"Totally coup, yo."

The 50 Most Loathsome Americans of 2010




paula-deen50) Paula Deen
Charges: The A.Q. Khan of the culinary world, her secret recipes are demonstrably more dangerous to America than a nuclear armed North Korea. When not delighting delusional hicks on “Huckabee,” she’s cooking up coronary-clogging treats like the “Luther”—a bacon-topped cheeseburger served between two glazed donuts—whose purported inventor Luther Vandross suffered from diabetes and died of a massive heart explosion. Make no mistake, this insane, evangelical pumpkin-face is trying to send you into the arms of Jesus.
Aggravating factor: “I’m gonna start with my normal ingredient, y’all: one stick of butter.”
Sentence: Steamed and served over a healthy bed of greens.

49) Rick Sanchez
In 1990, Sanchez got drunk at a Dolphins game, paralyzed a guy with his car and drove away. He’d later bring that same diligence to cable news. His CNN show, “Rick’s List,” lazily relied on viewer Tweets and Facebook updates for the superficial analysis its host was woefully unprepared to deliver. His was a career plagued by comical errors, gaffes and an eminently mockable idiocy—like pointing to the Galapagos Islands on a map and calling them Hawaii. Herr Sanchez struck back at his detractors—and signed his own pink slip—by implying that Jews control the media and that Jon Stewart made fun of him, not because of his marked ineptitude, but because of the Elders of Zion. Or something.
Aggravating factor: “When you think of a volcano, you think of Hawaii and long words like that.”
Sentence: Sportscaster gig on ESPN 3; fired for saying African Americans control the NBA. (Or this.)

48) Kim Kardashian
Not content with tacitly rooking half-bright teens by endorsing any weight-loss scam and junk food joint to cross her path, 2010 marks the year she entered the world of outright usury. Her and her sisters’ short-lived, pre-paid Kardashian Kard—because alliteration is a sound reason to enter the kredit industry—was rife with what the Connecticut Attorney General called “pernicious and predatory fees.” Inexplicably famous; no redeeming skills. Her “reality” show is poorly written.
Aggravating factor: “I know people think we drive around in these nice cars and we do whatever we want and our parents will pay our credit cards, but that’s not the case. Sure, my parents were generous. I got a nice car at 16, but at 18 I was cut off. I’ve worked really hard.”
Sentence: Sex tape with DJ Jazzy Jeff; one year in a coal mine.

47) Alvin Greene
More “special” than loathsome, Greene managed to get the Democratic nomination for Senator of South Carolina and, like the rest of us, had no idea how or why. His pre-election media appearances offered only mute consternation regarding how exactly an unemployed dolt who lives with his father raised the $10,440 candidate filing fee. And he never did wow us with a rendition of “Let’s Stay Together.”
Aggravating factor: “Another thing we can do for jobs is make toys of me, especially for the holidays. Little dolls. Me. Like maybe little action dolls. Me in an Army uniform, Air Force uniform, and me in my suit. They can make toys of me and my vehicle, especially for the holidays and Christmas for the kids. That’s something that would create jobs. So you see I think out of the box like that. It’s not something a typical person would bring up. That’s something that could happen, that makes sense. It’s not a joke.”
Sentence: Represented in the Senate by Jim DeMint.

46) Carl Paladino
Old-school racist, homophobe, hypocrite and purveyor of small gubmint horse porn, the would-be NY Governor’s real estate wealth comes largely from government subsidy of distressed properties. The Tea Partier wanted to impose “eminent domain” to stop the “Ground Zero Mosque,” and called for welfare recipients to be housed in old prisons, taught hygiene and used as a source of cheap labor. Carl’s homophobia came across as all the more strange when he insisted to the New York Post’s Fred Dicker, “I’ll take you out, buddy!”
Aggravating factor: “And I don’t want [our children] to be brainwashed into thinking that homosexuality is an equally valid or successful option. It isn’t.”
Sentence: Buttsecks with James Dobson.

45) Gerald Posner
Serial hack and pop culture barnacle, Posner’s books and celebrity reporting contain more lifted lines than Joan River’s face, which he’s also guilty of plagiarizing. Even before being sacked by Tina Brown’s ego-buttressing The Daily Beast, Posner’s vapid beat pointedly answered Fareed Zakaria’s moronic question: “Why do they hate us?”
Aggravating factors: “Although I’m convinced Lee Harvey Oswald assassinated President Kennedy, I’ve always believed that had Mark Lane represented Oswald, he would have won an acquittal. That’s why Mark Lane was the obvious choice as my own attorney.” (Or: “I’m a thieving cocksucker.”)
Sentence: Plastic Surgery Wellness editor at Huffington Post.


44) Julius Genachowski
Charges: Despite agreeing with his Harvard classmate and b-ball buddy Barack Obama to “take a back seat to no one” in his commitment to net neutrality, the FCC Chair let AT&T and Comcast drive new internet “regulations” into the middle of the class war. The new rules read like an industry wish list and ensure that the internet will continue to be awesome—if you can afford it. The rest of us will be stuck with a slow-moving, advert-laden, hard-to-navigate wasteland of bad information. Also, the rules leave wireless largely untouched—meaning it’s arguably within a provider’s right to determine what content you can and cannot access. This will mean something to you when they cut off your pr0n.
Aggravating factor: “I am gratified by the broad support this proposal has already received this morning—including from leading Internet and technology companies…”
Sentence: Rick Rolled to death.

43) Charlie Sheen
This last year Sheen did something so horrendously unfunny as to disturb all decent people. And in addition to taping another season of “Two and a Half Men,” he paid a prostitute to have dinner with him, introduced her to his wife, got double-soused, locked the hooker in a closet and trashed a hotel room.
Aggravating factor: The whole 9/11 Truther thing.
Sentence: Trade places with Emilio Estevez.

42) Haley Barbour
Looks like William Shatner if William Shatner ate a racist butter sculpture of William Shatner. As the oil and death washed ashore in the Gulf, the Mississippi Gov wooed tourists to “[c]ome on down” and “enjoy the beach.” The man was a tobacco lobbyist. He thinks the White Citizens Council is an upstanding organization. He doesn’t give a shit about you or anyone you know.
Aggravating factor: “I just don’t remember [overt racism] as being that bad.”
Sentence: Denied service at his favorite restaurant, blasted with fire hose, attacked by police dogs.

41) Christine O’Donnell
Doesn’t understand that separation of church and state is in the Constitution; doesn’t understand that you can’t pay rent with campaign contributions; doesn’t understand that lying to Nazis would’ve been moral; doesn’t understand that you can’t run for Senate and repeatedly lie about your education without being found out; doesn’t understand that being pro-life in cases of rape and incest makes one a monster; doesn’t understand climate change; doesn’t understand evolution; doesn’t understand that you can’t breed genetically altered mice with fully functional human brains; doesn’t understand that being a single, “chaste” thirty-something who obsessively evangelizes against masturbation and gay sex gives anyone with even a vague appreciation of human nature the likely correct impression that you’ve had your finger in more dykes than the Little Dutch Boy. Just doesn’t understand.
Aggravating factor: “I’m not a witch; I’m you.”
Sentence: Burned at the stake.

40) Charlie Rangel
It’s understood that corruption is our legislators’ raison d’être. Rangel so aptly plays the character of a crime boss that his image should jump to mind whenever you hear the words “member of Congress.” He dresses like John “Dapper Don” Gotti, sounds like Marlon Brando’s Vito Corleone, and looks like the Joker as played by Cesar Romero. Rated by the Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics in Washington as one of the most corrupt congressmen the past three years.
Aggravating factor: If John Q. Douchebag used Congressional letterhead to solicit funds for a college center named in his honor, had $600K in unreported income and assets, and didn’t pay taxes on his Caribbean home—to name three of Rangel’s 13 known violations—he wouldn’t be read a sternly worded letter by Nancy Pelosi. He’d go to jail. For a very long time.
Sentence:Dancing With the Stars.”

39) Brett Favre
He cries so often that it embarrasses John Boehner’s family. Much like unsuspecting NY Jets “Gameday” host Jenn Sterger, you thought you could go your entire life without seeing Favre’s unimpressive member, did you? Sorry, no. No you can’t. That memory will never go away.
Aggravating factor: “Don’t be slappin’ me on my butt like that.”
Sentence: Global Vicodin shortage.

38) Tucker Carlson
A consummate dildo, liar and CATO Institute lackey who has the annoying habit of telling real reporters, “I will destroy you!” Canned by every cable news channel, he slithered over to his own internet crap-fest the Daily Caller, where he had the sour grapes to smear Ezra Klein’s innocuous Journolist as a liberal media conspiracy—after he’d been rejected from joining the listserve himself. Sued for the rights for TuckerCarlson.com, then registered KeithOlbermann.com and used it to send fraudulent emails to a reporter in Philly, using Olbermann’s voice to snipe at his old MSNBC boss Phil Griffin. He’s the kind of guy who ties sweaters around his shoulders and snorts when he laughs. And he’s definitely not gay!
Aggravating factor:
Dan ABRAMS: Tucker, what did you do, by the way? What did you do when [some guy propositioned him in a public bathroom]? We got to know.
CARLSON: I went back with someone I knew and grabbed the guy by the—you know, and grabbed him, and—and—
ABRAMS: And did what?
CARLSON: Hit him against the stall with his head, actually!
Sentence: Must listen to Keith Olbermann read an entire James Thurber novel.

37) Insane Clown Posse
Worst clown PR since John Wayne Gacy. In 2010, their video for “Miracles” had a virus, as the kids say, and dimly highlighted the end of American hegemony. With rhymes weaker than Larry King’s urine stream, the Detroit duo have inexplicably cajoled disaffected teens into wearing clown makeup and attaching social status to Faygo Cola. They’re called Juggalos. And it’s wrong.
Aggravating factor: “Fucking magnets, how do they work?”
Sentence: Forced to deliver the graduation speech for the University of Phoenix Online, they aimlessly wander the hellish Arizona city in search of the campus and die of exposure.

36) Tom Barrack
A satisfying rebuttal to the rumored relationship between wealth and merit. Beset by bourgeois ennui during some “yacht time,” this hedge fund billionaire did what any of us would have—he picked up his daughter’s copy of Twilight. Yes, he read a book written solely to pacify the confusing urges of repressed tweens. It so inspired him that he sent a rambling e-mail to his inferiors, bludgeoning them with his profound insight.
Aggravating factor: “Move your cheese!!!! … The earth is turning on its axis. Planets and moons and suns are in orbit. Gravity is pulling and tugging, and molecules and quarks are warring inside of us. We need movement to live …”
Sentence: Pushing a yacht-sized wheel of Limburger up a steep incline, only to have it roll back down again. Forever.

lebron-james35) LeBron James
Aside from indirectly employing hundreds of Chinese kids in sweatshops, his sole contribution to society is tossing a ball through a hole. A genetic-lottery-winning monstrosity, he demonstrates the sort of unbridled ego deserving of the NBA’s first all-star midget. (Now that little dude can talk all the smack he wants.) Last year, “King” James actually had Nike goons confiscate video of Jordan Crawford dunking on him during his clinic. This year, he imbued his free agency announcement with the import normally reserved for declarations of war. For a full half hour of his torturous hour-long ESPN special “The Decision,” he waxed smugly on topics unrelated, as the sad city of Cleveland nervously awaited the ultimately crushing news that he was going to South Beach. Cleveland, left with no reason to exist, has since slid into Lake Erie. Totally true.
Aggravating factor: “I’m the next O.J.”
Sentence: College.

34) Stefani Germanotta (Lady Gaga)
Charges: A Madonna doppelganger with scoliosis and a knack for trite, overproduced and formulaic drivel. Not nearly as controversial as she imagines. She pissed off Jerry Seinfeld? Meh. My heart’s not really in this one. She makes shitty music. Who fucking cares. Probably you. You sicken me. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
Aggravating factor: Excessive consonant repetition.
Sentence: Tracheotomy.

33) Damon Lindelof
As co-creator of “Lost” and co-writer of the monumentally terrible final episode, Lindelof first conjured a confusing yet entertaining sci-fi epic but then, despite its mechanical sound, the “Smoke Monster” turns out to be the ghost of the father of liberal philosophy, side plots about mental illness and alternate universes go nowhere, paper-thin characters inexplicably commune with the dead, and finally, in a clichéd, Old Testament-inspired supernatural battle, evil is defeated when a big rock dildo is crammed into a shiny hole by a handsome, emotionless doctor. And the whole damn thing—concocted entirely on the fly, with no eye toward resolution—from the plane crash to the time travel was actually just some brightly-lit, stained glass, feel-good, new-age, ecumenical afterlife delirium. Right. Fuck you, Damon Lindelof. Fuck you, for stealing 127 hours of our lives, giving us hope that television needn’t be utterly awful, and then shitting out the most hackneyed, series-diminishing, spiritually pandering, lowest common denominator deus ex machina to ever air on TV. Fuck you. Fuck you with a fake beard.
Aggravating factor: One of his favorite films is Bambi.
Sentence: Something incredibly convoluted, followed by a tremendously unsatisfying ending.

32) Mel Gibson
Once again, he said something so reprehensible that we were forced to hear about Mel Gibson. Drunk, stupid, dumb, misogynist, racist, drunk, raised-by-a-Nazi, anti-Semitic, drunk, persecution complex, fan of torture, narcissistic, moronic, drunk, Uber-Catholic, stem cell Neo-Luddite, inconsequential, drunk Mel Fucking Gibson. We’re tired of hearing about Mel Gibson.
Aggravating factor (to Baby-momma McFakeboobs): “You look like a fucking bitch in heat, and if you get raped by a pack of niggers it’ll be your fault. All right?”
Sentence: Thunderdome.

31) Eddie Long
The Ted Haggard of the Dirty South, he used his position as Baptist mega-preacher to coerce at least four young men into having sex with him, lavishing gifts, money and weird biblical justifications on them for even weirder DL quasi-marriages. Embezzled $3 million from his own charity. Recipient of a Bush-era $1 million faith-based initiative grant for his hypocritical quest to “cure” homosexuality, which is the modern-day equivalent of skin bleaching and marks the ignominious end of the civil rights movement. Looks tight in a spandex onesie.
Aggravating factor: “Men can look attractive when they are dirty. We see sweating, dirty, hardworking men on television all the time and we say to one another, ‘There’s a macho guy.’”
Sentence: Huge lawsuit settlement; sex with wife.

30) Mitch McConnell
Yet another example of the direct proportionality of evil to jowl size. In pronouncing that his most important job as Senate Minority Leader is to limit Obama to one term, McConnell accentuated the craven political discourse in which we now wallow. With two wars going and the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression, the opposition leader might think that, but he’s not supposed to say it. But the gaffe of the Senate’s most pandering shill barely registered in the era of “Don’t retreat! Reload!”
Aggravating factor: “I mean, let’s be honest. Who wants to hang out with guys like Paul Krugman and Robert Reich, when you can be with Rush Limbaugh!”
Sentence: Second turtle stand-in at the forthcoming Noah’s Ark amusement park.

29) George W. Bush
Worst. President. Ever. Should be in hiding for fear of prison or mob violence, but he was yukking it up on the talk shows, joking about his dad’s withered nutsack and promoting his ghost-plagiarized, revisionist memoir Decision Points, for which he was paid an obscene $7 million for the first printing alone. Told Matt Lauer on “Today” that “one of the most disgusting moments” of his presidency was when Kanye West said, “George Bush doesn’t care about black people,” which was the least offensive outburst of West’s outburst-plagued career. So a megalomaniac pop star’s unscripted slight was worse than 9/11, Abu Ghraib, the Haditha massacre, the Virginia Tech shootings and the roughly 2,000—mostly African American—Katrina casualties, which West was referring to and you were largely responsible for due to criminal levels of sloth, indifference and incompetence? Motherfucker.
Aggravating factor: Remember when he went to Haiti after the earthquake, shook that guy’s hand and then wiped his hand on Bill Clinton’s sleeve? That.
Sentence: Made to read Decision Points in jail.

28) Stanley McChrystal
Incredible stupidity. Lulled by the media’s usually fawning deference to the DoD, McChrystal and his staff trash-talked their superiors and diplomatic counterparts in front of Rolling Stone’s Michael Hastings, as if reporting what people say isn’t the sole purpose of a reporter. McChrystal’s crew pled “exaggeration,” but in the end he resigned his Afghan Command with the professionalism he failed to demonstrate while Hastings was around. Worse yet were the sycophantic cries of “You can’t report on what the military says! It’s an unwritten rule!” emanating from the usual torpid hacks like National Review editor Rich Lowry. This is McChrystal’s fault in that he did not indefinitely detain and torture Lowry many years ago, for reasons unrelated yet absolutely justified.
Aggravating factor: His favorite movie is Talladega Nights.
Sentence: Four Star General Manager of a KFC.

27) Mario Armando Lavandeira, Jr. (Perez Hilton)
Charges: Posting a pic of a seventeen-year-old’s twat on Twitter is borderline pedophilia, but since he’s a professional fag and Miley Cyrus is a professional annoyance, the moral outrage only lasted one news cycle. Perez’s toddleresque slams on celebrity and generally repulsive demeanor are the major reason homophobia still exists.
Aggravating factor: Looks like Buster Poindexter cross-pollinated with the kid from Jerry Maguire.
Sentence: A tour in Afghanistan.

26) Jim Bob Duggar
Charges: Named Jim Bob. Won’t stop fucking; won’t pull out. Intent on creating an army of maladjusted, fundamentalist children who hug sideways because they’re afraid to bump junk and go to hell. Condemning said progeny to lives of vast ignorance via creationist homeschooling, and then exploiting them on TLC’s “19 Kids and Counting” (formerly “18 Kids…” and “17 Kids…”). He’s the reason the world laughs at us.
Aggravating Factor: “As far as like overpopulation, I mean, there’s really a myth of overpopulation. The whole world’s population could fit into the city limits of Jacksonville, Florida.”
Sentence: Chemical castration.


