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Posts Tagged with ÔDixonŐ


BEASTcast 33: Kristen Becker

May 21st, 2012 by

Kristen Becker is a local stand-up comedian. She recently won the Best in Buffalo award for best stand-up comedian. Her new album is called How COULD She? BEAST contributor Joe Dixon joins in for this interview. We talk about comedy, Buffalo, politics, our gay president, and doing manual labor while watching porn. Music is by Pigface and is used with permission. You can subscribe to the BEASTcast here or rate and/or leave a review in iTunes.

BEASTcast Episode 33: Kristen Becker (mp3)

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The George Zimmerman Defense

March 28th, 2012 by

On February 26, 2012, George Zimmerman shot and killed a young black man, by the name of Trayvon Martin, who was walking from a convenience store back to his father’s girlfriend’s house. Martin was unarmed. Zimmerman insists that he was acting in self defense. He has not been arrested or charged with a crime as of this writing. The initial police response did not immediately check if George Zimmerman was drunk or on drugs that night. Nor did they take him to the hospital to seek medical aid for him despite his later claims that Martin assaulted him. In this piece from Anderson Cooper, Anderson lays out some of the other missteps by the police. Mr. Zimmerman, who has not publicly spoken, has had his lawyer, friends and family put out his version of what occurred that evening.

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Scent of a Pope

March 21st, 2012 by

New Pope perfume is all the rave

There are many benefits to being a Pope. For example, you have the moral authority to call Jews “dirty ignoramuses,” or steal Jewish children from their parents. Your complicity in terminating Jews will be written off as a mere youthful indiscretion, and you can cover up the Catholic Church’s systemic child rape without getting in trouble. How wonderful is that? (more…)

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6 People/Groups Obama Didn’t Call

March 7th, 2012 by

As you’re no doubt aware, President Obama (known throughout my studio apartment as the Drone King for his excellent ability to kill people overseas while still maintaining massive support among liberals who use to hate that sort of thing when a Republican did it) picked up the phone to chat with a woman by the name of Sandra Fluke.

Ms. Fluke, a Georgetown University law student, was called a “slut” and “prostitute” by fat fuck-face Rush “Why Has He Not Joined Andrew Breibart Yet?” Limbaugh. Mr. Limbaugh, a right-wing blowhard radio host, who has since offered an “apology,” took to bashing Ms. Fluke because she went on the TeeVee and defended employer-provided insurance that covers birth control.

Yes, readers of the future, birth control is what people fought over in America in the beginning of the 21st Century. If you feel like looking down on we, your ancestors, you have every right. Have at it. We have earned your righteous contempt many times over.

“I just read something that called me the Drone King.

Meanwhile, for those of us still here in the present I thought I’d whip up a nice little list of people and or groups that President Barack Obama DIDN’T call.

Obama didn’t call…

… the people of New Orleans to apologize for the Army Corps of Engineers drowning them.

… workers in Wisconsin to support their battle for collective bargaining.

… his supporters to explain his craven drug policy concerning pot.

… Iran so he could “talk to our enemies.”

… on cops to stop cracking down on Occupy protesters.

… environmentalist to let them know they could go fuck themselves.

Maybe he’ll phone when Limbaugh calls them sluts. Probably not.

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Follow Joe Dixon on Twitter, or check out his Youtube channel if you want to see him get drunk and read the bible.
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BEASTcast 20: Dave Silverman

February 20th, 2012 by

Dave Silverman is the President of American Atheists. BEAST contributor and stand-up comic Joe Dixon joins in and we talk to him about atheism and some fun upcoming events for secular activists like the Reason Rally, which is March 24 in Washington, DC. Joe wonders aloud what Silverman’s penis looks like, and later Josh gets all reactionary and starts yelling about how atheism is a “choice.” Except not really.

Music is by Pigface and is used with permission. You can subscribe to the BEASTcast by using this link in iTunes or any other podcast subscription software.

 

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5 Signs of The Rise Of The Planet Of The Lucky Duckies

February 6th, 2012 by

The BEAST looks at the brighter side of poverty

THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT THINGS about poverty that are never fully covered by the media.  It’s never pointed out, for example, that for all it’s supposed down sides, having no money is actually a good thing. Why, it’s like getting your balls licked and your shoes shined every single day! You female double-amputees know what I’m talking about. I mean, you have no concerns about payments on your second home, or where to vacation, and yet you still get to have a refrigerator and a microwave. How awesome is that? I had no idea a college education would make me such a Lucky Ducky, but here I am. (more…)

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The 8 Most Awesome Drone Stories of 2011!

December 30th, 2011 by

It’s a list. We hear you like lists.

Compiling this list is always difficult. There are just so many needy nations, upon which our beneficent empire could deliver death from above, that you can’t help but be disappointed by how relatively few we actually oblige. And, of course, this compendium is both wholly subjective, and admittedly incomplete. Perhaps your favorite assassination didn’t make the cut, or you’ll take umbrage with my ranking system. Or maybe one of our awesome Predators killed your entire family with a Hellfire missile, and you’re being a whiny little bitch about it. What can I say? Everyone’s a critic. (more…)

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Other Lies Fox Viewers Will Believe about #OWS

October 18th, 2011 by

BY JOE DIXON

You have got people having sex on the street, walking around topless, smoking pot…
-Sean Hannity on the protestors in Zuccotti Park, 10/14/2011

While it’s true that there are few people dumber than a Fox News viewer, can that lie really work? Yes, a 33,000-square-foot park, surrounded by cops 24 hours a day, is full of flagrant law breakers. And law enforcement is, what, masturbating to it? Handing out the weed? Well, god knows, cops are holding. And they’ve been so cool with the protesters that I guess anything is possible. (more…)

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#OCCUPYWALLSTREET

September 29th, 2011 by

A BEAST Special Report

Fearless BEAST reporter Joe Dixon leaves the safety of Harlem to interview the EVIL SOCIALISTS at #occupywallstreet. (more…)

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