Scott Fitzgerald Gives a Stripper a Ride?
UPDATE 9:35 pm: PROBABLY MAYBE MIGHT BE NOT! More info below original post.
Scott Fitzgerald, the Republican Senator who’s represented the 13th district since ’94, is facing a tough recall election tomorrow against Democratic opponent Lori Compas. So it’s too bad for him that a confidential source just emailed me some highly interesting photos.
Just another “family values” Republican driving around with a woman who isn’t his wife. No big deal. It’s not a crime! Who is she? Nobody knew.
The second pic is of a stripper who works at Silk Exotic Gentleman’s Club in Madison:
The third pic is of the same stripper, hard at work:
In case you can’t tell where this is going, this is a composite I made:
Is that the same woman? Granted, I don’t have DNA evidence, and all white ladies look alike to me, but damn, it really does look like Scott Fitzgerald is giving that stripper a ride. But that’s not a crime! Her car probably broke down. Yeah, that’s it. He was just being a gentleman and driving her to visit her elderly grandmother. Yeah. That.
Calls placed to Silk Exotic Gentleman’s Club to ascertain the stripper’s identity were not answered as of this report. I’m going to have to go down there and do some very thorough research. Yeah, that’s it. Research. Until that time, however, you’re going to have to judge for yourself.
Updated info: A crack team of Super Serious Wisconsin Reporters have discovered that the woman pictured in Scott Fitzgerald’s passenger seat is a GOP operative named Judi Rhodes. I was sold the idea that Judi Rhodes, the stripper, and the woman in the car were one in the same. I initially discounted this because this is the only picture I could find of Rhodes:
And that tattoo-less lady just didn’t look like the car-lady or the stripper to me. But the stripper did look like the car-lady. Now that I’ve received photos of Rhodes from the crack team of Super Serious Wisconsin Reporters…
… I have to say that she now looks definitively like the cake-lady and the car woman. I told you all blonde ladies look alike to me. And, you know, after combing through hundreds of boobie pics, I probably wasn’t thinking straight.
Mistakes were made, fog of war, etc. It’s an open secret in Madison that Fitzgerald has a little something-something on the side. Is it Rhodes? No one can say. But we’re not in the business of rumors and hearsay! That’s despicable.
Next time on The BEAST: Why is Scott Fitzgerald driving around with Gretchen Carlson and/or Ann Coulter?! And why can’t Murphy tell blonde ladies apart? And is it possible Rhodes is a stripper by night — who wears fake tattoos? PROBABLY MAYBE MIGHT BE POSSIBLE!