25) David Brooks
The Bernie Madoff of American letters, every tortured construct and inaccurate assumption ever set to print by this annoyingly self-described “Bourgeoisie Bohemian” is a fraudulent attempt to justify why his house is more expensive than yours. Brooks couldn’t even wait for the bodies to cool after the Haiti earthquake before writing about how useless it is to send money because those voodoo-lovin’ savages simply can’t be helped.
Aggravating factor: “It’s time to find self-confident local leaders who will create No Excuses countercultures in places like Haiti, surrounding people—maybe just in a neighborhood or a school—with middle-class assumptions, an achievement ethos and tough, measurable demands.”
Sentence: Buried under rubble; cholera.

24) Sharron Angle
Imagine the most viscerally repugnant, deeply moronic and pathologically regressive position one could hold on any given issue. Good. Now imagine Sharron Angle cackling maniacally at whatever comparatively feeble hippie shit you came up with. This hyper-religious thing once crusaded against a high school football jersey because she thinks black is a wicked color. Whatever the issue—gay rights, women’s rights, human rights, Social Security, Scientology, science, Latino v. Asian, etc. ad infinitum—Sharron Angle’s backward position would embarrass most medieval peasants.
Aggravating factor: “Well it’s to defend ourselves. And you know, I’m hoping that we’re not getting to Second Amendment remedies. I hope the vote will be the cure for the Harry Reid problems.”
Sentence: Elected Queen of the Mariana Trench.

23) Joe Barton (R-TX)
Charges: A former oil company consultant, “Smokey” Joe is a potent combination of corrupt and cretinous. As former Chair of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, he commissioned the widely debunked climate change skeptic Wegman Report, feeding the authors spurious data. He was a driving force in shaping the fossil fuel industry boondoggle known as the ’05 House Energy Policy Act. He can’t fathom the concept of continental drift. And he thinks wind power will increase global warming because wind is “God’s way of balancing heat.”
Aggravating factor: “I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation [BP] can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown.”
Sentence: Drowned in a shallow pool of pig vomit.

22) Tyra Banks
Charges: Her eponymous talk show, which once booked an eleven-year-old girl under false pretenses only to have her face a convicted pedophile via satellite, finally ended this year. Tyra’s frenzied ego-fever did not. The winner of last season’s ode to body dysmorphia “Auschwitz’s America’s Next Top Model” was so disturbingly thin that her torso could be used as a bulimia aid. And this ideal of supposed beauty was brought to us by a woman dense enough to think she could wear a fat suit for a few hours and truly know the plight of the obese.
Aggravating factor: Whatever this is.
Sentence: Used to test a new line of rabbit makeup.

21) James O’Keefe III
Like Sacha Baron Cohen mixed with G. Gordon Liddy’s fetid stool. Embodies every sniveling, Docker-clad College Republican to ever overlook the 9th fairway and obtusely bemoan lower class entitlements. A Breitbart disciple, he sparked the ruin of ACORN, an honorable advocacy group for the poor, by dressing like a pimp and editing like Leni Riefenstahl. In college, he decried learning about foreign cultures because he considered it an affront to American values. Those same values went unperturbed by the white supremacist meetings he’s attended. This year, he got busted trying to mess with Senator Landrieu’s office phones and attempting to “seduce” CNN’s Abbie Boudreau on a boat with fuzzy handcuffs and porn. Lately he’s been stalking a New Jersey special ed provider in order eliminate any remaining doubt about what an asshole he is.
Aggravating factor: “It is time, as Hannah said as we walked out of the ACORN facility, for conservative activists to ‘create chaos for glory.’”
Sentence: Sold into Bacha Bazi.

20) Mark Zuckerberg
In the backhanded tradition of tech dickery, Zuckerburg brazenly pilfered the idea which allows you to neurotically tend that asshole from high school’s virtual farm while not getting any work done. The Facebook founder’s fortune comes in part from selling your information to third parties via default privacy settings. After vowing to donate half of his some $7 billion to charity, as transparent PR in the wake of The Social Network, he got into bed with the execrable Goldman Sachs and a Russian investment firm run by a convicted extortionist to recoup the loss. Invented “poking.” And he’s actually trying to trademark the word “face.”
Aggravating factor (from his business card): “i’m CEO … bitch.”
Sentence: Whatever Tom Anderson’s doing right now.

19) Jenny McCarthy
OK. Dr. Andrew Wakefield’s been revealed as a fraud and conman, and his study linking autism to the MMR vaccine was fully retracted by The Lancet. The “debate” is done, but this former Playboy Bunny is not. She initially believed her son Evan was an “Indigo child” (a creepy, Aryan wunderkind with telepathic powers), but after that didn’t pan out, she needed another equally plausible explanation for his condition and desperately latched onto the vaccine conspiracy. By convincing easily-duped moms that vaccines aren’t safe, she’s endangered their kids, compromised herd immunity and killed more Americans than terrorists have in the last nine years. And that’s not hyperbole.
Aggravating factor: “I did a lot of digging on my own, the ‘University of Google.’”
Sentence: Measles, mumps, rubella.

18) Andrew Breitbart
Partly responsible for the abysmal online apothecary known as The Huffington Post and the career of James O’Keefe, whom he taught everything he doesn’t know. His Drudge-inspired bullshit finally hit the fan in July when he posted an out of context video excerpt of USDA employee Shirley Sherrod that implied she was a racist. But like the implication of Brietbart’s hetero marriage, the truth of the matter was the exact opposite.
Aggravating factor: “You [Max Blumenthal] destroy people. Because you try to destroy people’s lives through innuendo. Innuendo!”
Sentence: Outed by Matt Drudge.

17) Rand Paul
Nicknamed and molded after a writer whose sheer intellectual repugnance spawned an entire generation of thinly-veiled Social Darwinists. He tried to equate racial discrimination with “free speech,” saying that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was tantamount to big government regulation. Cried, “Medicare is socialized medicine!” while hypocritically deriving half of his ophthalmology income from Medicaid and Medicare. Portrayed criticism of BP’s little “accident” as an “un-American” symptom of our “blame-game society.” And then there was that befuddling college prank where he and another secret-frat dildo tied up a girl, blindfolded her, made her do bong hits, dragged her to a creek bed and forced her to swear allegiance to “Aqua Buddha.” Way to go, Kentucky, he’s your Senator. You embarrass us all, you curb-stomping apes, for so many reasons, Ark-related and not.
Aggravating factor: “Well, the thing is, we’re all interconnected. There are no rich. There are no middle class. There are no poor.”
Sentence: Raped in a quarry by Evil Frank Gehry.

16) Pastor Terry Jones
The Aerosmith to Fred Phelps’s Stones, Jones sparked worldwide controversy over his “Burn a Koran Day,” but when it came time to light the match, he flaked like a hate-filled croissant. His little-attended Dove World Outreach Center is a tax-exempt front group for TS & Co., a for-profit that buys and sells furniture on eBay. TS & Co. is staffed by his cult members, who live on site, are not paid and aren’t allowed to communicate with their families. His rampant homo-hating is all the more grating because he has the gayest facial hair since the Brawny paper towel guy.
Aggravating factor: “Tolerance is destroying our nation.”
Sentence: Inevitable gay sex scandal.

15) John Boehner
Cries so often he embarrasses Glenn Beck’s family. An incorrigibly lazy corporate puppet who owes his emotional instability to legendary Merlot consumption and his radioactive Naugahyde complexion to innumerable special interest golf junkets. His first notable act in Congress was to hand out tobacco lobby checks on the House floor before a vote on anti-smoking legislation; his PAC received $30K from Abramoff-affiliated tribes; he lived in an apartment owned by lobbyist John Milne; he knew about Mark Foley’s page perversion and sat on it. More recently, he compared the financial crisis to an ant and the weak Dodd-Frank bill to a nuke—while concurrently trying to block unemployment benefits. And the most egregious aspect of his drunken weeping on “60 Minutes,” about kids having the same education opportunities he did, is that he’s scored hundreds of thousands from for-profit schools and the student loan industry—even sponsoring legislation that would slash public loan funding and redirect it to his golf buddy’s company Sallie Mae. He’s the kind of amoral opportunist who would campaign for Nazi reenactor Rich Iott in secret, not because there is any chance in hell of winning, but because Iott’s stinking rich and bound to repay the favor.
Aggravating factor: “The only way we’re going to get our economy going again and solve our budget problems is to get the economy moving.”
Sentence: Lung cancer.

14) Barack Obama
Outside of his promise to never end the pointless war in Afghanistan, his word has the integrity of Halliburton cement. Whether it was a “robust” public option, real net neutrality, importing prescription drugs, barring lobbyists from serving in the White House, meaningful Wall Street reform or ending the Bush tax cuts for the disgustingly wealthy, our President caved like the Metrodome under the weight of a bloated oligarchy. Most irksome, he seemed dignified doing it.
Aggravating factor: Authorized the assassination of Americans accused of terrorism.
Sentence: Primary challenge from the Rent is 2 Damn High guy.

13) Mohamed Mohamud
The would-be terrorist so nice they named him after a violent pedophile. Twice. Escalated the War on Christmas® to the explosively tangible, when he tried to blow up a tree lighting ceremony. So stupid he couldn’t spot a sting if it starred Robert Redford. Gives everyone of Somali descent a bad name—even the pirates—and justifies insane right-wing hate of brown Muslims. Lived in Portland.
Aggravating factor: “It’s gonna be a fireworks show … a spectacular show … New York Times will give it two thumbs up.”
Sentence: Married to Pamela Geller.

12) Pamela Geller
The Woodward to Orly Taitz’s Bernstein, publisher of the mendacious blog Atlas Shrugs and co-founder of the hate group Stop Islamization of America. She was the bigoted fountainhead of hysteria over the “Ground Zero Mosque,” which is neither a mosque, nor located at Ground Zero, but rather a former, and totally sacred, Burlington Coat Factory. Her pathological falsehoods include, but are not limited to, the claims that the Bosnian Genocide was actually a clever Muslim mass-suicide/sympathy campaign, Obama—the undercover Muslim—is the love child of Malcolm X, his mom was a porno worker, and that Jewish Supreme Court Justice Elena Kagan is a Nazi. This lunatic makes Ann Coulter seem the very model of civility, reason and grace.
Aggravating factor: “I don’t know where it is in America that you can’t make jokes or make fun.”
Sentence: Sharia Law in a five-foot radius around Pam Geller.

11) Roger Ailes
His entire life is an object lesson in pernicious mendacity. Before being named Fox News President/Rupert Murdoch henchman, he was a consultant for Nixon, Reagan, Elder Bush and Rudy Giuliani. Party to News Corp.’s $1 million donation to the Republican Governors Association; ultimately responsible for Fox News Washington managing editor Bill Sammon’s fiendish email, which ordered Fox employees to use the term “government option” in place of “public option,” and more recently, responsible for Sammon’s missive requiring staff to challenge the “veracity of climate change data.” In granting the Tea Party media saturation, and employing demagogues like Beck, O’Reilly and Hannity, Ailes has absolutely destroyed the impartiality of the fourth estate and made a large segment of the population ever more stupider.
Aggravating factor: “They [NPR] are, of course, Nazis. They have a kind of Nazi attitude. They are the left wing of Nazism. These guys don’t want any other point of view.”
Sentence: Gassed by Garrison Keillor.

10) John McCain
If you were in a coma during the ‘o8 election or too young to remember McCain’s role in the Keating Five/Savings and Loan scandal, his stance against MLK Day or his betrayal of the dinosaurs, you may have been under the false impression that he was one of the few Republicans to not be a pandering piece of shit. 2010 fully erased that unfounded myth, as he flip-flopped like beached salmon on immigration reform, the border fence, climate change and the repeal of DADT in a race to the bottom against his Tea Party opponent J.D. Hayworth. Ultimately responsible for raising Sarah Palin to national consciousness.
Aggravating factor: “Today [the day DADT was repealed] is a very sad day.”
Sentence: McCainLemonParty.gov. (I am so sorry for putting that image in your head.)

9) Tea Partiers
Openly racist and lying about it, uber-religious, hyper-hypocritical, usually-tetched old codgers who wheel around in their Medicare-provided Hoverounds® and rage against fiscally irresponsible social programs, like Medicare, because they’re too dumb to realize that they’re co-opted, Machiavellian mouthpieces of greedy billionaires.
Aggravating factor: They elected some 40 candidates to Congress.
Sentence: The consequences of their actions.

8) Jan Brewer
Gila Monster eugenics gone horrible awry. Killed two people, and another ninety-six languish, unable to afford the life-saving transplants for which she slashed state funding. Cut health care for kids too. Hates health care. Horny for the NRA; signed law nixing concealed carry permits, which had no ill effects in 2010. None. Don’t worry about it. Not a problem. Seriously. It’s totally cool. Attempted to justify the draconian racial profiling law SB 1070 by repeatedly citing fictional desert decapitations. Lambasted as the Himmler of the Southwest, she protested, saying her father died fighting the Nazis. He was never in the military. He died in ’51. From lung cancer.
Aggravating factor: “God has placed me in this powerful position as Arizona’s governor.”
Sentence: Followed everywhere by a mirror; subsequent heart attack.

7) Glenn Beck
Cries so often he’d embarrass himself—if he could feel embarrassed or ashamed about anything. In his early radio career he made an on-air call to mock a man over his wife’s miscarriage. And he’s gotten progressively more vile. This year, he besmirched the antiwar legacy of Martin Luther King Jr. with his contemptible military worshiping “Restoring Honor” white power religious rally. But it was OK, he demurred, because he didn’t stand on the same exact step of the Lincoln Memorial. His dyslexic game of “Pin the Paranoid Delusion on the George Soros” directly inspired at least three would-be assassins (in 2010). A Latter Day, Romper Room Father Coughlin who screams “eugenic” as frequently as sane people say “hello.”
Aggravating factor: ”You’re going to have to shoot [democrats] in the head.”
Sentence: Banished to the planet Kolob.

6) Sarah Palin
An ideologically abhorrent dunce whose answer to everything—caribou, wolves, Julian Assange, feminism, science, decency, accountability, the English language, Democratic incumbents—is to shoot it dead. From conspiring to advance her ham-legged, clopping daughter on “Dancing with the Stars” to successfully endorsing a slew of faux-revolutionary Tea Party imbeciles, she’s a persistent, violent rash on the entire body politic.
Aggravating factor: “But obviously, we’ve got to stand with our North Korean allies.”
Sentence: Shot in the head by a bear.

5) Don Blankenship
A coal baron of such cartoon villainy, he makes Lex Luthor seem an incompetent hack. As CEO of Massey Energy, it’s Don’s legal obligation to cut every corner and maximize profits—profits he then uses to bankroll his own candidates, slander incumbent judges as pedo-lovers, and throw nightmarish mountaintop removal parties featuring Ted Nugent. The death of 29 at the Upper Big Branch mine explosion in April left Blankenship less remorseful than combative, as Massey actually blamed the Mine Safety & Health Administration’s new ventilation requirements. This is despite the fact that Blankenship once sent out a company memo that read, “If any of you have been asked by your group presidents, your supervisors, engineers or anyone else to do anything other than run coal (i.e., build overcasts, do construction jobs, or whatever) you need to ignore them and run coal.” But in a way it is the MSHA’s fault; it’s simply cheaper for corporate criminals like Massey to pay the occasional million dollar fine than it is to ensure the safety of its workers. It’s just smart business.
Aggravating factor: “Most people wouldn’t believe that coal is the most important thing to the environment.”
Sentence: Crushed under a short ton of coal.

4) Justices Alito, Kennedy, Roberts, Scalia and Thomas
Their majority opinion in Citizens United v. FEC was the worst decision since Scalia instituted SCOTUS Hot Pants Fridays. In lifting a century-long restriction on corporate campaign spending, the Justices flouted a firmly-ingrained precedent and finally provided examples of the nefarious and mythical “Activist Judge.” The original case dealt with the very narrow issue of whether Citizen’s hit-piece/documentary Hillary: The Movie was “electioneering communication” under McCain-Feingold. A district court panel ruled that it was and, hence, could be regulated. Citizens appealed, and the Roberts court took it upon itself to hear the case and inexplicably broaden its scope into a corporate free-speech issue. This is the very definition of “legislating from the bench” and ensures our elections will be dominated by well-funded Swift Boating for the foreseeable future. If democracy was an experiment, this case blew up the lab.
Aggravating factor: “I will remember that it’s my job to call balls and strikes and not to pitch or bat.” -Chief Justice Roberts
Sentence: Bitch-slapped by Judge Joe Brown. But, no, seriously, they should reverse that decision. It’s not good.

3) David J. Lesar – Halliburton CEO
Charges: Although his company’s moved its HQ to Dubai, he’s the kind of capitalist malefactor only America could tolerate. Halliburton charges U.S. taxpayers $45 for a six-pack of Coke in Iraq and $100 for a load of laundry, and its subsidiary KBR’s shoddy shower wiring has electrocuted soldiers to death. Like some crooked home contractor writ enormous, Halliburton knowingly provided cheap, faulty cement for the Deep Water Horizon and just hoped no one would notice. We noticed, asshole.
Aggravating factor: “Will things go wrong? Sure they will; it’s a war zone. But when they do, we’ll fix it. We always have. … We’re serving our troops because of what we know, not who we know.”
Sentence: Top kill, bottom kill, just killed.

