"Totally coup, yo."

Lies, Damn Dirty Lies, and Scott Walker's Job Numbers

May

16

by

Wisconsin Governor’s Pants Burst into Flames, Thousands Missing

Wisconsin’s job record is the worst in the nation. Scott Walker’s tried to obscure that fact with cheap slogans like “Wisconsin Is Open For Business” and “It’s working.”  Apparently, it’s not working well enough, so he’s graduated from bad public relations to pulling an Enron on Wisconsin’s labor statistics. According to Rick Ungar at Forbes:

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Murphy's Law VI

May

14

by

BEAST Editor’s Trial Begins Wednesday, May 16th

The first thing I’m going to do in jail is break a dude’s face. Just wreck it. Savage dentistry. Picasso nose. Blood fountain. According to MSNBC’s horrific weekend programming, that’s what I need to do to gain respect. And it probably won’t hurt to constantly mumble to myself about wanting to “get my knife wet.” But prison won’t be all bad. Right? Many fine books have been written in the clink. Maybe I’ll finally quit smoking and get in shape. Or maybe I’ll get shived from behind and bleed out on the shower floor.

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Hard Times For Baseball's One Percent

May

14

by

As I mentioned in my haiku-themed MLB preview, baseball can often be nauseatingly predictable. We know what teams are going to win each year, and we know who’s going to suck. Admittedly, bad teams can eventually develop quality talent and become contenders, but that takes a while. Plus, they usually trade their best prospects to the Yankees or Red Sox before they can reach the playoffs anyway.

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Green Around The Edges

May

14

by

Green Party “Debate” Between Jill Stein and Roseanne Barr, Reviewed

I didn’t plan on watching the Green presidential debate on Saturday night but when I saw a link get tweeted to a stream of it, I figured it would at least be worth putting on in the background in case Roseanne Barr did something crazy.

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BEASTcast 32: Matt Mogk

May

14

by

Matt Mogk is head of the Zombie Research Society. He’s also the author of That’s Not Your Mommy Anymore and Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Zombies. His upcoming graphic novel is ZDC: Zombie Disease Control. We talk about zombies. There may be a few minor spoilers for The Walking Dead, The Road, Dead-Alive, Night of the Living Dead, and Contagion. Music is by Pigface and is used with permission. You can subscribe to the BEASTcast here or rate and/or leave a review in iTunes.

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Wisconsin's Weird Numbers

May

09

by

Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett Crushes Dem Primary, but what the…

So yesterday’s Republican turnout for the Wisconsin gubernatorial primary was supposed to be low. Damn low. The conventional wisdom was that they had no reason to turn out, and if they did they might even cross over and vote for a weak (Falk) or fake (Huber) Democratic candidate. But that doesn’t seem to be the case.

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BEASTcast 31: Melody Hensley

May

08

by

 

Melody Hensley is the executive director of the Center for Inquiry in Washington, DC and is organizing the upcoming Women in Secularismconference. We talk about feminism, privilege, whether or not books should be left in the bathroom, and the conference. Also I try to coin a new term but then find out that it’s already been appropriated by racist immigrant-bashers. Music is by Pigface and is used with permission. You can subscribe to the BEASTcast here or rate and/or leave a review in iTunes.

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Secret Communist Subliminal Messages! Supermoons! God Lives in Ohio! And More!

May

04

by

“It’s a Supermoon, dicknose!”

Tomorrow there will be a full moon, and it’s going to be the biggest one of the year. It’s one of those Supermoons. And it’ll be on May 5th, 2012 (5/5!!). Does this mean the Moon will grow so much that it will reverse the Earth’s magnetic poles, causing massive earthquakes and tsunamis which will then awaken the sleeping Mayan god Quetzalcoatl? And will Quetzalcoatl then destroy the world in accordance with the unwritten ancient prophecies? Probably!

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