s OK,” I reply.

“But he’s got some bad habits,” says the cop.

“Who doesn’t?” I reply. It’s not good enough. The poor untouchable is simply not allowed to consort with an upstanding citizen like myself. He moves along. I rant at length about the kind of fascist personality that’s attracted to police work.

“There are some good ones,” some hipster kid offers. And, without knowing really anything about him, I’m willing to say that Sobkowiak is one of the good guys. Relatively, anyway. He also kind of looks like a guy who might burn his wife with a coat hanger for fun, but I try not to judge people on their appearances. There’s the cop code, too. You just cannot snitch on your fellow officers. It’s honorable, in a fucked sort of way. It’s also just practical. You snitch, and you’re an instant pariah. Sobkowiak had this hound dog look on his face, visible contrition. He knew he was doing wrong, but what choice does he have? Anyway, sorry about this rant, but the point here is that I have a really small bladder – wait. And now back to Matlock: The case of the egregious bullshit!

Sobkowiak’s white lies: he was not on the Niagara Square side of the street when the arrest was made, and that I called him a “bigot.” I did not. And he was, as we can prove with photos and video – if the judge thinks that they’re relevant. Aside from that, he wasn’t so bad. He said he didn’t witness me doing anything illegal, and that he never saw the dildo-phone. When court recessed on Thursday, Fallon had just started his cross examination. Court resumes on Tuesday, and I don’t think he’ll interrogate him for very long.

This case is going much slower than I’d anticipated. And this article was much longer than it should have been. Sorry about that. Tuesday should be a blast, though. I hope we get into “Rolly’s” testimony. It might be “Rollie,” but it doesn’t matter. He’s a talking shit-bag. Whatever. The prosecution also plans on calling one Reverend William Gillison from Mount Olive Baptist Church. He’s the one who secured the NOM-tard permit for their political “rally.” He’s also the guy who led the crowd in a chant of “Let the people vote!” That’s NOM-tard language. I have no idea what he’s going to say, but he’s a professional liar, so I guess he’ll come up with something.

Follow me on the Twitters.

  • Paul Curtin

    Wow, you had to dump on public defenders?

  • admin

    Dear Paul,
    No, I didn’t *have* to “dump on public defenders”. Great, now I feel bad about it. I know there are plenty of dedicated public defenders out there. However, have you ever heard of someone choosing a public defender over a lawyer you pay for? Me either. There’s probably a reason for that.

  • Paul Curtin

    Actually, I have. Say hi to Daire and Paul.

  • admin

    Well, that’s good for you and all, seeing as you’re a public defender. As I said, you and others are surely dedicated to providing justice for your clients. But come the fuck on! You know a lot of those dudes are simply running plea algorithms, and specific to my case, Fallon’s doubly invested. Nothing personal, mate. But I gotta say, as long as you keep correcting the forever benighted & embezzling Kent Hovind on message boards, you’re OK in my book! I imagine Daire and Paul say hi back.

  • Paul Curtin

    That’s it!
    They don’t say hi, and they don’t return calls (is it too much to ask?)
    I challange you to a duel!
    Weapons? Your choice, although nothing too gross (I’ve heard about your “microphones”), on second thought, duelling microphones at dawn scans poorly, so choose away!
    And crush them like the post constitutional bugs they are (at trial)…
    As we say in Georgian, not good day, but “Victory to You!”

  • Peter

    Donovan does indeed resemble a pig …I think it’s primarily due to the upturned pig like nose …I’m no lawyer , but if the pig-human takes the stand again , perhaps releasing a young virile robust male pig in the courtroom would distract and confuse her, resulting in even more absurd self damaging testimony. Good luck ! These swine must be kept in check.

  • Alex

    Any public defender in that building would do a better job than the 2 idiots wasting their time on your ridiculous case. Whatever point you are trying to make has been lost on the absolute stupidity you spew. Hopefully the jurors have the slightest bit of common sense, convict you, and you are thanked for wasting the court’s time by enduring a stay at the County Correctional Facility. Good luck!

  • Dave G

    Alex, how exactly is it ridiculous, or a waste of the courts time that Murphy has decided to defend himself? He was arrested at a political rally. It’s not like he’s suing a chain restaurant because their coffee is too hot, or their ice cream is too cold. The arresting officer and other prosecution witnesses have one (or more) account of the events leading to the arrest. Murphy and the defense witnesses have a different account. Ideally, isn’t the point of a trial to find out the truth?

  • http://buffalobeast.com/?tag=caigoy-authors Mike C.

    Judging by Alex the Buffalo DA’s office doesn’t block this site.

  • Alex

    It is a waste of time trying a case, by jury, just to prove you can be an asshole to the police. There must be something more productive this idiot can do!

  • http://buffalobeast.com/?tag=caigoy-authors Mike C.

    It’s a waste of time by the city—trying to make an irrational cop’s abuse of power seem legitimate, even when no actual crime can be identified.

    Maybe Donovan genuinely thought she was right. Ignorance of the law on her part wouldn’t surprise me.

    Given established facts, like the leeway granted to groups like the 70 or so Westboro Baptist imbeciles, who systematically harass people at funeral services, there’s no basis or precedent for recasting a registered political rally (a euphemistic hate rally at that) as a religious service, immune to protest.

    Even then, the satirical venture could hardly be called protest, nor was it any form of misrepresentation (a la O’Queef).

    Only a low rung stooge for the city would punt in comments for the prosecution in such a stupid and pointless case. That’s the best case scenario for you, Alex. Either you’re a paid/interning lout, or worse, just an anti-constitutional, law-humping amateur.

  • Anteprepro

    Alex at 10: “It is a waste of time trying a case, by jury, just to prove you can be an asshole to the police.”