2) David & Charles Koch
In a land filthy with noxious liars, these two are the filthiest. Their dad founded the ridiculous John Birch Society which claimed fluoridated tap water was a Communist mind-control plot—while his company built oil refineries for Stalin. And they’ve not fallen far from the despicable hypocrite tree. Koch Industries, the second biggest privately-held company in the country, generates its annual $98 billion in profits from coal mining, stealing oil from Indian reservations, refining and piping Canadian tar sands oil, and every other clear-cut, mountaintop-removing environmental abomination under the sun. How they make money is dirty; how they spend it is dirtier. From free-market-humping think tanks CATO and Heartland to Tea Party-backing Americans for Prosperity and Freedom Works, they invest vulgar amounts of money in misappropriating populist rage and misinforming the ignorant masses on climate change, tax reform, environmental policy, health care, and any other issue that could cut into their fat bottom line.
Aggravating factor: In a philanthropy-meets-disinformation masterstroke, the Smithsonian’s new $15 million David H. Koch Hall of Human Origins is a climate change whitewash, which teaches that destroying our environment is no big deal because we can just adapt and evolve.
Sentence: Fed to the Kraken.

1) You
Your brain’s been cobbled together over millions of years of blind evolution and it shows. You’re clumsy, stupid, weak and motivated by the basest of urges. Your MO is both grotesquely selfish and unquestionably deferential to questionable authority. You’re not in control of your life. You wear your ignorance like a badge of honor and gleefully submit to oppression, malfeasance and kleptocracy. You will buy anything. You will believe anything. You believe that evolution is a matter of belief. You likely scrolled down to #1, without reading the rest, because you’re an impatient, semi-literate Philistine who’s either unable or unwilling to digest more than 140 characters at a time. You think Epic Beard Man is a national hero and that Bradley Manning might be Eli and Peyton’s brother. You believe in American exceptionalism despite the contrary, compelling and overwhelming evidence. You tacitly partake in all manner of atrocity without batting a lash. You’re actively participating in our species’ extinction and you’re either in denial or you just don’t give a shit. You escape into every sort of mind-numbing distraction and ridiculous, convoluted fantasy, so you don’t have to face the bitter, terrifying fact that your life is utterly meaningless.
Aggravating factors: The careers of Rush Limbaugh, Oprah Winfrey, John Stossel and Justin Bieber; the success of The Secret, “Medium” and Atlas Shrugged; the election of Rand Paul; the existence of Kentucky, Texas and “Sarah Palin’s Alaska.”
Sentence: Bad teeth, an affinity for afternoon tea and the guilt-plagued, nostalgic psyche of a fallen empire.


Written & Illustrated by Ian Murphy, with contributions from M.D. Caigoy and Paul Fallon. Secular guidance provided by Josh Bunting.



EDITOR’S NOTE: 2010 was the most loathsome year on record, and it was difficult choosing between the literally hundreds of deserving scoundrels who could’ve made this year’s list. Some people are perpetually awful and we’re tired of writing about how awful they are, so there are some intentionally glaring omissions. We surely missed someone you hate. We missed a lot of people I hate. Check out the Loathsome Americans from 2002, (the dog eated it in 2003) 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 and 2009 (wow, we’re getting old) before your head explodes because your favorite asshole isn’t featured above.

Oh, and like us on teh Facebooks and teh Twitters. Or whatever the kids are doing. And if you really liked this piece, click below on the picture of the delicious sandwich I have on layaway. Come on! I really want that sandwich! And I promise not to use your money to buy drugs. OK, I might use some of your money to buy drugs. But it’s really about getting that sandwich. And all that business about “You” being “loathsome” was just a little bit of fun. I meant everyone else, not you. You’re awesome. Really. I’m poor. Give me your money. Thanks.


Corrections: This article previously stated that Journolist was Dave Weigel’s creation. Though Weigel resigned from his WaPo blog over his involvement, the listserv was actually created by Ezra Klein. This piece also previously stated that Rand Paul was named after Ayn Rand. His given name is Randal; he chose to call himself Rand, which is far more disturbing. It’s also been rumored that Ron Paul considered naming him Aynus, so he could shorten that as well. We regret the errors.

  • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting


  • http://reddit.com viskarenvisla

    Pft. No sammich for you. You’re describing my parent’s generation and a couple thousand retarded people my age. However yes. I would agree with the majority of the list. Especially with Obama being so high up there. I had really high hopes for that asshole. At the very least I’ve learned not to trust ANYONE.

  • Beast_Fan

    Awesome list, and I’m happy “You” was #1.

  • Chris

    Nice list this year. Barack Obama really should have been closer to #1 though. Two years ago it was impossible to conceive of anybody being so inept and corrupt that they could possibly resuscitate the dessicated corpse of he discredited Republican Party, but somehow that asshole found a way.

  • Gman

    Nicely done, esp. #1. That took some guts, I think.

  • Bob

    You left out Rush Bimbo ???

  • JimNorth


  • http://peel-me.blogspot.com/ Hugo Lindquist

    Brutal year for the shills and cons, but the 2011 list promises to be rich. Fun read.

  • Brack

    Excellent work as usual! Thanks gentlemen! The high point of my whole winter! (I need to fucking get out more I guess)

  • feline godless

    Awesome list. Enlightening. It seems that most of loathsome the perps…er, uh…peeps are the ones shouting the loudest about immorality and/or amorality & the ‘downfall of amurarrika’. Just sayin’.

  • feline godless

    Correction: “…most of the loathsome perps…”

  • Crab

    It’s almost as if the person who composed this list is some kind of self-righteous liberal with the mistaken impression that he is better than other people…

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.

    Shit, dude, are the Kochs portrayed as Pope Innocent X, via Bacon?

    I’d like to portray them as mangled corpses. IRL. They’re traitors and (passive) murderers.

  • Marcos

    Interesting. Only #1 doesn’t fit, because I’m not American.

  • http://oldestgenxer.wordpress.com/ oldestgenxer

    what a surprise. you hate all the conservatives for being conservative, and the libs you hate for not being liberal enough. I hope you have more to bitch about this year.
    add me to your list, bitch.

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  • Doctor Gentleman

    As a British citizen, I must object as your use of quintessential Britishness as a fitting punishment for the entirety of the American people.

    They don’t deserve that.

  • Lara

    To the author, Re: #1, your SXSW/Austin tourism rights have hereby been revoked. Enjoy hearing about how awesome Austin is from all your friends who flock here like swallows every spring.

    Otherwise, great article!

  • Dan

    Haley Barbour “Looks like William Shatner if William Shatner ate a racist butter sculpture of William Shatner”.

    That’s possibly the most delightfully perfect turn of phrase I’ve read in weeks.

  • coachmcguirk

    This is actually one of the best lists of anything I’ve ever read. You even put Obama on that, and I didn’t think you would. The only person I would leave off the list is Damon Lindelof. He’s not a loathsome person at all. Even though I was severely disappointed in how Lost ended, the show itself is the best I’ve ever watched.

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  • Jambalaya

    Couldn’t you have put Colin Cowherd on this list? A guy who deserves to have his voicebox cut out with a rusty wire and be forced to watch a neverending loop of the T.Ocho show.

  • mepmep09

    Regarding #38: Journolist wasn’t Dave Weigel’s doing – although Weigel was a participant, and his presence there helped end his short-lived tenure as a Washington Post writer/blogger (his departure also facilitated by widespread careless/lazy reporting, along with a big heapin’ helpin’ of corporate cowardice on the part of WaPo). But Journolist itself was started by Ezra Klein, who (perhaps ironically) is currently doing quite well as a WaPo online writer/blogger.

    Otherwise, yep, Tucker the Weasel definitely deserves to be on this list. Well done, Murphy & Beast Collective!

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.


    I agree wholeheartedly with your unsubstantiated ridicule. I can also sympathize with your sense of indignation. Right wing and right moderate perspectives are shockingly underrepresented in the mainstream media.

    God-willing, old, white, upper-class conservatives will have a voice in America. Someday.

  • http://jammer5spolyrant.wordpress.com/ jammer5

    Pure fucking brilliance. Should be required reading in every institutions of both higher and lower learning in America. Maybe even Idaho.

  • http://thefishshow.com/Archive/WATCHMEN%20UNMASKED.htm Avenging World

    RE: Me -
    You forgot about the whole 9-11 Truther thing.

  • voreason

    Right on the mark. Extremely funny and well-written. Every word worth reading.

    You get an A+.

    I only hope it is read by more than 86 people.

  • Orly Taintz

    RE: Avenging World -
    No, that was covered… see the part about “mind-numbing distraction and ridiculous, convoluted fantasy.”

  • http://twitter.com/leducviolet leducviolet

    Posting a pic of a seventeen-year-old’s twat on Twitter is borderline ephebophilia, not pedophilia, which is sexualization of prepubescents. HTH


    And snookie…for obvious reasons.

  • dudleydickerson

    Hi there, Mr. Brainy Man. Perhaps your intellectual powers can guide us to the section of the Constitution where the “separation of church and state” resides….

  • Mark in Rochester

    A singularly brilliant list, rife with the fetid, ballsy descriptions one would expect from attentive, talented, and bone crushingly accurate writers and contributors. Your PayPal account is larger by a donation.
    Enjoy the sammich.

  • the rest of the world

    finally someone is seeing what the rest of us have to witness on every stupid news channel and god awful movie that is violently churned out of the US.

  • admin

    @ mepmep09 – You are absolutely correct. The error has been fixed. Thank you.

    @ leducviolet – You are absolutely correct. But no one knows what that is, so I’m going to leave it.

    @ dudleydickerson – Die. Please. Die

    @ Mark in Rochester – You the man, man. Thanks!

  • Ben

    You judge me, with your No 1 listing….

    F you and all your kind….exactly, who are you again?

  • Canuckistani Peace Lord

    Don’t know all of these folks (how nice for me, apparently) and a bit sad that Barry made it at all, but from those I DO know (of), I’m thinking you hit the nail on all 50 heads this year. The testicularity required to announce, and the indisputable accuracy of, number 1 kind of gave me the creeps though. All that crap served on a succulent bed of lyrical verbiage. Delectable on many levels.

  • http://irrelevantprocess.blogspot.com mxh

    Nice. This list pretty much matches my own (and “you” would definitely be #1 for me).

  • http://grooving2music.com Toni

    Sadly you are so right. All I can think about are all the left-overs, many of them right here in the Old North State. Makes me remember why I don’t watch the news.

  • Valkyrie607

    Ahhh gawd that was hilarious.

    I mean I seriously laughed out loud like several times, and I’m not talking about the tiny, gentle little snort of amusement that “LOL” normally refers to. If they really had Mitch McConnell subbing for a turtle at the Noah’s Ark Park, I would drive all the way to KY to see it. I bet a lot of people would. Heck, maybe Ken Ham’s delusional projections of jobs and economic benefits the Ark Park might bring would come true.

  • Valkyrie607

    And no you can’t have any of my money. I’m poor too. But, you know, other people should give this guy money.

  • Josh

    As much as ICP sucks, people need to stop acting like they’re just brainwashing america’s youth now. They’ve been doing that for a good 11 years.

  • http://open.salon.com/blog/lary9 Lary Nine

    Wow! I never came in #1 in anything! Thanks.
    PS: I did read the entire list from 50 down…excellent choices and justifications.

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  • Devil Child

    I can’t believe Linda McMahon isn’t on this list, though it still wouldn’t have made this list suck any less cock.

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  • Russ

    @ crab – Your comment was correct, but redundant. You could have ended with the word “liberal”. The rest was implicit.

  • http://bookspromiscuouslyread.blogspot.com/ Nullifidian

    Came for the Rand-fisking; stayed for the Most Loathsome Americans… and it was worth the wait.

    And here come “Crab”, “dudleydickerson”, and “Russ” to justify everything you wrote in entry #1.

  • http://www.moronosphere.com/ Karl Elvis MacRae

    Most accurate review of lady gaga I’ve ever seen.

  • Anthony

    I was pleasantly surprised to see Lebron James and ICP this year. Great list all around. I think “I” should remain at number one in perpetuity, as I truly do loathe myself!

  • Chuck Fernandez

    Rick Sanchez was never charged with the accident. He was never responsible for “paralyzing” anyone. He also did not “drive away.” The car never left the scene. Very sloppy. You should be sued.

  • You

    First off, terrific list that I very much enjoyed reading.

    Second, to our right-wing, republican, tea party, conservative, old, white motherfuckers out there – and their ignorant, inbred, backwoods, religious, fanatical, Noah’s Ark believing mouthpieces:

    SHUT THE FUCK UP! We’re, more or less, tired of you stupid ass load mouth dumb-ass hicks thinking that you’re going to be rich too some day. You’re not. You’re the working poor. Or you’re the poor. If you’re the wealthy, then suck my cock too you bitch.

    Wake up people. Wake up to reality. I just can’t fathom how you people go day to day, anywhere on the planet but most certainly anywhere in America, thinking that this life we live – this despicable life of feeding off the misfortunes of others, of driving our fellow humans to the brink of extinction, for allowing wealthy old white motherfuckers to continue to hold their boots on your throats – how do you do it? How do you live with yourselves? Can’t you people see how wrong this all is?

    Can’t you understand that the true measure of greatness lies not in ones ability to capitalize and profit, but in one ability to create and to share? Can you imagine what things we could do as a race if we just embraced one another as equals and worked together for the better of all humanity? We could do absolutely anything.

    So sad we’re all going to perish at the direction of the few. So sad indeed.

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  • Matt Stahl

    Fuck you! You had me with you until #1. No way to win friends and influence people. So go fuck yourself while I take out the recycling, tend to my backyard garden, ride a bike when I can, and hypermile when I have to drive.

  • BlueEyedVideot

    I disagree with putting Lady Gaga on this list. You may not appreciate her songs or her performance stagecraft, however you can’t deny she put her whole career on the line when she came out in strong support of the repeal of DADT–AND got it passed.

    You should be giving Lady Gaga an award. After all, when have you seen a noted bisexual pop star kick the asses of congress and the Pentagon and get them to do the right thing for a change.

    In stead of being on this list, you should owe her an apology followed by an American Freedom Award.

  • Tom Brady’s Pinache

    “Sad city of Cleveland” suffered at hands of LeBron? Come one, even you guys? I’d expect that view from People. Most of Miami is impoverished, much poorer and sadder than Cleveland. The slums of Miami could use a superstar like LeBron much more than “sad” Cleveland, which, again, isn’t nearly as sad economically as most of Miami. LeBron’s an asshole, but not for leaving Cleveland.

  • Tom Brady’s Pinache

    “You think Epic Beard Man is a national hero”


    LOL! Perfect.

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  • Joe

    Primary these nuts.

  • Screw You

    I don’t have time to read every single one of these entries because I have a job and have better things to do with my time. What I saw however was the text book rant of a typical outraged disingenuous white liberal.

    You live in an ideological fantasy land, where countries don’t take over other countries for resources, people aren’t motivated by self interest, and politicians are honest and forthright. Pull your head out of your ass.

  • Rope Burns

    Forgot one!

    1) The circle-jerk posse of self-important assholes who put this list together

  • Rope Burns

    It is amusing, I’ll admit, to read the mindless jottings of a bunch of folks who will be lucky in a few years to get a job at Starbucks.

    But fuck off, all of you, really.

  • Pup

    Rather concerned that I’m #1 considering I’m not actually American or in America, yet am already living the sentence. :/

  • http://andrewensminger.wordpress.com Andrew

    It’s Peyton, not Payton.

  • edirv

    Separation of church and state is not mentioned or referred to in the Constitution,

  • michael

    Calling Mohamed a ‘violent pedophile’….so have you ordered extra security yet?

  • superguest

    So, Murphy, your sort of a cunt, aren’t you?

  • Greggah

    Although I agree with most of this I find it curious how you call people out for being complacent and submissive yet include Jenny McCarthy for questioning the safety of vaccines and accusing the pharmaceutical companies, Doctors, CDC, and FDA of putting profits ahead of safety. This is a fact that cannot be disputed. The only way to test the effects of the new and ever increasing combinations of shots is to give them to infants…there is no other way. The number of vaccines have drastically increased over the past 20 years. Autism has increased from 5,000 in 1990 to 5 million in 2010. The United States gives double (36) the number of vaccines as compared to the world average (18) using 30 other developed nations and the US has the highest autism rate in the world. I wonder how much research you have done on the matter or what questions you have asked. Look up Hannah Polling for starters. She will be the first of many. The second is Charlie Sheen, an absolute mess yes but anyone who has looked into the 9/11 truther movement with an open mind cannot buy the official story of what happened on that day. You criticize these two for doing exacty what you criticize your “you” category for not doing. Your opinion of these two is based on what “authority” has told you…shame on you for that.

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  • Marshall Cypress

    WOW I haven’t seen a seen a BAWWW thread like this article since summer school let out and the cancer invaded /b/. What an insane amount of drivel. of course his hate filled rhetoric will very likely attract the attention of Imam Obama and his remaining cronies in the senate, or after insulting islam I’m sure the religion of peace will take care of him. “and nothing of value was lost”.

  • Margret Hamilton

    The world loves opinions, thanks for providing. Some of those comments were tantamount to shooting fish in a barrel. Others, well… read passages where the Lord was moved to pity, it very likely applies…… I am especially entertained by your bravado on the certainty of evolution (odd how many birds we have with only one fossil showing its former lizard self, and even that is a joke), and your equally brazen temerity to spit in the so-called “mythological” God’s face. Entertaining for me, hate to venture a guess what it will be for you. I can see you and your buddies are tough guys but I am curious if you ignore “jerks” like me or sometimes take the time to answer questions directly? If it’s the latter, I would gladly return.

