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Posts Tagged with ÔreportageŐ

The Agony of Mike Daisey

March 23rd, 2012 by

Back when I was a kid, my parents explained Mutually Assured Destruction to me. They thought telling a kid they might be blown up in a nuclear attack (or, more likely, slowly eaten away by fallout radiation) would be a cool thing to do. They said that the Soviet Union was run by a corrupt oligarchy and that I should probably know they might kill everyone I knew at a moment’s notice.

So I asked who was in charge of our nuclear weapons. Well, it turns out he was an actor. And he was a very old actor whose brain was probably deteriorating. It wasn’t very reassuring. (more…)


Hey, hey, hey! It's a 9/11 Rerun!

September 5th, 2011 by

The absolutely true story of how The BEAST smuggled al Qaeda into the U.S.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Glenn Greenwald’s recent post about the insane military & homeland “security” spending since 9/11, called The Decade’s Biggest Scam, reminded me of a similar point I made a few years ago — by illegally canoeing from Buffalo, NY to Ft. Erie, Canada to test border security. The point was that these expenditures aren’t meant to keep us safe from terrorists. That threat is incredibly overblown. The point of it is for defense & security contractors to get paid. Big time.

Sorry for the rerun, BEAST fiends, but some of our new, post-Walker prank readers may have missed it. And, you know, I don’t feel like canoeing across the Niagara river again. The following report was originally published in the August, 2008 print edition of The BEAST. (more…)


Top 11 Ways The BEAST is better than James O'Keefe

March 9th, 2011 by

Because the MSM cannot figure it out

So, James O’Keefe got some NPR people to say that liberals are smarter than conservatives and that Tea Partiers are sometimes racists. Big scoop. Those are just facts, known-knowns, and the undercover sting revealed very little regarding what NPR execs know about right-wing lunatics.

Comparisons between O’Keefe and Murphy have abounded of late, but we’re here to clear up why our pranks are so much better than his and why that kid sucks: (more…)



February 14th, 2011 by

Billionaire Bashing in Rancho Mirage, CA

by Mike Roddy


We came dressed for battle at Rancho Las Palmas Hotel. Gail Zawacki and I had matching tuxedo shirts, top hats, ghoul masks, and the best sign ever: KOCH KILLS, on an eight by two foot banner, painted in dripping red by Gail. We’d been planning it for weeks, and came from New Jersey and Seattle, respectively, for this important event.
And we’re not talking about whatever the gathering inside the hotel met for—no mystery there: “How can we evade paying taxes? When can we destroy Social Security? Those pesky pollution and climate change rules are cutting into our bottom lines; who should we bribe?” (more…)


The Amazing Lunch

February 11th, 2011 by

James Randi bets $1 million against homeopathy, buys me a sandwich

“I like to think they keep a Filipino virgin locked up in the back who makes the rice pudding.”
- James Randi

I met up with legendary magician, skeptic, prolific debunker of nonsense, and founder of the James Randi Educational Foundation last Friday in Ft. Lauderdale, FL to shoot the below video challenge to manufacturers and retailers of homeopathic “remedies”: (more…)


The Rent is Exceedingly Pricey

November 19th, 2010 by

JIMMY MCMILLAN on his 2012 Presidential Bid, Sarah Palin and the Tea Party, a possible cage death-match with Chuck Norris, space aliens in the VA, breakfast-lunch-and-dinner, drinking his own urine and something about the price of shelter in a BEASTCLUSIVE Interview.

McMillan: “So what’s wrong with drinking your own urine? You see, you were told it’s no good; you believe it’s no good. Don’t you believe that.”

B: If you had to choose, what’s the most important meal of the day: breakfast, lunch or dinner?

JM: Hahaha! Both—all three! But you need breakfast. Breakfast is key. That’s what I’m having right now. You may not eat dinner, but the breakfast is very important because your body shut down at night when you go to sleep. If you don’t sleep at night, whatever time you wake up will be breakfast. You need to put that in your body, so your body can function and all that. (more…)

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November 4th, 2010 by
(This piece was originally published at Alternet)

The hero of this story is the $100 bill — or rather, the wad of $100 bills. My first meeting with those lovely $100 bills came at the end of my interview for a job teaching English at the American University of Iraq Sulaimaniya (AUIS). At the end of the interview, the Chancellor, Joshua Mitchell asked me what my travel expenses had been and pulled out a wad of $100 bills. He peeled off 11 of them — the cost of my ticket — and slapped them down on the table, snarling, “There, that’s how I do business!” (more…)


Whore More Years!

September 22nd, 2010 by

The Manhattan Madam’s pointless run for NY Governor


BUFFALO–So I’m on lunch the other day, covered in sawdust, specks of paint and your general blue-collar grime, when I notice what appeared to be a prostitute and her diminutive pimp posing for photos in Niagara Square. He’s pinstriped and wearing a fedora. The hooker’s a spray-tan…woman with collagen-duck-lips, long bleach-blond hair, caked-on-makeup, leg tattoos and enough silicon on the top floor to caulk an entire mansion. I’m just eating my shitty gas station sandwich on a bench, wondering what & why? (more…)


i haz a meme

September 9th, 2010 by

Delusional bigot draws massive crowd of delusional bigots


AUGUST 28, 2010 — As America declines, so does its sanity.  The crazy has coalesced alongside the Tidal Basin and the Lincoln Memorial, DC. A delusional, racist demagogue has drawn about 200,ooo delusional, racist idiots, for a “Restoring Honor” rally. It’s a historic day in America. It’s an historic day in Britain. It’s the first time since Martin Luther King Jr. gave his inspiring “I have a dream” speech in ’63 — on this same day, in this same spot — that a white man has had the unashamed bigotry, cognitive dissonance and unchecked megalomania to squat over that inspiring dream and take a massive, steaming shit.

Those who camped out  for Glenn Beck’s  jingoist revival were not lucid dreamers. They are an uneducated and devastatingly stupid sect of the white majority, who fancy themselves existentially threatened by some swarthy other. To them, our president is counted among that melanin-rich horde of ill-defined evil. Squeezing my way through the lawn chair pews, I felt like I was inside the film Jesus Camp.

Going into this situation with a beard and long hair made things really interesting, but I wouldn’t try it again. One guy I met, Chris, who would stress to me the importance of removing the tax burden from the highest-income tax earners, and who called himself a Christian, told me that I was likely to get more interesting answers if I looked like some radical hippie freak. In hindsight, I agree. (more…)


Study: 70% of Republicans Can't Identify Self in Mirror

September 5th, 2010 by

CHICAGO (AB)–Researchers at the Institute of Incredibly Depressing Statistics (IIDS) have released a new and incredibly depressing statistic: 70% of republicans are unable to identify their own image in a mirror.

Study participants were asked to stand in a lineup, which included a houseplant, a cardboard cutout of Mel Torme, a bucket full of monkey spit and a large wheel of sharp cheddar cheese. IIDS scientists then presented the subjects with a wall-sized mirror and asked them to point at their own reflection. While 92% of registered democrats were easily able to point out their own reflection, a staggering majority of republicans and independents could not. (more…)

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