    So, obviously, this case is so easy and obviously in Murphy’s favor that Murphy’s lawyers are just wasting their time because this is like shooting fish in barrel? Because being an “asshole to the police” is not a crime (and also didn’t even happen, but whatever).

    Wait a minute, though. I sense a disturbance…

    Alex at 7: “Any public defender in that building would do a better job than the 2 idiots wasting their time on your ridiculous case. Whatever point you are trying to make has been lost on the absolute stupidity you spew. Hopefully the jurors have the slightest bit of common sense, convict you, and you are thanked for wasting the court’s time by enduring a stay at the County Correctional Facility. ”

    So wait…Murphy’s two lawyers are doing a terrible job and the jurors would convict Murphy if they had “common sense”? And yet in 10, your position seems to be that the lawyers are too good for this case and this case can be trivially resolved Please tell me that the Alex at 10 is a different Alex. Because otherwise Alex is a profoundly stupid human being. No matter how you slice it.

    Stupidity Option A: He thinks “being an asshole to the police” 1. accurately describes the events that happened and 2. is such an obvious crime that it is a waste of time to even have court proceedings to decide whether one is guilty of it. Typical Police State Fanboi.

    Stupidity Option B: He doublethinks that Murphy’s attorneys are both terrible/too good and that this case is obviously in Murphy’s favor/the jury will convict Murphy if they’re smart. Typical RWA.

    Stupidity Option C: He thinks that no one will notice the disconnect between his first and second comment. Typical backpedaling pissant.

    Stupidity Option D: Perhaps the saddest option of all. He actually believes that Murphy is the one who is wasting the court’s time and believe he should be punished for that. Murphy is the defendant, fyi. He isn’t suing the police department for touching his camera. He is not filing charges against NOM for getting their slime all over Buffalo and causing his skin to burn due to exposure to Holy Spittle Flecks. He is defending himself against ridiculous charges, not pressing the ridiculous charges. This case is ridiculous, and that is entirely the fault of THE PLAINTIFF. Alex’s finger is pointed at the victim and he has decided to blame the ridiculousness of the victimization on that victim and he hopes that the victim will suffer due to the high crime of relying on the justice system to dismiss ridiculous charges that the other party DOES NOT see as ridiculous. In other words, Murphy’s having the justice system do its fucking job, and Alex sees this as itself worthy of punishment at the hands of the justice system, and as decreasing the worth of those actually doing the jobs required of them by the justice system. Seriously, if this option is Alex’s actual angle, he is not just stupid. He is evil. And he can go fuck himself until he resembles nothing but the quasi-sentient bloody pustule that he truly is, on the inside.

    So, Alex, which is it? Which kind of stupid are you?

  • https://twitter.com/#!/KINGOtheparty KINGOtheparty

    The ADA in this case is so far up his own asshole that he has forgotten that there are two sides to each court room. It is unbelievable that this case was not dismissed. His sidekick is no better. She consistently turns back to the other (what I assume are) DA’s or lawyers and smirks anytime something relevant is presented by the Defense Attorneys. I seen it first hand, and much more than just once, but many times. This duo thinks this case is as big of a joke as Murphy does, based solely on their mannerisms. The only difference is they wouldn’t mind seeing that book they call the Law shoved up Murphy’s ass for not conforming… and maybe for making them say DILDO more times than they are comfortable with.
    Why not call it a phallus?

  • Dan McKowan

    I also witnessed the sidekick turning around and smirking this morning. It’s disturbing to say the least. Watching you testify was hilarious fun, too bad the bailiff kicked us out because my wife didn’t shut off her phone.

  • Kelli McMillan

    I wish we had thought of this before, but after returning home from testifying and just now reading this, what you said about Donovan saying that she was afraid that the camera may have been a weapon in disguise…

    Why then, did she not on my case about my shotgun mic? It looks a hell of a lot more like a weapon than your camera, and I was pointing it at people (that’s how it works, it’s highly directional).

    Mine looks a lot like this one: http://www.acquris.se/images/wealth_at-545_shotgun_microphone_2.jpg

    I was carrying it the entire time after we were led off the steps by police and relegated to across the street. I’ll bet you can see it in your video interview of me, unless I had put it in my bag for that. If she was so afraid of a weapon, why didn’t she give my mic a second thought? She really does like to make shit up.

  • Kelli McMillan

    “Watching you testify was hilarious fun, too bad the bailiff kicked us out because my wife didn’t shut off her phone.”

    It was supposed to be on silent. I have kids in school. I don’t EVER shut my phone completely off when my kids are in school or if I may otherwise get a call from ore regarding them. If I did and I missed a “____ is in the nurses office, can you come get them” I’d be pretty upset.

  • Jon Splett

    20 bucks says ‘Alex’ and Donna Donovan share an IP address…

  • http://buffalobeast.com/?tag=caigoy-authors Mike C.

    @17. Jon

    I dunno, typing in a different name to be deceptive would require some abstract thought; and at least enough empathy to be manipulative.

    Donovan’s operating more on the early vertebrate level; eyeless animals living off of what they could siphon from the floor of a muddy rhino footprint.

    It would be funny, though. DD? Are you reading this? Did you get confused during that rally—wondering how that particular microphone escaped your nightstand?

  • Backwards feminism

    I would be surprised if alex were officer donavan. I wouldn’t be surprised if Alex knew her some how though. Probably a nice catholic girl who has used birth control but doesn’t think gays are ok. Probably mocked the class lesbian at the all girol and had a few abortions. Acommon tale at any all girl school.
    Cum stains come out of those polyster uniforms easily. the tricky part is to wash it before mom does.

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