  • Andy

    Wow! How….well, juvenile. I suspect the author is still just angry he never got asked to the prom. Grow up already. Maybe your life is meaningless (How could it not be when you put your time and energy into writing such drivel?) After all, what do you contribute to society? I would be ashamed, angry, frustrated, depressed–and also bitter every time I saw Sarah Palin smile because she appears to enjoy life–if all I had to contribute to society was RIDICULE! Don’t assume others’ lives serves no purpose just because you happen to be a societal parasite. The author is pathetic. This article, though creatively written, was a waste of intelligent thought–like when great scientists put their intelligence to work to create the atom bomb. According to Saul Alinsky there is no more devastating weapon than ridicule. The author wields it with bitter, but probably gleeful, abandon. Deep down he has nothing but self-contempt, for how would he feel about somone who wrote such things about him? He would have contempt for such a person. Those who act in ways that they would find contemptible in others, deep in their soul, have only contempt for self. Their constant frustration is their just reward. I find a certain satisfaction in enjoying life with true peace and contenment while I see people liek the author constantly angry and frustrated. They make their own life suck! Good for ‘em!

    Those who actually do what is right (rather than theorize about it), are rewarded with peace and joy. People like the author of this immature nonsense throw around the accusation of “self-righteousness” to turn good people into bad. But people like the author, in reailty, simply need to grow up. Stop being bitter every time you see others’ enjoying life. Do something productive. I believe it was Ghandi who said to BE THE CHANGE you want to see in the world.

    Satirists never become the change they want to see. They want to be the one person who is not the change, and they are angry that every one else is not perfect so that they might enjoy utopia. Deep down, those who indulge in ridicule are always hypocrites.

  • Jay Schiavone

    In re: McChrystal, Rich Lowlife is expected to fawn, but the fact is “legit” journalists pushed the same line. Worst offender may have been the NY Times’s John Burns

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  • Simon Kenton

    You omit Michael Moore and expect us to take your list seriously?

  • el kabong

    great…a reply section…now we get to suffer through more “social interaction” whereby the thoughts of imbeciles are somehow legitimized…fuck you.

  • Rick67

    What a relentlessly boring gurgitation of left wing hate. That too often confuse fevered caricatures crafted from your own projections onto others. At least your relationship to the real world is tenuous. Until the lunatics take over.

    Oh wait. Uh oh…

  • mishu

    Why isn’t the author of this piece of shit on the list?

  • Dan Garfinkel

    You have done an important public service. May all the sentences be carried out promptly and without mercy.

  • Jimbo

    Ton of far-left liberals are missing from this list. Otherwise, not bad.

  • chip

    “Eponymous” does not mean what you think it means (re Tyra Banks). Did you know that Merriam-Webster offers a decent online dictionary free of charge?

  • Casey

    Add yourself.

  • Snarky Mark

    oldestgenxer: Even though this isn’t news, it helps put the ‘balanced’ into ‘Fair and Balanced’ (BTW, Faux News isn’t news, either). And even though I don’t know you….believe me, you’re on the list.

    Mike C: Don’t worry about oldestgenxer. Right wing conservatism (and Faux News) will die off together slowly as the newer, more liberal, more progressive generations (like actual genxers) replace them. That is, if they don’t finish destroying our country before they die.

    My vote for next year…hell, the decade: Faux News viewers. BTW, where’s the MLA list for the past decade?

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  • Snarky Mark

    So amusing and telling that Liberals see this list as entertainment, yet Conservatives are getting their panties in a bunch over it. I guess it makes sense though, as they take Faux News seriously, too.

    And a special shout out to Andy: STFU.

  • Stacy

    As someone who lives in Kentucky (with the electricity, shoes and ALL) I am offended by the fact that you are implying that the “existence of Kentucky” is a bad thing. Not all of us voted for that a-hole Paul and not all of us support McConnell.

  • SRF

    You left out Nancy Pelosi, Rahmbo, Reid, Palinoia victims like Krugman and Other NYTimes staffers, Cohen D-TN. I like your homophobia bashing. Are you unaware the incident you cited involve no underage interns or sex but only emails? If you want to bvash homosexual why leave out Franks who home as used as bothel and Studds who raped an idea after getting him drunk. As an anti-semite you would get bonus point for your hate.

  • Ozinator


    I agree somewhat. A difficulty in having conversations with people concerning 9-11 and vaccines, is that they have been taught to associate the two with Jenny McCarthy and Sheen. That US Americans (even some would-be skeptics) would do this, shows the power of the living room fuck-box and its constant ad-hominem barrage.

    The author gave a kill count for McCarthy then listed an intellectually dishonest hack who selectively labeled data, “scientifically linked = 0″ yet he of course doesn’t dare claim (and later covers himself by admitting as much) that his “preventable deaths” is scientific–it’s just implied. This works both ways…There are too many possible environmental culprits that COULD be causing autism and it’s not scientific to look at the data and conclude it does

    Risk analysis is tricky here but that list of “preventable” deaths is for the flu…you know the flu? Something that kills 35000 US Americans every year with no change since vaccine mania occurred. The herd protection argument begs some great questions! the easy one being why the herd need worry when they are vaccinated. the answer of course given by the money is that there are those who are allergic to the vaccine and you would be helping them by shooting your kid; How did that baby realize he was immune? So without going into possible long term effects….weighing risk of polio (or what ever else is in your cocktail) vs risk of adverse reaction (the number this clown admits to for trying to make his case about those who are allergic to vacs) is far from holding the poorly formed arguments of Jenny McCarthy up as one’s bible. Being a parent isn’t easy when you have choices, so you could just let them immunize your new born against genital warts and hep B without asking any questions….if you do ask, you run the risk of hearing about “Jenny McCarthy” This isn’t hyperbole! It’s not it’s not it’s not! hehehe

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Here’s what I don’t understand: How is it that anti-vaxers, evolution deniers, 9/11 troofers, and people like that form a basis for criticizing others? When you don’t use evidence or reason, how can you say that one kooky belief about 9/11 is better than another? Or that one anti-vaxer is an idiot but another is not?

  • Ozinator

    correction…”how did that baby realize he was ALLERGIC”

  • darkeden

    Civility: Something Leftists demand of everyone else but refuse to display themselves.

  • Scott

    God ruined a perfect prick when he put ears on Ian Murphy’s head.

    What an ugly, angry piece of shit. He’s another person whose mother regrets daily that she didn’t abort him when she had the chance. It’s not too late to make your mother proud by aborting yourself now, Ian. Think about the advantages. You’ll no longer have to live among knuckle dragging neanderthals you despise, and you’ll have the added benefit of knowing that your rotting corpse is providing meals to maggots. And believe me, turing yourself into maggot food will be your greatest accomplishment that will make your mother proud.

  • Ozinator

    Snarky Mark,
    Liberals hate true Leftists more than Right wingers hate Liberals. Liberals just like the credit that they are the clever ones

    Isn’t there enough evidence to loathe Palin without following the Huffington Post’s misleading lead-in on her gaffe concerning Korea? She clearly meant South Korea and you could tell she had at least the same “North Korea bad, South Korea good” education that any wannabe leftist liberal has.

  • Ozinator

    Are you asking me, Josh?

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      If you can give a coherent answer, sure.

  • Sterge

    For dudley:

    I’m sure you may have trouble understanding and possibly even just reading this… but… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Amendment_to_the_United_States_Constitution

  • Bob

    Sarah Palin’s Alaska isn’t on anymore, so you’re whole argument falls apart. Neener-neener-neener.

    Aside from that, great article.

  • Me


    If you don’t believe in the world that the writer is dealing with, then at least bear with me for a moment. For your purposes, we’ll say that the writer “envisions” these circumstances, so think about them, as hard as you possibly can. Are you there yet? Splendid! Let’s continue. In this world, with these circumstances, “BEING THE CHANGE” is a lot harder than you make it seem. Whatever opportunity you capitalized upon to “do what is right,” whatever the hell that means, is scarcely presented to everybody (unless you’re referring to converting to Christianity — yikes!). You see, Ghandi was a fairly popular fellow, and it’s easy to spit out quotable things when everybody loves you. But I think he was right — no one should sit around complaining. The writer here, I don’t think that’s what he’s doing. Rather, I believe he’s digested the world as best he can and is now using his natural gift — writing — to publicly express himself, and subsequently, express the will of people who inhabit the very same circumstances. If you live outside of those circumstances, good for you — a writer’s greatest challenge is speaking to the experience of everybody, especially when writing satire. You’re probably a much happier person than we are. Great job! It seems to me, though, that you’re ripping out “hypocrite,” “immature,” “social parasite,” “pathetic”, et al, because you’re exactly what the author is talking about when he wrote the entry for #1… and you know it. In fact, your condescending little tirade over here makes you about as contemptible as you fancy the author of the article. Congratulations! You’re an idiot.

    If you ever read this, I’m sorry that I had to be so rude. But the truth is, your complacency and inflated sense of maturity are symptomatic of a nation-wide attitude that enables bad, wealthy people to continue doing truly evil things. I really want you to know that.

    -A friend.

    PS: Satirists will always be infinitely more valuable to society than the people who bitch at them in comment boxes.

  • http://microcasey.blogspot.com/ Casey

    As an Australian your article is rendered null.

  • Ozinator

    I’ll try Josh but you questions are a bit confused

    “Here’s what I don’t understand: How is it that anti-vaxers, evolution deniers, 9/11 troofers, and people like that form a basis for criticizing others”?
    A: That’s a lot of people and “like that” would include many more groups due to the broad list of denominators. I think you left out fewer people than you included, but I would say most people are emotional thinkers mistakenly believing that their beliefs were arrived at through reason

    “When you don’t use evidence or reason, how can you say that one kooky belief about 9/11 is better than another? Or that one anti-vaxer is an idiot but another is not”?

    A: one can of course say anything, but see above

    Did this help you?

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      No. Let me put it another way. Let’s say an evolution denier accuses you of just believing what authority tells you, that you’re buying the “official story,” that you’re brainwashed, that you’re only paying attention to the creationists who are the worst at arguing their case – Kirk Cameron, for instance – and ignoring the more sophisticated ones, etc. (In other words, they bring up the same kinds of responses you give inre: vaccines and 9/11). How would you respond to that?

  • Ozinator


    I’d answer this way to someone saying that to me:
    I never suggested you followed Kirk Cameron and that would be ignorant for me to do so. There is a valid concern over trusting things we haven’t the ability to understand; It’s hard enough for a climatologist to explain his field to a scientist in another field- much less a lay person- but I can direct you to the scientific method and suggest you do spend as much time as you can grasping what it takes to achieve actual theory. Were you to do this, you could then confidently appeal to that field’s theories without understanding them completely and understand there was no way climate change to be a conspiracy duping the masses

    Now concerning Vaccine safety, dangers and need, we aren’t talking scientific theory here and there are some real logical problems with how evidence and statistics are being used (by anti vax as well). And I HAVE been accused of being misled by Jenny McCarthy (see above imaginary conversation with crazy guy who thought I said he got his shit from Cameron). I’m not even anti vax

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      See, you’re just plain wrong about the relative safety and efficacy of vaccines not being supported by science. You’re just arbitrarily accepting scientific findings when you like them and calling them a hoax or a conspiracy when you don’t.

  • Ozinator

    lol…sorry…guy was a evolution denier? same answer

  • Ozinator

    without fuckwits, you’d be pretty stupid though! You should be thanking Republicans for hiding you in the middle of the herd (I think most of them vaccinate too, so no worries for you mate!)

  • Ozinator

    that was for darth, not Josh

  • http://www.lijoi.com Ernie

    while I agree with you on almost every level, somehow ai read this and still think yhou are a total douchebag who’s not nearly as talented as he thinks.

  • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

    DarthFurious: Kids who are too young to get vaccinated and people who can’t for medical reasons can be infected by the fuckwit offspring.

  • Joseph Sciortino

    @101: You’re talking to another talking-points regurgitating nitwit. Like these assholes knew who the hell Alinsky was three years ago. I wonder how the fuck they found this site. I think a Randroid I directed to it has been sending his lunatic buddies to it.

  • Ozinator

    Josh, you are confusing theory with conducting science, I give you the same advice I gave to your imaginary evolutionary denier.

    How young is too young? Because the batteries start immediately. Are these too young kids really in danger of contracting Hep B from older kids who are not vaccinated?

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Wow, so vaccine safety and efficacy is “just a theory?” And you probably still don’t think you sound exactly like a creationist, I’d bet. If someone took that advice then they surely wouldn’t agree with you.

  • Ken

    “Ghandi was a fairly popular fellow”

    Godfuckingdamnit, the man’s name is spelled “Gandhi.”

  • Greggah

    Josh and Ozinator,

    Good conversation. Josh – “relative safety”? Kind of ambiguous. The FDA daily max for aluminum intake for someone on IV fluids is 250mg. Some of the vaccine cocktails have as much as 1,500 mg in one session. Aluminum is a neurotoxin. My daughter has gotten all of her vaccines (except hepB) in her first year. I just space them out so her body can tolerate the monkey liver cells, cow serum, pig fetus etc… I do this under the guidance of a pediatrician.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Being vaccinated is relatively safe compared to the alternative of not vaccinating. It’s not absolutely safe, just safer, kind of like using seat belts.

  • motionview

    You should be #1 on the list Murphy for being such a loser prick. Still working on that screenplay?

  • Ozinator

    Josh, I’m not using the bastardized version of “theory”. NO, “vaccine safety and efficacy” is not a theory–A theory is the highest level an idea can get to in science.

    I have made myself clear but you are being very reactionary. Though I don’t think you are stupid, your emotions are making it difficult for you to understand what is being said to you.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Ozinator, you never make yourself clear. But I do like that you assumed Beast_Fan was talking about you as a “brainless dipshit.”

      “Hey, I’ll have you know that I’m a brainless dipshit and I enjoyed the loathsome list.” That’s the thought that was going through your head, wasn’t it?

  • Ozinator

    “kind of like using seat belts”? Well, there you heard it! Line up and get those kids vaginal wart and hep B vaccinations!

  • Jim

    Very good, but I have a couple suggestions:

    1) As for #33 Damon Lindelof and LOST, you’ve (like many people) misunderstood the plot. Lindelof himself stated “everything that happened, happened.” It was not, in fact, all a dream or all imagined/simulated in the afterlife. All of the “flash sideways” plotline we saw in the final season actually took place after everyone died, either from events we saw take place on the island, or of other causes after they escaped the island for good. Re-watch the final season with this perspective and you’ll pick up on all the clues.

    2) As much as we all love to hate George Bush, and he truly does belong on this list somewhere, shouldn’t Dick “clinging to life by the power of my evil” Cheney deserve a mention? After all, Bush’s worst crime is that of being an imbecile. Cheney is the real criminal mastermind.

    3) I’m glad I read your ending note after learning just how “loathsome” I am. For a minute there, I was a bit put off! Your #1, though offered in jest, brushes reality though. In our own ways, we may share some of the blame here and there. Ever see “V for Vendetta?” There’s a scene when V tells the citizens that to find who was to blame for the nation’s faults they “need only look in a mirror.” Effective. Poignant. It gives us all an opportunity to reflect and think about how we can all make a difference.

    Nice work over all.

  • BmoreKate

    I read the whole list (thankyouverymuch), thought it was a highly-entertaining, albeit disturbing, piece, and found that describing Bristol Palin as Sarah’s “ham-legged, clopping daughter” was the funniest damn thing I’ve read all week. Thanks!

  • Ozinator

    Oh, I liked the list…it made me laugh

  • Beast_Fan

    How do these brainless dipshits find this list and why do they comment if they hate it?

  • Beast_Fan


    Oh there were definitely plenty of people who got a pass this year simply because of the sheer volume of idiocy this year, as the authors of the list pointed out. Hell, if it were the 100 Most Loathsome Americans I’d have included Andrew Shirvell, Newt Gingrich, Joe Arpaio, Rush Limbaugh (who, let’s face it, will be a racist asshole EVERY year), Bryan Fischer, Maggie Gallagher, David Barton, John Shimkus, Elaine Donnelly, Peter LaBarbera & Matt Barber, Scott Lively, & Paul Cameron. Unfortunately not everyone can make it. I agree with you that it was good regardless of who they ended up choosing–and at least they got Paladino, O’Donnell, Angle, Brewer, Beck and Paul.

  • Bruce

    el kabong..I see you’ve proved your own statement to be absolutely true..good for you

  • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

    Oh and yeah, getting vaccinated is like using a seat belt. There is a small chance that you’ll be injured by either, but there’s also a much larger chance that either will save your life. And there’s a huge amount of evidence supporting both.

  • Margret Hamilton

    ****** At 104.Josh Bunting Said ====> No. Let me put it another way. Let’s say an evolution denier accuses you of just believing what authority tells you, that you’re buying the “official story,” that you’re brainwashed, that you’re only paying attention to the creationists who are the worst at arguing their case – Kirk Cameron, for instance – and ignoring the more sophisticated ones, etc.******

    Josh. They are right. You and your evolution crowd do ignore the tough questions and surround yourself with prevailing attitudes as your armor. Why you have the schools, the media, most of the scientists (But not all!) on your side. You can say whatever you want, mock as much as you want, and never have to defend anything you say in those friendly environs… So big deal, you doesn’t impress me at all….. How come since man has been on earth we haven’t seen one stinking vertebrate make one significant move into becoming another species? How come amongst the billions and billions and billions of animals everything remains calm and content? How come not one lizard EVER dared to grow a wing since we’ve been around, or not one fish EVER tried to go for a walk on the beach? If evolution were true we should never ever have witnessed such contentness with nothing seriously happening. But since man has been around, it has been anything but evolution looking.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Margaret, I think you missed the point, which was that believers in silly things like creationism, anti-vax propaganda, 9/11 conspiracy theories, and things like that tend to use science to support beliefs they like and abandon it when they don’t like its conclusions. As to your questions:

      I guess it depends on what you mean by a “significant move.” When you can define that however you want, then deniers like yourself can always just move the goalposts.
      Everything’s not “clear and content” in the animal world. Lots of them have to eat each other alive just in order to survive. Others starve or freeze to death, or die of thirst, or die from infections of micro-organisms. Nobody but someone who doesn’t understand biology would suggest that a lizard growing a wing would be a sign of evolution. Same for a fish going for a walk. So there you go, thanks for trying.

