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Posts Tagged with ÔUthmanŐ


Wisconsin Legislators respond to prank call by making it illegal

March 1st, 2011 by

Looks like the Republican legislators of Wisconsin have learned their lesson from the Walker sting, and are moving quickly to address the problem:

Bill circulating in Legislature to end spoof calls

Although representatives deny any connection to the recent prank call on the governor, two legislators began circulating a bill Monday that would ban making trick calls masking the caller’s true identity.

Sen. Mary Lazich, R-Waukesha, and Rep. Mark Honadel, R-Milwaukee, authored a bill that would prohibit tricking the call’s recipient into believing the caller is someone they are not for malicious purposes. (more…)

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The 50 Most Loathsome Americans, 2009

January 29th, 2010 by

Tiger_Woods

50. Tiger Woods

Charges: Rose to god-like celebrity and tycoon-level riches smacking a ball into a hole with a stick. His promiscuity with commercial endorsements makes his sexual dalliances seem frivolous by contrast. Cheated on his Swedish supermodel wife with over a dozen women, all of whom look like “Rock of Love” washouts.
Exhibit A: “Who is your new boy toy?”
Sentence: Zero stroke penalty. (more…)

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ONE LUMP OR TWO?

April 5th, 2009 by

Fake Fascism, Phony Populism & False Outrage

BY ALLAN UTHMAN

I’m actually starting to feel sorry for conservatives. They’ve never made much sense, but the trouncing they took in November appears to have driven them completely insane.

I can’t think of a better word to describe people who meet up to protest taxes when taxes have not been raised, or who actually accuse the president who ended torture of being a fascist.

It seems fairly obvious, but if taxes and deficits were the issue, these same people would have been out in the streets for years now. The real issues, the true motives behind these paltry protests, are fairly simple: They lost, and there’s a black guy with a foreign-sounding name in the White House. Does anyone think a bunch of old white people would be out in the street shouting crazy shit about fascism if Hillary Clinton was president? Not a chance. They’d be mad, but not insane. (more…)

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DESPERATE BUT NOT SERIOUS

March 15th, 2009 by

There’s still no relief from Republican math

BY ALLAN UTHMAN

“Tonight, we tell America: We know the past, we know we did wrong. My bad.”

- Michael Steele

Remember “Bush Derangement Syndrome?” That was the flippant label Republicans applied to the outrage liberals have been displaying toward the Bush administration for the past six years. Well, at least we waited for him to start screwing up before we got mad. Obama Derangement Syndrome, on the other hand, has swept the heartland with amazing speed, starting well before he took the oath of office. (more…)

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CROCK THE VOTE

November 10th, 2008 by

BRAD FRIEDMAN ON THE EPIC FAIL OF 2008

INTERVIEW BY ALLAN UTHMAN

bradFriedman

Brad Friedman is perhaps the most diligent and unassailable election integrity advocate in America. His work at Bradblog.com is required reading for anyone who gives a damn about maintaining democracy in America, and he’s also the guy we call whenever we start freaking out about the insanity of allowing hackable, untested voting machines to tabulate an election between two morally bankrupt parties, or the bitter injustice of trumped up voter fraud charges taking precedence in the media over real, actual voter fraud. (more…)

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LET’S GET SOCIAL: Americans Prefer to Hang Separately

November 10th, 2008 by

By Allan Uthman

Now that fiscal “conservatives” have devastated this country in ways that only the most knuckleheaded can deny (or blame on Barney Frank), it seems that “liberal” just doesn’t pack the epithetic wallop it once did. Just a few years ago, it was enough to tar a Democrat as a liberal to hurt him in the polls, but Barack Obama hasn’t even done much to evade the charge. People may just be thinking that the liberals might not be so bad, considering that they have turned out to be right about seemingly every policy argument of the past decade or so. (more…)

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Top 10 Idiocies of the General Election

August 10th, 2008 by

…so far

BY ALLAN UTHMAN

The Surge: Working Overtime

“The surge is working.” It’s an incessant mantra, forever on the lips of politicians and “journalists” these days. It’s as if they can simply will it into truth. Yes, there has been a reduction in violence in Iraq, if the stats are to be believed. But it’s a mistake to think that’s primarily due to an increase in troop strength. What is working in Iraq is the Awakening, a movement of Sunni tribes against al Qaeda in Iraq (which, while a franchisee of the al Qaeda trademark, is really an entirely separate group). Essentially what has happened is that the Sunni Arabs have grown weary of al Qaeda’s tendency to wantonly murder their own people, and to start civil wars and stuff like that. So they’ve started taking money from the Pentagon instead of bin Laden, and things have quieted down somewhat. This change was bound to occur, and preceded the surge. In fact, if Bush had eschewed the surge, and instead sent the equivalent amount of money for bribes and salaries, it would have been much more effective. (more…)

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Say Uncle!

August 10th, 2007 by

BEAST Negotiates Iraq Withdrawal

.
Mahmoud OthmanA lifelong Kurdish diplomat, Dr. Mahmoud Othman is now a leading member of the Iraqi National Assembly. He is also our editor’s uncle.

Do you think it’s wrong that the PKK is listed as a terrorist agency?

