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Posts Tagged with ‘Murphy’s Law’


Murphy's Law VI

May 14th, 2012 by

BEAST Editor’s Trial Begins Wednesday, May 16th

The first thing I’m going to do in jail is break a dude’s face. Just wreck it. Savage dentistry. Picasso nose.¬†Blood fountain. According to MSNBC’s horrific weekend programming, that’s what I need to do to gain respect. And it probably won’t hurt to constantly mumble to myself about wanting to “get my knife wet.” But prison won’t be all bad. Right? Many fine books have been written in the clink. Maybe I’ll finally quit smoking and get in shape. Or maybe I’ll get shived from behind and bleed out on the shower floor. (more…)

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Murphy's Law 5

January 13th, 2012 by

The “I Can’t Believe This is Going to Trial” Edition

UPDATE, January 17th 11am: The City Hall security camera footage finally provided by the DA’s office conveniently will not play. While my lawyer and the DA talk to the company that owns the¬†proprietary video software to figure it out, my trial has been postponed until May — with a hearing about the camera footage set for Feb 2. Seeing how the Buffalo Police Department erased my exonerating camera footage, I’d be incredibly surprised if the cameras under their control weren’t mysterious “broken” on the day in question. But we’ll see.

For those of you who’re unfamiliar with the ridiculous legal case against me, you can read Murphy’s Law parts 1, 2, 2.5, 3, 3.5, and 4. Or if you hate lengthy first-person accounts, you can read this succinct report at Raw Story. But, basically, I got arrested for filming a cop while covering a National Organization for Marriage “We Hate teh Gay” rally in Buffalo, New York. And, no, filming cops is not illegal in New York, so they fabricated a bunch of charges to justify my arrest. And then they erased my camera to cover their asses.

Anyway, before I go to court on January 17th, a little update seemed in order… (more…)

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Murphy's Law 4

October 17th, 2011 by

My lawyer shreds the charges against me, cops make up new charges

I had my motions hearing last Tuesday, Oct 11th. And the one good thing about this experience is that I’m learning, up close and personal, a lot about the law. The bad thing about it is that I’m learning, up close and personal, a lot about the law. Sad emoticon. (more…)

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Murphy's Law III

August 14th, 2011 by

Mysterious “Cheap Throat” leaks sensitive police document to BEAST

THINGS ARE WEIRD. I was arrested for filming a cop. They confiscated the camera, erased the footage, and charged me with disorderly conduct, disruption of a religious service and some other bullshit. The complainant listed on the officially police report is “Sony”. Its race is unknown. And it lives at police headquarters, according to the report. (more…)

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Murphy's Law II

July 31st, 2011 by

The weird and weak legal case against me, the worst daily paper in Buffalo, destruction of evidence by police, and the brutal irony of the American Surveillance State.

[UPDATE: My estimate below of 48-hours to recover the lost footage was wildly optimistic. The program's been running since 7/29, and it's processed 953 files out of 1049 total as of 8/2. Sorry for jumping the gun.-IM]

AS I TYPE THESE WORDS, The BEAST’s pro-bono by contract scientists, previously employed by the Army Security Agency (ASA) and the Intelligence and Security Command (INSCOM), are utilizing advanced forensic data techniques to recover our camera footage which was so ineptly and illegally erased by the Buffalo Police Department. (more…)

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Murphy's Law

July 27th, 2011 by

The true story of how I shot a cop and went to jail (and something about a dildo)

“They got me on some straight-up bullshit, son!” exclaimed the kid sitting next to me in the bullpen at the Erie County Holding Center. “What they get you on?”

“I shot a cop,” I growled, shooting him an icy stare. “And I’d do it again.”

“Son?!” His face froze in delighted dismay. “Real? That nigga dead?!”

“I really doubt it.”

“Jablaow!” he mimicked a gunshot, aiming his hand at the mucus-encrusted, blood-smeared brick wall. “What’d you use–a nine, forty-five…” (more…)

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