  • Margret Hamilton

    By the way, you think this web site could come up with a little better contrast between text and background than very dark gray and black?

  • http://facebook.com Nolan Powell

    Thank you for this. I did skip to number one after reading a few. Then I realized it was worth the read. Unbiased for the most part and thats scarce these days…Now I feel like shit for living here again. After going through my daily routine of intentional ignorance. Soon enough people, soon enough.

  • http://biblegateway.com Hipolito M. Wiseman

    God COMMANDS You to PROSPER in this Life. Don’t Believe it? See for Yourself in Matthew 25:14-30 and Do Not Be Fooled, Those Who Do NOT Prosper with Their God Given “Talents” are HELL Bound. Thrive Through CHRIST Now While You Still Can! Mat 25:14-30

  • Marc

    I’M NUMBER 1!

  • Dracon

    Ohh – how cute! I mean, how about:

    Noam Chomsky – fast friend of tyrants and genocideurs everywhere?

    Michael Moore – freelance Henry Kissinger and Leni Riefenstahl.

    Anita Dun – defender of the greatest mass murderer in human history

    The “anti-War” crowd – Made sure that the genocide in Darfur would run through to completion.

    “Murphy” – so far up his own ass that he’s on the verge of coming out his own throat

    Nah, nah, not important. Nothing like that is ever important to the fatuous, small minded, navel gazing riff-raff that Americans call “liberals”.

  • Me

    “Godfuckingdamnit, the man’s name is spelled ‘Gandhi.’”

    Human spell-checkers are *much* more fun when they preface their correction with angry profanity!

  • http://www.monkeyfuck.com Charolla Ibbybibbington

    Does that whole asking for money because you are so brilliant and no one paid you for writing thing work at all?
    Just wondering…

  • lumberjack

    nice british reference at the end there, laughed like hell. good list of douches and dumbasses (and obama, whom i believe, naively perhaps, can still redeem himself)

  • Joseph Sciortino

    Why are the conservatards here and why are so few people kicking the shit out of their idiotic comments?

  • Stephen

    This guy thinks all of Lost was purgatory? It would then appear he either has an IQ of 10, or literally did not watch the final scene where they LITERALLY said it all happened. Only the flash-sideways in season 6 were “purgatory”. I don’t even know who this guy is but he’s an absolute joke and a complete moron if he couldn’t fit that together.

  • Margret Hamilton

    Sorry Josh, but you remind me of everyone else. How many millions of species are out there? IN order for one species to become another one, serious macro changes need to occur. And it must have occurred trillions of times to get where we are today with all these millions of species. But now that man is around, no species is making any noticeable attempt to beccome a new one. (please spare me the bacteria under the microscope observations, I want to see all the fossils where reptiles became birds). It’s a nice theory Josh, but without many undistputed transitional fossils, much less the millions one might expect still surviving, you have a bunk theory. And the fact man sees nothing dramatic since he has been around only adds to the great doubt it ever happened.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Margaret – it seems kind of weird and arbitrary to me for you to just casually dismiss all the evidence for evolution based on directly observing microbes evolving, especially considering that they make up most of life on Earth. But you can read about “the fossils where reptiles become birds” here.
      So if you don’t have any other problems with evolution – I’m assuming that was your “tough question” – can you please show any evidence at all for any competing theory of biology? Thanks.

  • Lucy Walker

    Wow! You left out a lot of loathsome individuals. On the other hand, you introduced me to a lot of scallywags that I had never heard of. You may now take a bite of that imitation processed turkey sandwich that is filled with so much sodium it will give you a hot bloodied rush.

  • Joseph Sciortino

    Margret, ask your doctor why you need to take your antibiotics precisely when you are told to. Then stop.

  • Hypocee

    Dr. Andrew Wakefield? I don’t know of any Dr. Andrew Wakefield.

    (Wakefield’s medical license has been canceled due to his fraud and other ethics violations.)

  • http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fmidnightmoth.blogspot.com%2F&h=82da9 Timothy

    You’re pretty funny, and I like your drawings a lot, but you don’t know me.
    If you want to judge me, you’ve got to know me, and in order to know me, you’ve got to get to know me, and you haven’t.
    Do you really think that the people who would bother to get all the way down your list to #1 (surprise!) “You”, is in any way like the “loathsome” person you have described?
    Perhaps the “You ” in question is you, Ian Murphy, YOU.

  • Person with Brain

    Fuck you for putting Damon Lindelof on this list. You insinuate that the entire show “LOST” was purgatory. This insinuation reveals that your hatred for the finale is not the result of any inadequacy on Mr. Lindelof’s part, but your own inability to follow, process, or comprehend a plot that is more complex and layered than a standard children’s story (Bambi, for example). Any dimwit who followed the show knows that the island (the “whole thing”) was not purgatory or the afterlife. Here’s a suggestion: stop trying to watch shows that are beyond your IQ level.

    “And the whole damn thing… was actually just some brightly-lit, stained glass, feel-good, new-age, ecumenical afterlife delirium. ”

    Funny how almost everyone who hates the finale simply doesn’t get it. No wonder TV is so dumbed down.

  • Meg

    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR #33!! No one else I knew could understand what total and utter crap that last episode was!!!

  • Nick

    As a KY native I love being stereotyped!!!!

  • Al G. in Flori-duh

    Obama’s failures can be laid at the feet of the GOP, the Party of No, which fought him every inch of the way beginning on his first day in office and continuing right up to this very second, all calculated to influence the 2012 election. The Prez does not, thank God, have the power to do everything he promised with such active stonewalling by the Red Party. Meanwhile, we keep electing stupid politicians who claim to be outsiders and take great pride in knowing nothing at all. Your choice for number 1 was inevitable.

  • Locke

    True dat.

  • ben

    Come on, putting “the people” at #1 is a cop-out. Americans have done nothing different this year as any other year (even if it’s true, just put a single person at number one). It’s just as ridiculous as TIME making “you” the person of the year a little while back.

  • TigerNightmare

    While I agree with most of the list, I have to object to Paula Deen and Damon Lindelof. I gave pause when I saw Obama, but didn’t have any choice to agree with his inability to fight for his causes.

    Saying Paula Deen’s recipes are more dangerous to Americans than a nuclear armed Korea just stinks of the kind of rhetoric Fox News personalities are guilty of. She’s a celebrity chef. I’m well aware of the obesity epidemic, but there’s no harm in the occasional indulgence in a fatty meal. Would you turn down a meal she cooked? I didn’t think so.

    As for Lindelof, first of all, the Lost finale was well-received by most critics and fans of the show and not people like you who follow trends and watch whatever everyone else is watching with sporadic, uncaring detachment and indifference. You didn’t like it? So what. Art is art and is more subjective than the glaring sins of politicians and pseudo-celebrity personalities. I don’t see you putting people on this list for writing every book, movie or TV episode that you didn’t like. And if anyone from the world of creative entertainment belongs on here, it’s M. Night Shyamalon, or, at the very least, Jay Leno and Jeff Zucker.

    As for the You (me) thing, it feels like a cop out. I see what you were going for, but it just comes off as hypocritical, arrogant and biting the hand that feeds you (does it feed you?). Doesn’t fit me, doesn’t fit a lot of people who read this. I’m fully aware that my existence will most likely be meaningless, but I’m also aware it will be no less meaningless than yours. Would’ve been better as “Them”, those who are actually responsible for these heinous crimes. Us, the collective You, are also hardly the worst of all of these. On the bright side, I’m pretty sure you won’t put You on the list next year.

  • Beast_Fan

    “Noam Chomsky – fast friend of tyrants and genocideurs everywhere?’
    Funny, because the U.S. has sided with Papa & Baby Doc Duvalier, Augusto Pinochet, Suharto, Saddam Hussein, Ayatollah Khomeini, Mohammad Reza Shah Pahlavi, Hugo Banzer Suárez, Chiang Kai-shek, etc. And what tyrant has Noam Chomsky befriended? Um, oh yeah, zero. And he certainly never gave material aid to dictators, which our government has.

    “Anita Dun – defender of the greatest mass murderer in human history”
    Didn’t she just comment on his political philosophy? I don’t think she said anything about the deaths during the Great Leap Forward. In fact, she only mentioned this one quote from him: “You fight your war, and I’ll fight mine.” That’s it. No celebration of genocide.

    “The ‘anti-War’ crowd – Made sure that the genocide in Darfur would run through to completion.”
    The anti-war crowd has been protesting the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. And I get the feeling that since we’re bogged down in those two wars we’re not in any position to lend military aid to the people of Darfur against the Janjaweed.

  • Beast_Fan

    “How many millions of species are out there? IN order for one species to become another one, serious macro changes need to occur. And it must have occurred trillions of times to get where we are today with all these millions of species. But now that man is around, no species is making any noticeable attempt to beccome a new one. (please spare me the bacteria under the microscope observations, I want to see all the fossils where reptiles became birds). It’s a nice theory Josh, but without many undistputed transitional fossils, much less the millions one might expect still surviving, you have a bunk theory.”

    How did you manage to type that without drooling all over your keyboard?

  • Shawn

    It’s nice to see that Bill Maher is now writing under a ghostname, This entire list is cobbled together from Maher’s “I’m smarter than you” bullshit factory

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  • Oh hai

    I was going to ask if an “honorable mention” should be given to people who think commenting on blog posts counts as political activism, but then again I think it’s kind of implied under the #1 winner’s description.

  • Johnnymushio

    Whenever I see someone complain about the final episode of LOST, I just interpret it as that person complaining they do not have critical thinking skills. Pathetic really. This post just oozes bitterness and negativity for the sake of being bitter and negative. Also, this site is designed like crap. Yeah, I said it.

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.

    Hey Margret Hamilton.

    Gonna intervene, like Yahweh’s servant on Abraham, following the deity’s practical joke.

    I gather you’re a “cdesign proponentist” (Google it). You’re right, not all scientists “believe” in evolution. Sure, there are more scientists named “Steve” that subscribe to the “wildly controversial” theory, than there are proponentists in total, but still. Someone believes a magical space monster is responsible. They don’t offer anything but subjective observations (that LOOKS like someone made it), but that’s good enough.

    But OK. I’ll kick it to you. God created everything. Now what? A mysterious consciousness, whose will we can’t know, is pulling the strings on the physical world. The gradual variations (evolutions, if you will), resulting from a combination of heredity and random mutations, are an illusion.

    Awesome. Now what? What do we do with the knowledge that the fundamental basis of life, and causality itself, is at the arbitrary whims of an entity whose will we can’t know.

    Now what?

    BTW, I can wreck the logic of the Christian God given two commonly accepted theological premises. Ask me how!

  • poopsquire

    Oh, I bet “YOU” will be on the list next year, it’s been on every year since Matt Taibbi first started doing the list.

  • Unimpressvive

    Mel Gibsons not an American. He’s a celebrity. Disappoint.

  • poopsquire

    A pretty good list. Not as scathing as some of the past years, but still an enjoyable read.

  • Nope

    Bias much? This is a terrible list. Not to mention inaccurate on several occasions.

  • Gritty in Pink

    Great list. However, there are two notable omissions:

    1. Baptist minister George Rekkers, one of America’s leading homophobes caught in the Miami Int’. Airport with an…ahem…”luggage lifter” hired on Rentboy.com.

    2. BP CEO Tony Hayward, who went to a fucking yacht race and then “retired” soon after his company propagated the worst environmental disaster in US history — ruining an ecosystem and tens of thousands of jobs.

    Surely, even Republicans can agree that Rekkers and Hayward are far more loathsome than Lady Gaga and Perez Hilton.

  • jILL

    Douchebaggery. The writer is guilty as charged. Keep pushing. Keep pushing. The world is really unlike that “reality” you live in…

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.

    I’m going to use Objectivist logic, and consider both the praise and criticism of this article complimentary. Only resentful looters would tear down this heroic satire and polemic. Any complaints against it merely confirm its incontrovertible pwnage of persons mentioned therein, and supporters of persons thereof. And if they’re butthurt about the list, I’ll say “there, there,” in an astonished, mocking, and inexplicably moral way.

    Their urge to exact a petty, impotent revenge in the comments section only confesses a seething jealousy; a desire to crush those who excel at writing the actual bodies of blog posts.

    Take that, lice! HAHA! I’ve really shut you down. Yep. Really effective stuff, this objectivism. Now all I need are sycophants to continually reaffirm my unwarranted sense of importance.

  • notjenna

    It’s been a fun read. After all the earnest comments (most of which I agree with–I mean, who’s to argue with a subjective list like this?) it’s my pleasure to honor #50, Paula Deen by reproducing perhaps her masterwork, English Peas, a recipe for the ages worthy of her esteemed reputation as shown by the (so far) 175 (fucking hilarious) comments there. Here’s the whole thing in all its complexity:


    * 1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter
    * 2 cans (14 1/2-ounces) English peas, drained


    Melt the butter in small pot and add the peas. Cook over medium heat until peas are warm.

    Bon appetit y’all! And make sure you wear your aprons and safety glasses!

  • James

    That’s funny… I thought “The Readers” would be #2 and “Ian Murphy, M.D. Caigoy, Paul Fallon & Josh Bunting” would be #1, what with their propensity to foster hate SO MUCH that they compile yearly lists of people to hate, some of whom are genuine douche bags and some of whom have the temerity to think, believe or act differently that this article’s authors.

  • http://icup.org ricky retardo

    your article is really great and revealing, and i agree with most of it. i think that you brought people to light that i didn’t know and now easily hate for their terrible deeds as i and many others should. i found myself disagreeing with your #1 post simply for that the fact that although you were making a generalization to which most readers would hypocritically exclude themselves from, it revealed more about yourself as a person and anyone who agreed with you. obviously you are referring to dimwitted americans not paying attention to the big businesses that steal and rape and pillage daily using our money and our permission- this much is true. what i find fault in is your expectation: you expect mankind to be better than it is. some of this is attributed to your “belief” as you put it, in evolution. i believe evolution as fact, very similarly as you do, but what i feel that i know and that you should too, is that we evolve very slowly, and are not disimilar from our species from 100, 200 or possibly even 1000 years before. are we somehow better because we have become more well informed of our surroundings through science? science is trial and error, or simply put, knowledge that is collected after massive amounts of failure, testing, and then a decision made by the emergence of a constant. this does not make us smarter or better, and certainly does not obligate us to be at our greatest potential. your accessment is faulty, and based on a belief that has always existed because of how our minds work to evolve us: what should be is what could be is what will be. remember: you stub your toe even when you know where the table is and one of the smartest people in the world is in a wheelchair unable to move. you were created at random by a sea of sperm bumping into an egg- as we all are. get over yourself and except that people will be people and that we are always a mass of retards always destroying ourselves and ruining the world and looking for something better.

    #1 should be jersey shore as one entire person/slot. i am sure that the spread biological pestilence as well as intellectual pestilence, and ruin the perception of america, italy, and any other country that they truly descend from (i.e. snooki isn’t italian.) they shouldn’t be killed, but all their money should be donated to charity, and their reactions should be filmed and aired with an apology from mtv for ever showing them on television instead of music (goddamnit) and then banned from all forms of media forever. then sterilized. IMO.

  • http://icup.org ricky retardo

    correction—except should have been accept in the sentence “you were created at random by a sea of sperm bumping int an egg- as we all are.”

    i failed to. i blame evolution.

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.


    This is the first year I’ve contributed to this. Your inattentiveness to details that don’t affect you concerns me.

    I suppose we did exercise subjectivity, and for that I apologize. I promise in the future, I’ll fight to keep personal opinions out of the editorials.

  • http://koumorikko.webs.com Observer A

    Looks like you have another 175 people at least to publish..
    Oh, and the cast of The Hills,

  • None

    The people who read the article and thought it was hilarious must be borderline retarded. I just went back into the archives and it’s just the same article being pumped out every year. The only thing that changes are a few names that are trendy to hate on at the time. It’s like these uninspired clowns are using a template: 1-9 Republicans, 10 Celebrity, 11-14 Republicans, 15 – Democrat, etc.

    Also, placing “You” as number one was in no way ballsy. It’s something done online which is the exact opposite, and “You” makes the list every year. It is also worth noting that whoever writes these is a self-righteous douche because one year “Us” was actually on the list, clearly implying that “You” does not include the writer.

    So, in conclusion, this is definitely pointless garbage clogging the intertubes and the only people who find it funny are Douchey White Liberals who would have laughed at the list if all that was done was calling a list of Republicans gay.

  • Rob

    I do agree with most of your opinions, but the way that you’ve gone about whining and complaining about it makes you just about as worthless as those that you loath. The end to your list is a rip-off of the monster at the end of this book starring the lovable fuzzy Grover and numerous other novels that end by bringing the reader into the narrative “breaking the fourth wall” and forces you to take a hard look at him or herself. I Think the list should have ended with:

    0. Me. Worthless internet journalist. Sits in a chair all day being angry about shit in the world that I can’t affect. Eats too much. Smokes too much. Drinks too much. Uses two spaces after a periods. Thinks he or she is an intellectual.

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  • jeffrico

    I totally agree with ROB “I do agree with most of your opinions, but the way that you’ve gone about whining and complaining about it makes you just about as worthless as those that you loath. ” You make your reasons seem pointless and sentences are really just silly!

  • TEC4

    You left yourself off the list. Mirror broken?

  • Joseph Sciortino

    You folks lack a sense of humor.

