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PANDERMONIUM!

Apr

13

by

Kathy Hochul challenges opponents to like hockey

pander-monium

Wow.  Seems like my Democratic opponent Kathy Hochul has really upped her game. Check out this amazing press release (assist to Scott Leffler, for having the stomach to report on this race):

HOCHUL CONGRATULATES SABRES,
CALLS ON OPPONENTS TO FOLLOW
Hochul only candidate to support Sabres

The following is a statement from Kathy Hochul, candidate for New York’s 26th Congressional District:

“Now that the regular season is officially over, I congratulate the Sabres on an amazing 40th season and look forward to watching them in the playoffs.  Since my opponents – Republican, Jane Corwin, and Tea Party-endorsed candidate, Jack Davis – have refused to take a position on Congress’s budget compromise, I now call on them to immediately join me in rooting on the Sabres in their run for the Stanley Cup.”

More information about Kathy Hochul can be found at www.KathyHochul.com
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

Wow. Mighty shrewd politicking, Kathy. How dare Jane Corwin & Jack Davis not support that local thing everyone likes! I better put together a chicken wing press release before Hochul scoops me. Then again, she doesn’t seem to know that I’m in the race.

Damn. What am I going to do?! I really don’t give a shit about hockey, but I know that if I’m elected to Congress, nearly all of my daily duties will be hockey-related. Shit. I’ve been outmaneuvered! How can I show the people of NY-26 that I understand that being a good Congress Creature is just like when a hockey batter throws the disk for a touchdown?

Ah-ha! Beard-a-thon! Per Sabres tradition the team is asking for “fans to grow their own playoff beard and raise money for charity.” Check. And mate, Hochul. Your disturbingly beardless face betrays your disdain for both the Sabres and charity.  You shame us all.

________________________

  • Bort Reform

    Endorse pedophilia immediately or we will be forced to go to the press about your hatred of children

  • admin

    I’ve always stood behind children–wait, that sounds bad.

  • Dougie Johnston

    I pray for Jesus and the Sabres and Ian Murphy to win !1!! These are special times and Jesus loves the Irish. God sent his only Saint Patrick to drive the snakes out of Congress and he loves me, the Sabers and Ian for NY-26, in that odor. Spellchecked and proofread by me. I approve this massage.

  • admin

    I’ve met Dougie Johnston and you, sir, are no Dougie Johnston!

  • Biff Squatthrust

    I think you should challenge Hochul to a faceoff.

  • mike

    Hochul can go puck herself.

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