"Totally coup, yo."

Ozzie and Fidel: Bros for Life

Apr

16

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All offseason long, the Miami Marlins looked like a disaster waiting to happen. From their ultra-extravagant, ultra-expensive ballpark, to their roster that relies on a few star players, and not a great deal of depth, it seemed certain that things were going to blow up in their faces by the time July rolled around.

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BEASTcast 28: Sanal Edamaruku

Apr

15

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Sanal Edamaruku is the founder-president of Rationalist International and our first repeat BEASTcast guest. We talk about how he recently debunked a Catholic miracle claim in Mumbai and the blasphemy charges against him that ensued. You can donate to the Sanal Edamaruku Defence Fund and support free expression in India here. Music is by Pigface and is used with permission. You can subscribe to the BEASTcast here or rate and/or leave a review in iTunes.

n.b. Contrary to what I said introducing him, Sanal Edamaruku has not been arrested for blasphemy. There are charges against him, but as of the time I’m writing this those charges have not yet resulted in an arrest. 

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Know Your Right-Wing Homeopaths

Apr

13

by

LOL WHAW

World Homeopathy Awareness Week started this past Tuesday, probably because Tuesday is an infinitely diluted Monday. It’s kind of like Breast Cancer Awareness Week in that the thing we’re supposed to be more aware of suffers a major PR blow from all that awareness. But they’re different in that homeopaths are perversely proud of their special week while cancerous cells tend to not promote theirs. 

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VOTE REPUBLICAN!

Apr

12

by

Fake David Koch Endorses Real Republican in Wisconsin Governor Race

“I am a Republican, a black, dyed in the wool Republican, and I never intend to belong to any other party than the party of freedom and progress.”
-Frederick Douglass

Frederick Douglass would not recognize today’s Grand Old Party. The forward-thinking likes of Lincoln and La Follette have been usurped by backward psychopaths like Paul Ryan, Scott Walker, and [insert Republican here]. And if reanimated in the modern era, Zombie-Douglass would fight like hell to bring the Republican Party back to its progressive roots.

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TWiC #14: Updates!

Apr

06

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OK, here’s the deal. I’m off celebrating Easter by hunting down the returned Jesus. Beyonce’ and Jay-Z’s demon baby is paying me to kill him so that Christianity will die and our Illuminati Secret Religion can once again rule the world. Since Jesus supposedly spent a lot of time hanging out with prostitutes back in the day, hunting him now involves spending a lot of time in adult entertainment stores. Especially the kind that have private booths you pay for in quarters every 15 minutes.

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BEASTcast 26: Christopher Lombardo

Apr

04

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Christopher Lombardo (right) is a co-author with Noel Boivins of The Man Who Scared a Shark to Death and Other True Tales of Drunken Debauchery and their new book is called Tastes Like Human. Their website is The Shark Guys. Chris has been published in the Globe & Mail, the Toronto Star, the National Post and Cracked. We talk about writing, the future of publishing, and their new book. Music is by Pigface and is used with permission. You can subscribe to the BEASTcast here or rate and/or leave a review in iTunes.

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All-Haiku Major League Baseball Preview!

Mar

30

by

For that huge cross-section of baseball fans who like ancient Japanese poetry

Let’s face it, baseball is dull. To watch and to talk about. The only reason it’s so popular to begin with is because from June to September, it’s the only option. Then, football comes back, and we leave baseball behind, along with any harebrained idea that it’s still our “national pastime.” So, let’s spice things up a bit! Predicting baseball is sort of boring because it takes a while for a shitty team to become not shitty. As a result, we find ourselves with a lot of standings that look identical to the year before. How do we make that fun? With haiku! Of course. That’s right, it’s the 2012 All-Haiku MLB preview!

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