  • Margret Hamilton

    Sure Josh. Go to my link which addresses nearly all of your examples by leading paleontologists in the field. http://www.creationists.org/refuting-evolution-book-chapter-4.html It just amazes me how people think believing in God is nothing but faith (which it most certainly is not) but then they are so beholden to gigantic “leaps of faith” to make their beloved theory even begin to take shape. ….. Consider this quote from one of your gurus, Stephen Gould: Gould Quote:
    “”Paleontologists have paid an enormous price for Darwin’s argument. We fancy ourselves as the only true students of life’s history, yet to preserve our favored account of evolution by natural selection we view our data as so bad that we almost never see the very process we profess to study. We believe that Huxley was right in his warning. The modern theory of evolution does not require gradual change. In fact, the operation of Darwinian processes should yield exactly what we see in the fossil record. It is gradualism we should reject, not Darwinism.”
    Gould is not attacking evolution, but he is making an argument for punctuated equilibrium. So to review the arguments of two of the most revered high priests of evolution.
    Gould & Co: A exists because X is present. There is no evidence for Y.
    Dawkins & Co: A exists because Y is present. There is no evidence for X.
    Conclusion: There is no evidence that experts agree on exist for A. Therefore A is not only yet unproven, it is very highly suspect since, some of the finest experts on the matter highly doubt the presence of the necessary evidence for it to exist. Here in the 21st century when science has made remarkable discoveries unimaginable, they still cannot identify proof of how we evolved that the experts can agree upon.
    Essentially, Gould disproves Dawkins claim for evolution because he says there is no evidence for Gradual evolution. Or does Gould have no credibility? Dawkins disproves Gould’s claim for evolution because he says there is no evidence for punctuated equilibrium (i.e. monster steps). Or does Dawkins have no credibility?
    The most knowledgeable man on evolution in the world Stephen Gould balks at the claims of gradual evolution yet public schools and universities everywhere insist it be taught as fact. And we who challenge evolution based on the same lack of evidence as Gould’s are counted as fools. How rich.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Margaret, there are always gadflies who dispute this and that. So if you’re insisting on 100% agreement, you’re not going to find it – not just on evolution but anything at all. There are even still people who believe the Earth is flat. Does the fact that they still exist mean that the relevant consensus of experts is irrelevant? I don’t think so. The same is true with your deniers’ website.

      You are not telling me the news inre: Stephen Jay Gould’s Punctuated Equilibrium. There are still controversies within evolutionary theory. Yeah? So what? There would have to be, or else there wouldn’t be anything left to study. Would you rather have popularizers like Dawkins and Gould (in his case he can’t do this anymore since he’s dead) pretend to have absolute knowledge when they don’t? If you do, I’d be happy to show you lots of different points of view from creationists of different religions and different sects within the same religion, which would make your own point onto your own position.

      I’m no expert, but as far as I know the controversy rests on the question of why there aren’t more transitional fossils than we have – even though there are plenty. The gradualist position would be that the corpses of most vertebrates are eaten away and dissolve in oxygen-rich environments. So unless an animal sinks into a swamp and drowns, we wouldn’t expect to find many fossils. PE proponents would account for the relatively smaller amount of fossils by claiming that transitional periods are more rapid than we’d expect if the gradualist position were correct. It’s not something you can resolve with DNA testing because that only shows points of common ancestry, not necessarily how long it takes for populations to diverge.

      So if that’s your “tough question,” I’d still like to see any evidence you might have for any competing theory of biology. Thanks.

  • chornyvolk

    I know I am late to the game but….

    Another unfunny list created by an anti American, islamic dick sucking retard.

    Good job.

  • Ozinator


    I gave some good advice for talking to anyone trying sort out Evolution and not finding it reasonable…The problem is that you too may learn something about science and then your own cognitive dissonance would become more painful than it already is. You get no smart points for coming in on the right side of trusting the theory of evolution if you don’t know what theory means and have arrived at your conclusions for the wrong reasons. You are no different than Margaret

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Ozinator, I don’t know what cognitive dissonance you’re referring to. That sounds just like projection on your part. You were the one claiming that there was some huge difference between “conducting science” and “theory.” Not me. Anyway, your antivax arguments are the same as that of a creationist denying evolution.

  • Margret Hamilton

    MikeC. Thanks for weighing in. Sorry, if thousands of books, thousands of saints, and thousands of eye witnesses cannot bring any light to your mind for evidence for God, please don’t think you’ve won the case because I can neither do the same in a couple of paragraphs. What I can suggest to you is that there is factual proof of supernatural occurrences for which science nor atheists have any explanation whatsoever. So what do they do? They ignore it and forget about it, not unlike mainstream media. Why? Because they do not want to know, it will make them accountable for their actions all the more.

    Example: The Shroud of Turin. They don’t know the faultiness associated with the carbon 14 findings, they don’t care, it’s settled in their anti-religious minds. I suggest you read up on it. More importantly, science and the media run as fast as they can from trying to explain all the miraculous qualities of that image on the cloth because they have no answers. All they want to say is “fake,” but they don’t dare try to address how all those qualities happened. Call it intellectual dishonesty.

    You can use that term as it applies to the facts surrounding Fatima 1917, Zeitoun, Egyp 1968 and Akita, Japan 1973. Fatima is beyond doubt, the Virgin Mary surely appeared. Same with Zeitoun, beyond doubt. In Akita, the wooden statue of Mary wept tears of blood 101 times including before science and medical experts who did a thorough examination and concluded “no natural explanation available.” But you don’t care, you can just blurt out “trickery by the nuns” or some inane reply. The joke is on you people, God is not one to be mocked. …… MikeC, you said you can wreck the logic of the Christian God, easily. By all means, I am listening.

  • http://thecornfieldonline.com/index.php?board=2.0 chornyvolk

    Are any islamic murderers on the list? Or any weak kneed pussified european leadres who refuse to combat their islamic problem? How about Castro who has kept his whole country in JAIL for 50 years.

    Did a mongoloid compile this list? Or maybe a Prophet of Mohammed follower who likes to fuck 9 year old boys and girls.

    You fucking Liberal pussies are scared of Sarah Palin because she is everything you will never be.. Smart, cute, rich and close to becoming the leader of the free world.. And when she does she will kick all of your sorry asses..


  • Ozinator


    Liberals hate Castro too, for they are the smarter version of you!…you should be spooning them instead of shooting them

  • Beast_Fan

    “Go to my link which addresses nearly all of your examples by leading paleontologists in the field. http://www.creationists.org/refuting-evolution-book-chapter-4.html
    Wow, looks trustworthy, haha.

    “Are any islamic murderers on the list?”
    Muzzammil Hassan and Nidal Malik Hasan made it last year. This year Mohamed Mohamud made it.

    “Or any weak kneed pussified european leadres who refuse to combat their islamic problem? How about Castro who has kept his whole country in JAIL for 50 years.”
    I had no idea European and Cuban leaders were American. Reading comprehension works wonders.

    “You fucking Liberal pussies are scared of Sarah Palin because she is everything you will never be.. Smart…”
    She didn’t know what the Bush Doctrine was, what a VP does, how evolution or climate change works, who our ally is when it comes to North and South Korea, that refute and repudiate aren’t one word, what TARP was, she thought that Alaska’s proximity to Russia counted as foreign policy experience, she thought Africa was a country, etc etc etc

  • ROC

    @81 & 85:

    Read the previous years’ lists. They’re in there

  • Joseph Sciortino

    Please kill yourself, Chornyvolk, you husking tard.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      How could we forget Castro in this list of loathsome Americans?

  • Ozinator

    Your cog dis is right there again, after “anyway,”

    You’ve been corrected on this several times now and even when you finally get it, you don’t get it.

    I’m not saying theory or conducting science is bad (this was made apparent before you misunderstood and after I corrected you the first time), but these are different things and conducting science isn’t always to establish theory. You are not learning but becoming more buttressed in your ignorance. Could you pretend someone who hasn’t joked around with you is telling you this? Maybe if they patronized you properly, you’d get your crayons out of your ears and tuck that lip back in.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      After “anyway,” I just repeated the fact that you’re just using creationist arguments in the context of antivaccination beliefs. If I don’t understand what you’re saying, it’s your fault for being totally incoherent, as most everyone here can assure you that you are.

  • Me

    Why are people coming here just to say things like “this is not activism”? Of course it isn’t. It’s a fucking BLOG.

  • Patricoo

    “You” is the most aggravating american? Thats the biggest cop-out since Time gave the general populace award for most important person. Lazy writing, dude. Lazy writing.

    (For those of you aggravated, take some satisfaction that people don’t read this whole thing. Everyone does maybe, 15 of them then skips to the bottom. :P )

  • Margret Hamilton

    Josh — Not looking for 100% agreement, I am speaking of “deal breakers.” Example: Given the fact there are literally 10 million fossils ID’s and cataloged in world, if we do not have legions of transitional fossils between one vertebrate species and another then the probabilities are working heavily against your theory. That is an enormous anomaly not to have them present. Another example: If the most respected experts in the study of evolution disagree on a maximally fundamental and critical point — i.e. the evidence for change — then how can anyone state a fact that change occurred? Gould says no fossil evidence for gradual change, Dawkins says no fossil evidence for punctuated equilibrium (bold changes, if you will) and so I say no evidence for change, don’t tell me it’s a fact it occurred then. Quite the opposite, I will tell you if it occurred it would definitely be in the fossil record and it’s not — so it never happened!
    Third example: For all these millions of highly developed species to have “evolved” there has to be intermediary animals present at all times. I use the wings on reptiles becoming birds as an example, but there are literally necessary trillions of changes since life began for all these countless species to be present. Since man has been on earth we are not seeing ANYTHING like that! Everything is way, way to tidy and perfect by coincidence. That is simply impossible. If a million species evolved into a million new species then at no given time is everything perfectly content to be what it now is.

    As to your questions about evidence for creationism, and your other point why are there so many differences of opinion on this or that amongst different religious denominations —- my answer is I don’t need evidence for creationism and I don’t care a bit about religious differences. Yes, I believe God created every animal in its present state, no monkey became a man, etc., but the main reason I believe in creationism is by default. If we can prove evolution never occurred, primarily due to the lack of necessary fossil evidence, then the only other reasonable answer to how we became is someone created us. Simple as that unless you think space aliens came here long ago and planted seeds? —— Final point: The evidence for the Judeo-Christian God is overwhelming on many levels in my opinion. So if someone can accept God exists from that evidence, it is hardly much of a stretch to believe he also created life the way he said he did. No big trick for God.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      “Given the fact there are literally 10 million fossils ID’s and cataloged in world, if we do not have legions of transitional fossils between one vertebrate species and another then the probabilities are working heavily against your theory. ”

      But we do have lots of transitional fossils. And I’ve already given two possible explanations for why there aren’t more. And the two aren’t mutually exclusive, your misrepresentations of Dawkins and Gould notwithstanding.

      There wouldn’t have to be intermediary species at all times because most species go extinct. But you can find living transitional forms in ring species. Look it up.

      I was just asking for evidence for a different theory. Surely you wouldn’t suggest that any evidence against evolution (all of it bunk, as I’ve shown) means that some other theory is automatically correct. A competing theory would need evidence for itself. But you don’t even have a competing theory.

  • http://thesameoldcracks.wordpress.com/ Jill Elswick

    Wicked funny article & thanks for making the right choice for the #1 slot . . . but leave Oprah alone! She’s a genius. She uses her powers for good. :-)

  • http://thesameoldcracks.wordpress.com/ Jill Elswick

    P.S. I sent you 66 cents for your damn sammich! PayPal wouldn’t let me enter an amount with three decimal points.

  • admin

    Are we really “debating” a creationist?! Really? Josh, you are such a patient lad. How do you do it?

    Margret Hamilton,
    Please kill yourself.

  • http://www.chenillemacabre.com/amputheatre Gil Merritt


    I’ve been looking forward to this list, and as always I laughed out loud. Keep up the good work, and keep contributing to society by giving us humor, speaking your mind, and infuriating those who (as evidenced) can neither laugh at themselves nor understand that “hypocrisy” is not a magical word that lets you automatically win internet arguments.

    Until I read your list, I had no idea that Lady Gaga pissed off Jerry Seinfeld. I am proud that I didn’t know that.

    Go buy a sandwich,

  • Margret Hamilton

    admin, our brother, God welcomes cowards and tough guys — you sound like one or the other. God is also most forgiving to hypocrites — and that is often the reason unbelievers tell Christians they are full of baloney, because they can find sin in us and hence deterimine we are hypocrites. Well, at some levels they are correct, but it’s next to impossible to be perfect and without sin. You cannot use that as a reason to say Christianity is false. I simply do not understand why everyone thinks God is such an unproven matter or why they think when you die it’s all over? That is so ridiculous…. again, there is legions of evidence for God. Why would you not be interested in knowing? After all, we all will die and we will not escape meeting our Creator.

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  • admin

    Dear Margret Hamilton,
    Go then and meet your creator. Please.

  • Ozinator

    Josh, you asked where the cog dis was and I answered. I may have been too kind however, because it seems that not all from you is willful ignorance

    “it’s your fault for being totally incoherent, as most everyone here can assure you that you are”… The next time you try argumentum ad populum maybe you will first think if the current crowd is someone YOU would agree with…This is a very popular fallacy with climate change deniers, creationists and those believing that pharma is there to help them.

    Too bad you don’t understand theory, or you could have a much easier time arguing with your intellectual equal in Margret…until then, use the same poor “4 outa 5 doctors recommend” reasoning she does…There are plenty smarter idiots like yourself you can appeal to for comfort.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Ozinator: You didn’t answer my question, you just projected your own cognitive dissonance onto me.
      Argument ad popularum would be if I said that you were incoherent BECAUSE everyone says so. I simply pointed out that everyone recognizes your incoherence. There is a difference.
      Both you and Margaret deny the evidence for vaccination safety / evolution respectively, and you both casually dismiss the consensus of relevant experts. It wouldn’t matter if 99% of the public disagreed with the expert consensus.

      Ian: Yeah, iknorite? It must be some weird masochistic thing with me, like Caigoy and the Objectivists.

  • Ozinator

    “legions of evidence” Quick without looking! who said that? Josh or Margret?

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Margret. But I referred to evidence too. Sorry about that, I know it’s not your thing. The difference is that the evidence I refer to actually exists.

  • smotherington

    what … no bieber? bieber my balls!

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Justin Bieber is Canadian.

  • Margret Hamilton

    Admin— Socrates once said “the unexamined life is a life not worth living.” Your flippant little comments remind me of that.

    Item: October 13, 1917, Fatima, Portugal. 70,000 travelers assemble to either be witness to or mock the prediction of three shepherd children no older than 10. These children have been telling all the villagers that they see the Virgin Mary on the 13th of every month since May and that on July 13th Mary told them a great miracle will occur on October 13th for all to see and know these messages are from God. On that dark and very rainy day just past noon, the child Lucia points to the sky and the sun bursts out onto the scene. It begins to spin and “dance” defying cosmic laws, shooting multi colored rays across the entire sky changing the hues of the faces of all the people staring in disbelief. After 12 minutes the sun grows red, very large and charges the earth, all are terrified. Then it recedes and all is peaceful. The rain soaked clothes and muddy ground is inexplicably now bone dry. All the crowd cries out “miracle!” The communist Lisbon newspaper “O Seculo” who was present to mock the event now reluctantly reports the truth to its nation of “the miracle of the sun.”

    Question: What is it that you do not believe about these events as reported in the anti-clerical communist Lisbon newspaper “O Seculo” a couple of days after October 13, 1917?

    These children no older than nine reported seeing the Virgin Mary on May 13, June 13, July 13, August 19 (as they were held by local officials in jail for a few days so they could not make their appointed appearance) and September 13. Do you accept it as fact, that is, not that they saw Mary but that the children claimed to have seen her on those days?

    On July 13, the people claim to see claps of lighting or something similar (I cannot recall) but do not see the Virgin that the children claim to see. The children scream in great horror in unison and report later to the crowd the Virgin Mary gave them a vision of hell which they reported on in great detail. Do you not believe that happened, that is, not that the children saw Mary and saw hell, but that they screamed in horror and then told the people what they saw?

    Also on July 13, the children told Mary that the people wanted some sign as proof to what these children were telling them was truly occurring. Mary said tell the people that I will perform a great miracle on October 13 for all present to see as a sign to them that I am from God and my message is to be heeded. The children then made this message clear to all on that day. Do you not believe that happened, that is, not that the children saw Mary but that they reported to the people she predicted a great miracle 90 days hence forward? If not, why not? If not, then how does one account for 70,000 people, many from great distances, making the journey to Fatima on October 13, a journey that was done amidst terrible rain storms and a great deal of mud?

    On October 13 around noon, soon after the children appeared to have seen Mary again, Lucia pointed to the sky and the sun burst on to the scene when moments earlier it was totally dark and gray. The sun “danced” for 12 minutes defying cosmic laws, shooting all kinds of colorful rays across the whole landscape and changing the hues to yellow, red, blue enveloping the crowd. Then it charged the earth frightening the people to death before it finally receded and was peaceful. The crowd was spellbound and were equally amazed their rain soaked clothes and the soaked muddy ground was now all bone dry. Do you believe the thousands of witnesses? Do you believe the communist newspaper that reluctantly witnessed and reported the same? Are you not just a little bit shaken by the children predicting this great miracle to the day, 90 days in advance?

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Margaret, please, seriuosly, tl;dr.
      But I skimmed it and I’m familiar with the “miracle of the sun.” I just have one little question
      Which is more likely – that tens of thousands of witnesses in one town in Portugal were mistaken, or that that miracle really did happen and EVERYONE ELSE ON EARTH missed it?

  • ben

    Can people stop saying “go kill yourselves”??? That’s seriously rude. Plus if we didn’t have competing opinions we wouldn’t have lists like this and admin: you my friend, would be out of a job.

  • Patience

    I had the same thought as Gritty in Pink but then I realized it’s only a list of Americans. Maybe the 2011 list will have a foreign division?

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.

    Margret Hamilton

    Your rhetoric takes me back to a time when I was more adamant about the incoherence of religion, rather than just casually wondering how the world can possibly function with so many people immune to the principles of causality. You are making me nostalgic.