Of course it’s wrong, because I think Turkey is waging a sort of  state terrorism against them for the last century. So when they defend themselves, you can’t call it terrorism. (more…)

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Eeny, Meeny, Miny, Moe!

March 10th, 2007 by
INTERVIEW BY ALLAN UTHMAN

The Brad Blog’s Brad Friedman on the hijacking of democracy, why a paper trail is not enough and the Democrats’ flawed remedy

friedman

Do you think that the Democratic gains in the midterm elections have had a deflating effect on the election integrity movement? (more…)

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Schlep Boys

February 10th, 2007 by

Failing forward in one act.

BY ALLAN UTHMAN



[Scene takes place in the interior of an auto repair garage. Charles Krauthammer is seated behind a counter. America walks up and addresses Krauthammer.]

America: Hey, I’ve got a problem here.

Krauthammer: Welcome to Kristol and Krauthammer Kollision. Can I help you?

America: Uh—yeah I was just in here… I paid you guys to fix my car? It was making a knocking sound?

Krauthammer: Yes?

America: Yeah, it broke down in your driveway right there.

Krauthammer: Oh dear.

America: Yeah, and…uh…

Krauthammer: Let me get the guys. Bill! Tom! Peter!

[William Kristol, Thomas Friedman and Peter Beinart approach. They are well dressed and clean, bearing no signs of having been engaged in auto repair work.]

Krauthammer: This guy says we messed up his car.

Kristol: No way, hehe.

Beinart: Damn, I knew it.

America: Listen, it’s not just you didn’t fix it. I looked under the hood—

Beinart: Shit.

Kristol: Damn, hehe.

America: [Growing impatient] Yeah, I looked under the hood, and—I can’t believe I’m saying this—I looked under the hood, and my engine’s not there. And uh… instead of the engine, there’s a… a pig in there, on a treadmill, and a monkey. The monkey’s not moving.

Friedman: Yeah, we had to replace the engine.

America: Replace it? There’s a pig and a dead monkey in there! What the hell? You guys are supposed to be good at this?

Beinart: Dead? Oh god…

Kristol: Well, hehe, that explains your problem, hehe.

America: Yes, dead. There’s a dead monkey with a whip taped to his hand and two wires stuck into his side. And a goddamn pig in a harness on a treadmill!

Krauthammer: [Amused] What’s going on here, guys?

Friedman: Well, how else were we going to get the pig to run, besides training a monkey to whip it when electrically shocked?

America: That’s completely insane! Why not just fix the damn engine?

Friedman: Look, the problems your engine faced were like a Superbowl halftime show: powerful and flashy, and everywhere. But fixing it would have been costly, difficult and time-consuming, like going to the moon and back. So, actually fixing your engine would have been like eradicating a Superbowl halftime show on the moon. And who wants to do that? I like the Superbowl halftime show.

America: What the hell is this guy talking about?

Beinart: Just humor him.

Friedman: I’m not done. So, you see, the halftime show—so that’s too hard, actually fixing your engine. But simply removing and replacing it with a pig and a monkey, now that is inspired, audacious thinking. We are totally, 110% outside of the box here. The box is around the corner behind us. A homeless man has moved into it.

America: But it doesn’t work!

Friedman: But just imagine how incredible, how wonderful everything would be if it had! It would be like magic donuts, but cooler! I mean, sure, the results have been disappointing, but what kind of people would we be if we hadn’t at least tried? We’d be like uneaten donuts!

[Silence.]

Beinart: Look, it was a mistake to replace your engine with a pig and a monkey, and I can admit it. In fact, looking back, I can see how disingenuous I was really being at the time, and that I might have done things differently if it was my engine. That saddens me. But, at any rate, I am still a fabulous mechanic.

Friedman: The Chinese are going to save the world!

Kristol: Shut up, hehe. I have seen no evidence of any pig or monkey, heh. The engine is fine, hehehe. Obviously, the our maintenance hasn’t, heh heh heh, been exactly to your liking, but clearly progress is being made, and anyone arguing against moving forward on this auto repair is only rooting for failure, and undermining the morale of our brave auto technicians, hehe.

America: Why do you keep snickering like that?

Kristol: I can’t help it, hehe.

America: Look, you guys are unbelievable. I can’t believe you came so highly recommended. You obviously know nothing about fixing cars, and don’t give a damn about your customers’ well-being.  That monkey died because of your irresponsible actions and your lazy thinking. This isn’t a game. You should be ashamed. You should close up shop, go home and hang your heads in shame for the rest of your lives.

[Silence.]

Beinart: Yeah… You’re right. Sorry.

Friedman: You know, you’re really great.

America: Who, me?

Kristol: He’s right, you know. You are spectacular and wonderful.

America: [Blushing] Come on…

Beinart: No, really. You’re special and you deserve the world.

America: Shucks. You guys are so nice.

Krauthammer: Um, so you need a new engine, huh?

America: Yeah, I guess I do.

Krauthammer: Can we get that for you?

America: [Perking up]: Well, I don’t see why not!

Krauthammer: Okay! We’ll need the cash up front again, of course.

America: No problem! You take credit?

[End scene.]

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