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Posts Tagged with Murphy

Evil Twin City

June 20th, 2011 by

Murphy buys O’Keefe dinner with ‘crack pipe’ money

“Make your enemy live up to their own book of rules.”
-Saul Alinsky


“Hey, Andrew, what’s up?”

“Just going for a walk.”

“Oh. Me too.”

That was the brief exchange I had with Andrew Breitbart, as we strode past each other on a Minneapolis sidewalk. It was a humid day. We both looked like sweaty hobos. But we had different missions. His was to “crash” Netroots Nation, the annual meetup of internet progressive types organized by Daily Kos peeps. Mine was to attend RightOnline, the Americans For Prosperity-funded conservative answer to internet organizing and citizen journalism, which sets up shop down the road from Netroots every year like some creepy stalker. (more…)


BEASTcast 10: Bunting/Murphy

May 30th, 2011 by

BEASTcast episode 10: Bunting/Murphy (mp3)

In this Very Special BEASTcast, I talk to BEAST editor-in-chief Ian Murphy about his recent run for Congress to represent the 26th District of New York. We all know that it is illegal to make fun of thin-skinned local television personalities, but is it still illegal when an editor of a satirical website does it? Did Murphy break into his opponent’s phone bank in order to obtain incriminating evidence? And what’s up with escalating the war in Indochina to Cambodia and Laos? These questions and many more will be answered.

Music is by Pigface and is used with permission.

You can subscribe to the BEASTcast by using this link in iTunes or any other podcast subscription software.


Murphy didn't mean it, baby

February 28th, 2011 by

An open letter to Mika Brzezinski


Dearest Little Z-Big,
It broke my heart when I didn’t see you on “Morning Joe” last week. I was mortified when Scarborough said you were “horrified” by my “mean call.” Because I love you, baby. And Murphy didn’t mean to objectify your fine ass, which is damn fine. I mean, you’re no Willie Geist, but you got it going on. Let’s not kid ourselves. Even serial plagiarist Mike Barnicle has my back. As he explained, it’s typical for older, male viewers of “Morning Joe” to say something about you like, “Oh yeah…” (more…)



January 24th, 2011 by

Horrid gossip hag pens sinister hit piece on BEAST editor

After four sleepless days, I finally finish and post the Loathsome List, then snort some hillbilly heroin, smoke a roach and slip into a 30-hour coma. I wake up to find that the list is wildly popular, and that I’ve received an email from one Betsy Rothstein—the editor of some insipid Beltway gossip blog called Fishballs DC. She wants to talk to me. Naturally.


The BEAST's Most Heinous Climate Villains, 2010

December 11th, 2010 by

(This article was published originally by Alternet.)

This was the hottest decade on record and 2010 has been the hottest year on record. Extreme weather and starvation are increasing on every continent, as beetles devour our forests and jellyfish begin to rule the sea. MIT and the Met Office Hadley Centre predict a business as usual 6 degree Celsius surface warming by 2100, and more than that over land. Climatologists call this being “screwed.” Response from the oil and coal people? Bend over. What follows is a list of people who just don’t get it, are handsomely rewarded not to get it, or both. (more…)


This is Howie do it

October 17th, 2010 by

The BEAST Interrogates NY Green Party Gubernatorial Candidate Howie Hawkins



You don’t get a lot of press compared to Cuomo and Paladino. Why is that, and have you ever considered threatening a reporter or forwarding equine pornography emails to get more of the spotlight?

We don’t need stunts to get attention. Our Green New Deal speaks for itself: (more…)

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Whore More Years!

September 22nd, 2010 by

The Manhattan Madam’s pointless run for NY Governor


BUFFALO–So I’m on lunch the other day, covered in sawdust, specks of paint and your general blue-collar grime, when I notice what appeared to be a prostitute and her diminutive pimp posing for photos in Niagara Square. He’s pinstriped and wearing a fedora. The hooker’s a spray-tan…woman with collagen-duck-lips, long bleach-blond hair, caked-on-makeup, leg tattoos and enough silicon on the top floor to caulk an entire mansion. I’m just eating my shitty gas station sandwich on a bench, wondering what & why? (more…)


The 6 Kookiest Religious Beliefs

August 24th, 2010 by

It’s a list. You love lists!


There’s no shortage of insane religious nonsense, and documenting it all could take a lifetime, so here’s a list of six relatively obscure and totally crazy beliefs, for your edutainment. Enjoy, Infidels! (more…)


A Bridge to the Future

August 17th, 2010 by

A modest proposal to destroy faith



I hereby propose, on this magnanimous day, the Importeenth of August, 2010, a practical solution to destroy religious belief in our time. For reasons which will soon be abundantly clear, some steps need to be taken before this very practical proposal can be fully elucidated. So, without delay:



The BP Tapes

June 9th, 2010 by

BEAST bug at Podesta Group catches candid conversation


Several months ago, while investigating the apparent ties between former Clinton Chief of Staff, and current President of the Center for American Progress, John Podesta and the fossil fuel industry (a charge he vehemently denies), we at The BEAST couldn’t help but notice: The Podesta Group, the lobbying firm John founded with his brother Tony in ’88, represents BP America. While John’s not been on payroll, for a few years now, Tony has since become a DC powerhouse. (more…)

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