    My argument depends on two assumptions common to a common mix of the colloquial and literalist concepts of the Christian biblical deity. If someone believes in an even vaguer version, there’s not much I can say to that — I can’t argue with something lacking even an internal logic. And I don’t expect you to change your mind. Like, ever. About anything. Ever. It’s not in your nature. Yours is to smooth over the problems of your preconceived notions, and possibly wait for the rapture.

    That being said, does God have a dick?

    From NIV: “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

    Or maybe God has a snatch, too. What do you think? Assuming that there’s only one God, I wonder why He’d need any genitalia, since in the case of humans, there are two genders. But God sounds like an asexual life form; either reproducing on His own, or not reproducing at all, and just hewing the cosmos to His will.

    So, either God alternates between genders, or is a hermaphrodite; or doesn’t really like like a human much at all.

    Moving beyond God’s junk; does He have legs? Arms? A mouth? A digestive tract? Skin? EYES? Really any limb or organ that defines the physical properties of a human being, and differentiates it from, say, a rice cooker. These attributes are helpful on a planet with gravity where legs are needed for mobility; in which biological contaminants must be kept out, and the compounds making up other life must be converted into energy (a finite energy, BTW). It doesn’t make as much sense when you’re in a netherworld that’s also made entirely of yourself.

    I’m going to pick a third option: the text is vague enough, and its believers both insistent and lazy enough to reinterpret it ad hoc to work (and by work, I mean remain nebulous so that it’s unprovable and immune to criticism). Maybe you’ll say that God resembles man “spiritually,” which is good for LULZ, since then we’ve lost both a substantiation of God’s form, and our own.

    Moving on, is God omniscient? I hear that all the time. But maybe your God isn’t — or maybe by the end of this comment, He won’t be, providing the logical escape hatch needed to continue believing.

    The biblical God does a lot of weird stuff. He’s constantly “testing” (e.g. fucking with) people; blighting them, making them kill or impregnate each other, directing wars, creating disasters — and putting up rainbows to remind (WTF?) Himself not to commit genocide again. All the results: the betrayals, redemptions, disappointments — things often worthy in smiting, or replacement families in the case of Job — are somehow interesting for God.

    Are we not on the same page about what it means to “know everything?” Does the bible mean He knows some stuff? Like a lot of it, but maybe not all at the same time? That’d be OK; internally consistent at least.


    Er, or not.

    Imagine you’re watching “Murder, She Wrote,” or whatever people who can’t cope while remaining sane watch. Before the show is over, you already know the ending. You know who committed the crime, how, why, how they’re caught, on what evidence it’s proven. You know how many days it took to shoot the program, and what all the actual actors appearing in it are doing right at this moment.

    As boring as it sounds to be watching that show with that knowledge (or ever), imagine you’ve watched it instantly. And so everything has happened for you: instantly. You know everything, all at once; your faculties are spread across the totality of dimensions, including that of time. The very concept of unpredictability (testing shit out) becomes incoherent; since you’d never have known what it’s like not to know the results of an action before it occurred.

    Add omnipotence to this, and not only are events known at the same time as their causes, but one must wonder what’s to be done with this power. Since you already know what would happen if you make any decision, and take any action, the practical difference between thought and deed disappears, because the variables of private consciousnesses outside your own, physical laws not of your making, etc., are not available to create any variation away from what you already know.

    Without surprise or mystery, there’s no benefit to testing anything; the results would be redundant. Not just one or two steps ahead, but forever.

    And if this was always so for God, it raises the question how He’d ever developed a notion of self in the first place. In the absence of the unknown, or a difference between thought and action, or a world outside of one’s understanding or creation, the boundaries which define oneself wouldn’t exist. To be saturated by all possibilities at once, how would one have any impetus to act? Or even know what it would mean to do so? It would be like being born and “raised” in total sensory deprivation — or overload.

    So, either the biblical scribblers didn’t know what they were talking about, or the meaning of these concepts must be reinterpreted (or retranslated) so that God has a reason to do stuff. My guess is the answer lies somewhere in inventing a third, inarticulable option; with God being omni, and still wanting to do stuff; something that “makes sense” in no way that can be explained to a non-believer.

    Oh, and by the way, Marge. Don’t think I forgot about my question to you: What do we do with the knowledge that causality is at the arbitrary whims of a supernatural agency whose will can’t be known? If you’re keen on undermining the foundation of biological sciences, I want to know where we go from there. Because ID/Creationism is a science, right? So it must have applications, right? Tell me.

    Here’s typically where you’d complain about my vulgarity, and evade the question again.

  • Ozinator

    So you are simply pointing out that you are functionally illiterate? Because outside making an appeal to consider, there is no other reason to say it. And there you go not understanding theory again, Josh. I’ve tried too many times to explain the difference. Stop bluffing! You sound like a fuckwit (though not to Margaret and the rest of the crowd! hehehe) with this beauty, “consensus of relevant experts”. Try some blood letting, Josh…better yet, give your kids some live polio vaccines, because that was a good idea from a “consensus of relevant experts” at one point too. Think of it as a seatbelt.

    Everyone here thinks you molest children

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Ozinator, no I was pointing out that you are using the same arguments as evolution deniers, and that everyone recognizes your general incoherence. The incoherence is probably what’s preventing you from explaining the paranoid thoughts in your fucked-up head. Blood letting is not recommended by a consensus of relevant experts. And its efficacy is not supported by evidence. Seat belt and vaccine efficacy is supported by a consensus of relevant experts and tons of evidence. You fail, you brain-damaged crackpot.

  • admin

    While you people are here, you may as well read this list too. You love lists.

  • http://www.twitter.com/thegoddessmaria TheGoddessMaria

    Me?!?!?! But, but, but…. Oh shit. You’re right. I read the ENTIRE article – mostly outloud to my non-twittering husband. We laughed a bunch – thanks! I donated a dollar. Have a yummy sammich!

    [Not you, Maria. You're clearly awesome. - ed ]

  • Ozinator

    right Josh, OPV causes Polio or a minor form of it (according to the recalcitrant experts who once convinced our relatives it was safe). but it seemed reasonable at the time (and still does when “helping” brown babies far away) You are very stubborn and I hope I haven’t completely turned you off to understanding theory and why appealing to it is different than appealing to experts. I know that in the media they constantly refer to “consensus of scientist who believe in this or that”, but that’s not how it works. Peace and good luck!

  • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

    Ozinator, has it ever occurred to you how it we know that outdated medical practices weren’t effective? Oh yeah, that’s right, it’s by using the same methods that now show that vaccines are effective. Again, just like a creationist you support science when you like its conclusions and act like it’s a big conspiracy when you don’t.

    I wish you and the rest of the antivaxer, 9/11 troofer retards would get deported. Now go fuck the fuck off.

  • Ozinator

    I liked the list at 220, Josh ( did you steal “fuckwittery” from me? )

  • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

    I thought I told you to fuck off

  • Lenny Nero

    I hate to harp on your assessment of “Lost” amidst all the political words, but it has been stated, time and time again, that everything on the island was real, and only the “sideways-verse” was the afterlife.

  • John

    I agree that most of these people have no idea what they are doing and have fucked some things up, but you (the author) haven’t proven yourself much better. Most noticeably, under Christine O’Donnell you remark, “Doesn’t understand that the separation of Church and State is in the Constitution.” Which is weird, because it’s not in the Constitution, it was a Supreme Court ruling. Now I’m an atheist so I don’t care much for the church, but I do care that the people making political statements such as this list know what they are talking about, and it is evident that you do not.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      John the actual words aren’t in it, but they didn’t first appear in a Supreme Court ruling either. It first appeared in an official, AG-approved letter from Jefferson when he was President to the Danbury Baptists. The concept of state/church separation is in the First Amendment, and arguably also in Section VI Paragraph 3.

  • Ozinator

    Deported? Sounding more and more like an angry Republican, Josh. I wish YOU and the rest of the Creationist, Climate Change denying plagiarists and pedophiles would get educated on scientific method.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Oh no Ozinator, I sure don’t want to sound like a Republican so I better start being extra nice to anti-science kooks like yourself. You really set me straight there, champ. And seriously, I told you to fuck off a while ago.

      The Efficacy of Influenza Vaccine in Elderly Persons: A Meta-Analysis and Review of the Literature:
      “Despite the paucity of randomized trials, many studies confirm that influenza vaccine reduces the risks for pneumonia, hospitalization, and death in elderly persons during an influenza epidemic if the vaccine strain is identical or similar to the epidemic strain. Influenza immunization is an indispensable part of the care of persons 65 years of age and older.”

      Safety and Efficacy of an Attenuated Vaccine against Severe Rotavirus Gastroenteritis:
      “The efficacy of the vaccine against severe rotavirus gastroenteritis and against rotavirus-associated hospitalization was 85 percent (P<0.001 for the comparison with placebo) and reached 100 percent against more severe rotavirus gastroenteritis. Hospitalization for diarrhea of any cause was reduced by 42 percent (95 percent confidence interval, 29 to 53 percent; P<0.001). “

  • Laser


    “Since man has been on earth we are not seeing ANYTHING like that!”

    There has been life on earth for approximately 3.5 billion years. There have been modern humans on earth for about 200,000 years, give or take. My guess is that you personally have been alive for less than 50 years. But even if we were to assume that you understood the vast timescales involved or recognized that the personal experiences of your incredibly short lifetime cannot be projected out upon the entire history of the planet (you obviously don’t, on either count), you’d *still* be full of shit.

    Because by definition, *every* fossil is a transitional fossil. Every individual living entity, dead or alive, exists (or existed) as part of a continuum between its ancestors and its descendants. This should be blindingly obvious to anyone with even the most basic understanding of how procreation works.

    Thank you, though, for so gleefully abandoning your moral and intellectual obligation (yes, *obligation*) to have the slightest clue what the hell you’re talking about before you open your mouth. And as for your insistence that you “don’t need evidence for creationism”, yes, you fucking do. Science doesn’t work that way, moron. There is no situation in life in which you get to just say whatever the fuck you want and then get all pissy and self-righteous the instant anyone calls you on it. Your belief to the contrary is likely a sign of a deep-seated narcissistic personality disorder, and you should probably see a psychiatrist about it as soon as possible.

    And on an unrelated note: if you honestly think that “the words ‘separation of church and state’ don’t appear in the Constitution” is an even remotely valid argument, please do the human gene pool a favor and kill yourself and any progeny you may have. If you can’t tell the difference between a legal concept and a specific sequence of words commonly used to represent that legal concept, you are terrible at abstract thought and have no business trying to make an argument about anything, ever.

  • t. rasmussen

    “@ leducviolet – You are absolutely correct. But no one knows what that is, so I’m going to leave it.”

    So you are going to bow to ignorance at the cost of accuracy and truth? You’re as bad as everyone on your list.

  • Margret Hamilton

    MikeC quotes: *********** So, either the biblical scribblers didn’t know what they were talking about, or the meaning of these concepts must be reinterpreted (or retranslated) so that God has a reason to do stuff. My guess is the answer lies somewhere in inventing a third, inarticulable option; with God being omni, and still wanting to do stuff; something that “makes sense” in no way that can be explained to a non-believer.
    Oh, and by the way, Marge. Don’t think I forgot about my question to you: What do we do with the knowledge that causality is at the arbitrary whims of a supernatural agency whose will can’t be known? If you’re keen on undermining the foundation of biological sciences, I want to know where we go from there. Because ID/Creationism is a science, right? So it must have applications, right? Tell me.
    Here’s typically where you’d complain about my vulgarity, and evade the question again.**************

    I will ignore your first half, vulgar portion of your post because I consider its content inane, but more importantly, the answer to that is more or less contained within the answer to your second part above. Here is what I contend: You must be saying there is no way we can determine if God is real while we are here on earth? Because no matter what evidence is out there you will always say not good enough. So, hence, either you contend we can never know or nothing provided will ever be good enough for you. I say that because there is all kinds of evidence that unquestionably says “supernatural, no natural possibility of it occurring.” And, yet, the best I can get from skeptics is “well, we just don’t know the reason for it yet, that doesn’t mean it’s supernatural.”

    Can you not see how pitiful that is? If there is a devil, don’t you think such an answer would delight him uncontrollably? That is, we have all these proud, intelligent rebels who mock God and then when presented the evidence continue to mock and doubt. So in the end when they die, they are lost because they were given the choice and they chose to be proud and defiant and not care enough to be honest about it. That is how I see it.

    Let me let you in on a little secret. Catholic nuns are not in the business of devising clever and complex machines to fool the public about the reality of Jesus. No, they did not sacrifice their whole lives to live in a convent and serve the poor just so they could become mischievous liars and pranksters. They truly believed in their God before they ever took their vows, that much is certain. So when this wooden statue of Mary in Akita kept weeping tears of blood from her eyes for many, many witnesses to see (including being shown on Japanese TV) —– that did not come about because some nuns were spending countless nights in a lab experimenting with a way to devise some machine to trick the public and science as well. And the fact this blood is coming from the eyes of the Virgin Mary should be a strong indicator to you about two other facts —- 1) that ain’t Muhammad talking to us, it is Christ, and 2) when people cry it is because they are sad. Mary’s message is her sadness for how the world has turned their back on their Creator, God.

    So to answer your question in the best way I can: 1) There is all kinds of evidence for the Christian God so I know He exists and I know His Word is truth. 2) Within His Word is this passage from Isaiah 55 — “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

    There is no point in me trying to elaborate here, the message is clear to me. God is saying I have given more than enough evidence for myself, I have given you all you need to know to attain salvation and know what it is I ask of you while on earth. Do not demand from me answers for questions that you are not intended to know at this time. If you use that excuse as a reason not to act upon that which has been revealed, that is your free will.

    Finally, neither God nor religion are at odds with science, but neither can science answer those questions that you ask of God.

  • Margret Hamilton

    Laser, Don’t have a stroke over this, please. But for your edification, I find your first two arguments to be stupid or lazy. I refuse to elaborate, once again, why the fact nothing seriously intermediate between species is around in the last 4,000 years is an untenable probability. Billions of animals and nothing happening. Nor will I address your ridiculous point that every fossil is a transitional fossil. What an embarrassing cop out. What a joke. And what a convenience for you. You have two gods whom you must cling to — 1) natural selection, and 2) time. Natural selection is used to explain everything unexplainable. I know, somehow by hook or by crook, the human cell formed with no less than 1,000 amazing “machines” contained within each cell working in unbelievable complexity and harmony. Natural selection, my foot! And then 2) since you don’t have the evidence as demanded, you resort to saying either “Give it more time” or “It all happened in the past before we were around.” It’s stupid, but it’s all you got. That’s why it remains a theory at best, and that is why some very brave scientists continue to resist your demands. Have a nice day.
    Oh, and on your “separation of church and state” comment: what in the world does that have to do with what we are talking about? I am going to go out on a limb and say that you are probably so insecure with your own world, your own theories, and your total uncertainty of what lies ahead, that you do not want anyone preaching their opinions to you because you simply are not capable of hearing something you do not want to consider. Just a guess on my part.

  • John Many Jars

    It’s only the third week of 2011, and the first line of ‘Charges’ against Sarah Palin is already a shoo-in for Best Harpooning of the Year – an absolutely fucking epic howler.

    Congratulations, sir. Well done.

  • http://mastercaution.wordpress.com Jacob Drum

    Nice nice nice job. Please please please bring back the Most Loathsome Buffalonians list.

  • Laser


    “I refuse to elaborate, once again, why the fact nothing seriously intermediate between species is around in the last 4,000 years is an untenable probability.”

    If you refuse to make an argument, you don’t get to continue to pretend that you’re making an argument. That’s not how argument works.

    Also, the words “seriously”, “intermediate”, “species”, “untenable”, and “probability” don’t mean what you think they mean.

    “Nor will I address your ridiculous point that every fossil is a transitional fossil.”

    I refuse to accept your refusal. Your only valid choices here are A) provide a counter-argument or B) shut the fuck up. Everything else is a deliberate and self-conscious abandonment of the moral and intellectual obligations involved in the process of making an argument.

    “What an embarrassing cop out.”

    This, from the woman who explicitly and quite shamelessly refuses to engage like an adult with any argument I or anyone else has made at any point during this thread? Go fuck yourself.

    “Natural selection is used to explain everything unexplainable.”

    That sentence doesn’t even make sense. If I can explain it, then by definition, it’s not unexplainable. Because that’s what the word “explain” means.

    “I know, somehow by hook or by crook, the human cell formed with no less than 1,000 amazing “machines” contained within each cell working in unbelievable complexity and harmony.”

    It took 3.5 billion years to get to this point. I realize that your tiny little mind can’t even come close to comprehending such large numbers, but that doesn’t make them go away. And despite all that time, human cells *STILL* go haywire and stop functioning, constantly, on a day-to-day basis, in every single human being on the planet. Your cells are dying by the tens of thousands, all over your body, RIGHT THIS VERY INSTANT. Cancer isn’t God’s punishment for your many, many spiritual and/or ideological transgressions. It’s just your DNA fucking up. Shit happens. Deal with it.

    Thank you, though, for proving my point that in addition to obviously not having the first fucking clue what the hell you’re talking about, you simply lack the imagination or the mental processing power to comprehend — or even, apparently, acknowledge the very existence of — anything that hasn’t happened to you personally within your direct field of vision.

    For the record, you gave it away with the “somehow”. “Somehow” is what people say when they DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED.


    “And then 2) since you don’t have the evidence as demanded”

    This, from the woman who explicitly and quite shamelessly declared that *her* claims don’t require evidence at all? Go fuck yourself.

    “what in the world does that have to do with what we are talking about?”

    Ah, I think I begin to see your problem. In addition to being a narcissistic idiot with no concept of reality, you’re also completely illiterate!

