"Totally coup, yo."

SPORTS DESK 3

Aug

01

by

Sports DeskSPORTS DESK

Sports Crimewatch
It’s a little early to tell yet, but it looks like a new statute is getting ready to leapfrog the open can of beer on the passenger seat, the unregistered pistol found in the hotel room during a soliciting arrest, and the simple assault of a pregnant wife to become the infraction du jour among professional athletes. As is appropriate given the theme of this issue, the new fad is the charge of “making terroristic threats,” which has more and more often been lumped in with the standard litany of multiple felony charges police generally bring when a recreating athlete short-circuits and goes haywire in a public place. In the past week, no fewer than two well-known professional athletes have been racked up on the terroristic threat charge— with one of them being Buffalo’s own Charlie Rogers, that once-promising wide receiver/kick returner pickup who may soon be calling for faircatches in the shower room of a New Jersey prison. >&gt
Wide Right
As the disturbing events of the past couple weeks have shown, the dog days of summer are a difficult time to be a professional athlete. Whether you’re Allen Iverson having to travel to an unpleasant West Philly neighborhood in the middle of the night to teach a lesson to the no-count cousin who dares to molest your young wife (and this after you have been paying to support him and his entire deadbeat family) or Al Unser, Jr., having to resort to drunken manipulation of the gear shift knob because your girlfriend still hasn’t learned to drive properly, there’s no end to the trouble you can find yourself in. >&gt
Ass The Way I Like It; Kicked
The Dogs came back home last Monday with an air about them. They had, the night before, delivered the Mahoning Valley Scrappers the ass whupping they had coming. The ass whupping the Dogs knew somebody had coming. It had been too long. They had put up only five runs in their previous five games, losing the last four of those, and were hitting less than .240 on the season as a team. The two most recent losses had come at the hands of the Scrappers, at their park in Niles, Ohio, to the tune of 9-0 and 5-1. >&gt
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