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Posts Tagged with ‘Murphy’

Herman Cain Chief of Staff Sucks on Fag

October 25th, 2011 by

This is weird:

First, who the hell is this guy?¬†Block was, until recently, the Wisconsin State Director of Americans for Prosperity. Now he’s Cain’s CoS. That makes sense.

Second, what is with Cain’s creepy smile at the end? That’s your best take? Really?

“I’m Herman Cain, and I approved this leering.”

And C, why does Block have that fag in his mouth?¬†AFP’s been underwritten by the tobacco industry before, so that’s probably why.

“I’m in Freedom Country”

Guys like Block & Cain — people with tobacco industry connections — don’t just make a campaign video that features a guys smoking without considering those connections. It’s not a flippant decision.¬†Cain himself has lobbied hard for tobacco, according to the NYT:

From 1996, when he left the pizza company, until 1999, Mr. Cain ran the National Restaurant Association, a once-sleepy trade group that he transformed into a lobbying powerhouse. He allied himself closely with cigarette makers fighting restaurant smoking bans, spoke out against lowering blood-alcohol limits as a way to prevent drunken driving, fought an increase in the minimum wage and opposed a patients’ bill of rights — all in keeping with the interests of the industry he represented….

Under Mr. Cain’s leadership, the restaurant association opposed higher taxes on cigarettes and the use of federal money to prosecute cigarette makers for fraud — positions that Matt Myers, president of the Campaign for Tobacco-Free Kids said had little to do with the restaurant business.

And Mr. Cain argued vociferously that the decision about whether to go smoke-free was the province of individual restaurant owners, not the government. “The restaurant industry literally became the alter ego of the tobacco industry during that period of time,” Mr. Myers said in an interview.

The restaurant association relied heavily on R. J. Reynolds for financial support, records show. Mr. Meyne, the Reynolds senior director of public affairs, served on the restaurant group’s board, and Mr. Cain served on the board of Nabisco, which had earlier merged with Reynolds.

In a 1999 memorandum, Mr. Meyne wrote that in previous years his company had given the trade group “as much as nearly $100,000 in cash and much more in in-kind support,” adding, “They have done virtually everything we’ve ever asked, and even appointed us to their board.


Naturally, I have no proof that the smoking shot is Block’s half of a campaign donation/personal payoff quid pro quo with big tobacco, but call it women’s intuition: AFP, Cain, Block et al got paid, for that puff. If they didn’t, they missed an obvious opportunity to do so.

UPDATE: Jim Newell at Gawker thinks I’m guilty of “concern trolling” and that I’m to be counted among “a whole class of reporters and writers who apparently have never once seen someone smoking a cigarette.” I’ve actually seen people doing this…in the mirror. And when I ran for Congress, I smoked in my campaign ads, too. Oh, wait, I didn’t because I’m not a) a fucking idiot and b) a tobacco lobbyist.

Block says the ad was “Just Block be[ing] Block.” ¬†And that he “personally would encourage people not to smoke. It’s just that [he's] a smoker.” I imagine Block takes a shit every day, too, so why not just film him on the toilet, wiping his hairy, libertarian asshole with some Koch-made Georgia Pacific double-ply? It would just be Block being Block.

But at least Gawker’s¬†straightened¬†me out on this — because if a professional tobacco lobbyist & AFP liar like Block says there’s nothing to the ad, then there’s probably nothing to the ad. He and Cain have been paid by the tobacco industry before, and they likely will again, but this one’s probably a freebie.

Thanks, Gawker! Your too-cool-for-practical-analysis-of-a-political-anomaly-perpetrated-by-a-guy-with-ties-to-the-tobacco-industry attitude is what good reporting is all about!



Pro-lifers are murdering hypocrites

October 24th, 2011 by

And not just because they kill abortion doctors

I like Herman Cain’s confusing position on abortion, and the recent Republican candidates’ focus on the issue, because it’s a good excuse to bash pro-life hypocrites. And, yes, if you’re pro-life, you’re a hypocrite. Sorry; that’s the truth. (more…)


Liberty Squared

October 4th, 2011 by

I Slept in Zuccotti Park for This Report

Wall Street was an actual wall once. In the 1600s, Dutch occupiers needed to keep out the natives, pirates, and unwanted dregs. You learned the Dutch stole the island for $24, but they really paid 60 guilders, which is over $1,000 in today-money. Still a steal, for Manhattan. In 2011, the rent is too damn high…unless you’re willing to sleep in the park. (more…)


Hey, hey, hey! It's a 9/11 Rerun!

September 5th, 2011 by

The absolutely true story of how The BEAST smuggled al Qaeda into the U.S.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Glenn Greenwald’s recent post about the insane military & homeland “security” spending since 9/11, called The Decade’s Biggest Scam, reminded me of a similar point I made a few years ago — by illegally canoeing from Buffalo, NY to Ft. Erie, Canada to test border security. The point was that these expenditures aren’t meant to keep us safe from terrorists. That threat is incredibly overblown. The point of it is for defense & security contractors to get paid. Big time.

Sorry for the rerun, BEAST fiends, but some of our new, post-Walker prank readers may have missed it. And, you know, I don’t feel like canoeing across the Niagara river again. The following report was originally published in the August, 2008 print edition of The BEAST. (more…)


Trout Mask Republican

August 22nd, 2011 by

Jon Huntsman Eating Dough in a Polyethylene Bag Is Fast and Bulbous, Got Me?

On Friday, former Governor of Utah and Republican presidential hopeful Jon Hunstman tweeted this tweet tweeted round the Twitter:

To be clear. I believe in evolution and trust scientists on global warming. Call me crazy. (more…)


Murphy's Law

July 27th, 2011 by

The true story of how I shot a cop and went to jail (and something about a dildo)

“They got me on some straight-up bullshit, son!” exclaimed the kid sitting next to me in the bullpen at the Erie County Holding Center. “What they get you on?”

“I shot a cop,” I growled, shooting him an icy stare. “And I’d do it again.”

“Son?!” His face froze in delighted dismay. “Real? That nigga dead?!”

“I really doubt it.”

“Jablaow!” he mimicked a gunshot, aiming his hand at the mucus-encrusted, blood-smeared brick wall. “What’d you use–a nine, forty-five…” (more…)


RightOnline/Netroots Nation

June 22nd, 2011 by

A Video Journey Through A Series of Political Tubes

OK, so I said I’d write up something about the new media clusterfunk in Minneapolis last weekend, but Jay Mitchell Hunstman‘s amazing video captures it quite well. After attending the Americans For Prosperity freedom-jamboree RightOnline, he went deep undercover at Netroots Nation to see how evil the evil left really is…um, evil? (more…)


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