    (Hint: I preceded my comment on separation of church and state with, and I quote, the phrase “on an unrelated note,” which carries a rather strong implication that the subject may have changed.)

    I do quite appreciate the obviously unintended irony of your supposed summation, however. I’d tell you to go look up the psychological concept known as “projection,” but it seems likely that you’d consider it just another left-wing conspiracy designed to make you feel bad about being stupid, which you will doubtless react to by becoming even *more* pathologically narcissistic and convinced of your own infallibility.

    TL;DR: I haven’t changed my mind in the face of your “arguments,” Margaret, not because I’m incapable of changing my mind, but because you’re incapable of providing anything sufficient to make me.

    Do not dare to make the mistake of assuming that just because you spend your entire life talking directly out of your asshole, everyone else must do it, too. Not everyone has so openly, proudly, and completely rejected the moral and intellectual responsibility to know what the fuck we are talking about, as you have.

  • Dan L.

    Creationist idiots aside, I have a bone to pick about the 2010 list

    No room for serial sexual assaulter and NFL Jesus-boi Ben Roethlisberger? Really? Surely he’s loathsome enough to beat out a TV cook!

  • Dan L.

    Mmmm…”Creationist idiots” is redundant.


  • BROnonymous

    not sure i ‘get it’

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.

    Margret Hamilton

    Of my own observations, perhaps I’ve squandered too much time thinking about arguments such as yours, since I don’t profit from their actual content. But I’ll say this: they’ve equipped me to understand your ilk (and Rand’s; and any other unconditional believers) well enough to predict what your reaction would be.

    As I thought, the vulgarity in my comments would provide the escape hatch you needed to avoid its content. Now, for your tender, fragile constitution, I’ll summarize, sans my dysphemisms. It depends solely on the internal logic presented by biblical literalists, through the view of post-Enlightenment philosophical logic and science; which most Christians tacitly acknowledge through the their benefit from the sciences. So the contention that your beliefs are not at odds with science is false. I determine this based upon the logical conclusions that can be drawn from the premises you’ve granted. They can only be reconciled through cognitive dissonance into something incoherent. Which is your schtick.

    You say that God is real no matter what the evidence? Do you realize the fallacy in that, and its broad implications? You’re committing special pleading; applying an arbitrary exceptionalism to your particular beliefs. But that same logic can be applied to any claim, and aside from your personal preference to acknowledge some unproven claims and not others, you have no basis to deny them.

    Your own logic now allows for the existence of anything that’s ever been claimed by anyone, ever. Dragons, unicorns, the manticore, leprechauns, dwende, the griffin, Allah, Kolob, Vishnu, phlogiston theory, astrology. The list goes on forever — literally. As long as anyone can say anything exists at all, your logic is vulnerable to it.

    You won’t admit this, or even allow yourself to comprehend it. I don’t expect you to. Instead, I expect you to resort to scripture some more, become more intransigent about the certain, yet unproven (and, using your own claims, unprovable and inconsistent), exceptional existence of your particular God, as “proven” by one of the most scattered and incoherent books ever compiled.

    And you still didn’t answer my question. Nice evasion.

  • sneezy

    Damon Lindelof cannot be bashed or mocked enough for taking THE best damn show on television and royally fucking it over.

  • Margret Hamilton

    Right, MikeC, I am evading you. I must tell you that your meandering postulations did not resonate with me. And using big words as weapons wasn’t much help either. I am not trying to be rude, I can see that we have probably exhausted our exchange here. But as far as I am concerned, I already answered you above, and for the sake of time, because I must leave the office, I am going to reprint those comments. You, on the other hand, surely do not have to re-read them. And no, it was not your vulgarity that gave me an out to dodge your first portion. It was just too base I thought.


    MikeC. Thanks for weighing in. Sorry, if thousands of books, thousands of saints, and thousands of eye witnesses cannot bring any light to your mind for evidence for God, please don’t think you’ve won the case because I can neither do the same in a couple of paragraphs. What I can suggest to you is that there is factual proof of supernatural occurrences for which science nor atheists have any explanation whatsoever. So what do they do? They ignore it and forget about it, not unlike mainstream media. Why? Because they do not want to know, it will make them accountable for their actions all the more.

    Example: The Shroud of Turin. They don’t know the faultiness associated with the carbon 14 findings, they don’t care, it’s settled in their anti-religious minds. I suggest you read up on it. More importantly, science and the media run as fast as they can from trying to explain all the miraculous qualities of that image on the cloth because they have no answers. All they want to say is “fake,” but they don’t dare try to address how all those qualities happened. Call it intellectual dishonesty.

    You can use that term as it applies to the facts surrounding Fatima 1917, Zeitoun, Egyp 1968 and Akita, Japan 1973. Fatima is beyond doubt, the Virgin Mary surely appeared. Same with Zeitoun, beyond doubt. In Akita, the wooden statue of Mary wept tears of blood 101 times including before science and medical experts who did a thorough examination and concluded “no natural explanation available.” But most don’t care, they can just blurt out “trickery by the nuns” or some inane reply.

  • http://www.chenillemacabre.com/amputheatre Gil Merritt

    I’m sorry; I just can’t ignore Margret any longer. But I will hold back on my vulgarity to ensure that she reads this.

    “The best I can get from skeptics is ‘well, we just don’t know the reason for it yet, that doesn’t mean it’s supernatural.’ Can you not see how pitiful that is?”
    Well Margret, I guess that’s where you and I differ. You think it’s pitiful that a person may want to do more research before reaching a factual conclusion, and I think it’s SAD that a person would throw their hands up, say “I give up, it must be magic” and then happily live the rest of their life in superstition and fear.

    “If there were a devil, don’t you think such-”
    So you’re not sure whether the devil exists or not. I don’t believe in him whatsoever. I say let’s not worry about him then, and continue with the fact-finding.

    “…neither God nor religion are at odds with science…”
    I… I… I just… wow. Margret dear, I hope you’re sitting down for this…

    Religion IS at odds with science! It has BEEN at odds with science for HUNDREDS OF YEARS! That’s where your precious Creationism COMES from: religious people in conflict with scientists! Galileo did not CHOOSE to spend the rest of his life indoors! The Scopes Trial did not concern a plaintiff getting ill from mouthwash!! Do you actually LOOK at anything you’re writing before you submit your comments?

    The only thing you’ve “proven” here- eleven times at last count- is why “You” deserve the number one spot on this list.


  • Dave

    Painfully accurate list. Reminds me why I don’t want to leave the house, go outside or turn on the TV.

    Only criticisms are Damon Lindelof (Oh, it wasn’t that bad.) and Paula Dean. While Dean is comically, perennially loathsome, she hasn’t been excessively loathsome this year to get her the last spot.

    I’d suggest someone to fill those spots and then I’d just get mad. So I won’t.

  • http://yellowfat.wordpress.com Dixon L. Creasey, Jr.

    Yep. Just–yep. Unfortunately, we deserve what we get, which would make killing all these douchebags not only ironic (illegal and immoral, too, but who’s counting?)*, but less fun than it sounds because, like Hydra, two more fuck-tards would rise in place of each one. We would rue the day. Days don’t like being rued.

    *I know you never mentioned killing anyone, but a boy can dream, can’t he? He can dream of a world without dillholes; without vitriol, calumny or obfuscation.
    He can dream of a world without fake journalists and real scoundrels.
    He can dream of a world where we piss rainbows and tequila; a world where malfeasance, misfeasance and nonfeasance does not exist, and where people that post on others’ blogs avoid using big words to make themselves sound erudite and shit.
    Yep–a boy can dream…can I go fuck off now?

  • Kirk

    What, No Bernie Madoff?
    Or was it because he really only stole from the righ anyhow… good for him! LOL

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.

    Margret Hamilton

    I appreciate your reposting the same comment. It’s more honest a way of repeating a cant than going through the trouble of reiterating it with new words. Especially for one with such a limited repertoire. I’m sorry for my fancy words, Maggie. It’s the result of reading more than one book; rather than relying on the poorly translated, misogynistic, racist, provincial, mythological gibberish of authors unknown for the ultimate rebuttal. All while benefitting from a medium produced by the same consistent, cautious, rigorous deductive reasoning that lead to, and now utilizes, the product of Darwin’s theories.

    It’s because of that same attitude of giving more credence to claims that are substantiated, repeatable, that one can prove or disprove — tentatively, as all scientific claims are subject to new findings — that your repeated miracle citations are so vapid. You’re committing a fallacy again; this time it’s the appeal from ignorance.

    “I don’t know if x, therefore y.”

    When one can’t reasonably conclude anything from a belief, and then some unknown variable. Occam’s Razor (a religious guy, ironically) would suggest the simplest answer, which would be the desperation of an adamant believer for factual confirmation of the premises of their salvation (and justification for wasting their lives on mythology), a misinterpretation of some mundane phenomena, or an outright hoax.

    The Shroud of Turin? Let’s say the carbon dating is wrong. Where does that leave us? The sole alternative is that it fits the timeline YOU happen to LIKE? Let’s say that your undemonstrated timeline is correct; now I should suppose that the unprecedented, unwitnessed, and unrepeatable act of inexplicably Xeroxing one’s self to a burial cloth is the most logical answer? That no one would create a hoax in an institution desperate (and unable) to legitimize its claims since day one?

    Once again, plying your hilarious brand of logic to things you’d rather not believe in out of mere preference, one could easily conclude that any unidentified aircraft belongs to extraterrestrials. That specks of dust caught in the camera flash are ghostly “orbs.” Your logic is full of… uh, holes. (I don’t want to offend thee.)

    As with any of the omniscient God’s alleged actions, the outcome of this exchange was known in advance. Unlike that God, I have the benefit of knowing where I begin and end; so I can put a healthy distance between myself and suckers like you.

    But this isn’t for you. It’s for someone reading; a person that may or may not exist. Someone with a few braincells left, wondering in what specific ways you’re wrong.

    Also, you failed to answer my question. I’ll take your example, and repeat it: What do we do with Creationism? How does an inscrutable arbitrariness fit into an application?

  • Margret Hamilton

    Fair enough. But as some priest once told me, you cannot argue with a closed mind. Which may be the case here. Be well.

  • polarbearhero

    Lindelof is a loathsome American just because you didn’t like the ending of his TV show (which I loved btw)? A bit of an over reaction? This tells me a lot about your criteria so I skipped to number 1. Cross out “you” and put in “me”.

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.

    Margret Hamilton

    “But as some priest once told me, you cannot argue with a closed mind.”

    Not a fan of irony, I gather.


  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.

    I also want to note, Maggie, you didn’t answer any of my questions. Not a one. You dodged because it was vulgar, evaded when it wasn’t, changed the subject to miracles rather than address the anatomy or contradictory experience of omniscience/omnipotence with the actions described in the bible, and you never explained where Intelligent Design/Creationism offers a practical replacement for the theory of evolution, which is in use today (aside from comforting the mentally feeble).

    You can return to dusting your china hutch, and picking the right beach scene for your computer wallpaper now.

    Thanks for playing.

  • Margret Hamilton

    If it were not for Christianity there would have been no great advances in Western civilization, in science and higher learning and government and beyond. But I cannot debate any longer as my time is needed elsewhere. But since you posted here now, I feel I owe you one in return.

    First, if you are implying Christianity stands on one appearance of the Virgin Mary or some weeping statue you are being purposefully intellectually lazy in my opinion. The Christian faith and Catholic Church stands on many pillars of evidence, fact, history, truth, miracles, charity and so on. That is the preponderance of evidence where as one book title puts it “Evidence that demands a Verdict.”

    Consider :

    For Christianity to be false, all the following must be false as well and all the eye witnesses over the centuries to what they have claimed to see must be liars and knowingly lived a lie.

    It would have to begin with Jesus was a fraud and all that was claimed of him lies.

    Apostles and gospel writers very clever connivers but nothing more.
    early church martyrs – fools who peacefully went to their deaths to continue the ruse

    The Bible – an enormously amazingly contrived pieces of manuscripts that show astute connections with each other, yet, all done by some scholars to deceive, an ongoing conspiracy for many centuries it would have to be.

    All prophecies that can reasonably be documented as having come true would be coincidence at best. No reason to think it might be God speaking to His people in His way.

    Brilliant minds of saints who wrote theology and performed alleged miracles, written upon extensively, all disillusioned fools or charlatans.
    Missionaries to the New World and Asia who willingly were tortured and killed in order to share the gift of salvation. Bold yet so deceived it would again have to be.

    Thousands of healings unexplained by medicine — mind control or beautifully composed accounts with the necessary accomplices. Again, total lies every one for no God to true.

    The Christian faith spoke mostly of love and mercy and how can anyone deny all of the charity, kindness and sacrifice the Church has given to the entire world? Hospitals, universities, schools, by the untold thousands. The cynic will point to the Inquisition or the Spanish conquerors in S. America and demand total holiness of Catholic subjects or feel justified in saying all that you claim of Jesus is false. That is not well thought out.
    How many weeping statues of Jesus and Mary are the nuns capable of rigging to fool the public and investigators? Now that is some gimmick.
    How many other miraculous images or events have to be assembled? 500,000 Egyptians saw Mary or some woman on top of a Cathedral in 1968 on 20 occasions. No natural explanation ever offered. Two articles in the NY Times that year in May and August report on this phenomenon.

    The Fatima miracle — yes, this one cannot be so easily explained away. It is the Virgin Mary, not Muhammad or Buddha, providing the greatest miracle of the twentieth century, documented and written upon beyond denial. What is this? God speaking to man, or another mass hallucination of 70,000 people. I might remind you that the three young children on July 13 said to the people that Mary told them on October 13 a miracle will be performed for all to see. That was why there were 70,000 present because of the prediction. So now what do you proud disbelievers call that, just a coinicidence? No miracle has ever rivaled Fatima in the history of man save for the Resurrection.
    Then there is the Shroud of Turin, stigmatas, incorruptible saints, exorcisms, and as I said, it fills thousands of books.

    I leave you, MikeC and anyone else on this board (because I have other duties now) with the words the visionary Pachi of Ecuador told the people what the Virgin Mary had said to her:

    “There is no peace because of pride and pride is the cancer of the soul. You are lacking humility. Your lack of humility is the greatest fault. Only on bended knees can you come to understand God. ”

    Pachi assured the group that our personal crosses are of the exact perfect measurement for the needs of each soul — not any bigger, not any smaller — and that we should accept them with love because God knows how much suffering we can bear and what is necessary for our salvation.

  • Margret Hamilton

    Forgot, that last long and final post of mine was meant for Gil, not MikeC. My first error here :)

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.

    Margret Hamilton

    Whether you replied to me or not, I’ll bite.

    There are no contemporary accounts of Christ’s existence (i.e. during the span he supposedly lived). Historians place the authoring of the gospels at about seventy years after the death of the alleged person. They were attributed long after the fact, to followers who would have had to live that long after his execution before penning them, in a time when the average male life expectancy was in the thirties or forties (IIRC).

    Their similarity occurred because stories were propagated by copying. Unlike Jesus with the Shroud, ancient Christians didn’t have access to Xerox technology. This explains both their similarities, and their differences. If they had been penned by competing/indifferent interests, or on different continents, with unequivocal references to the same person, you might have something.

    Non-Christian sources often cited, like Josephus, were active even bloody longer after the supposed fact, and his debatable reference is remarkably brief for someone ostensibly remarking on the living incarnation of Yahweh.

    The bible benefits substantially from having obscure authors. If Mark were alive today, for instance, he’d be on about the same footing as L. Ron Hubbard or Joseph Smith. The former was especially unfortunate, living in an age of video cameras, so his gruesome visage, and paranoid ramblings could be captured in real time.

    I believe you when you say you’re too busy. So do get back to things. That cardigan ain’t gonna crochet itself. And the countdown is rapid on the Deluxe Hummel collection via QVC.

  • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

    Surely Margaret can’t be leaving us before she explains how tens of millions of people managed to miss seeing the Sun dance around in the sky, right?

  • Dan L.

    And how can she leave without explaining why, if the New Testament is God’s pure truth, more than half His children don’t believe it.

    Not very impressive results for an omnipotent deity, eh Margaret?

  • Ozinator


    Can you point to Dan’s mistake without throwing out the baby? You can do it, Son! You are so close to learning here!

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Are you retarded?

  • Parker

    This is a pretty good article, but sheesh, give Kentucky a break. We’re not all stupid hicks. Rash generalization of large groups of people is one of America’s biggest psychological problems (just saying).

    You make great points about the people listed here, but you also keep throwing in unnecessary jabs like that one and Glenn Beck’s “white power” rally. Don’t get me wrong, I hate Glenn as much as the next guy, but making (relatively) baseless accusations just takes a little away from your credibility.

    Anyways, mostly a nice read.

  • Jimmy

    Okay, I can understand not having Meg Whitman and Carly Fiorina because of the sheer amount of contenders this year, but you guys had no excuse not to put in Newt Gingrich.

  • Jimmy

    Or Bachmann for that matter.

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  • hjakfhak

    The guy who wrote this is obviously queer.

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  • Rowan Watson

    To everyone who is offended by #1, whether it fits you or not…. get the fuck over yourselves. If it fits you, don’t be offended….change! And if it doesn’t fit you, the author obviously wasn’t talking to you, so….forget it!

    Gods, people are so fucking touchy.

  • Russ G

    This list was prepared by the Democratic National Committee.

  • builder

    Are you serious? Mohamed Mohamed was essentially cajoled and goaded for weeks from the vague anti-western sentiment that many immigrants and liberals share into that ridiculous entrapment of a bombing plot. The real scum here are the FBI, not the kid.

  • Rowan Watson

    Okay, I just have to comment on this:

    Margaret Hamilton said “If it were not for Christianity there would have been no great advances in Western civilization, in science and higher learning and government and beyond.”

    Rrrriiiiiiggggghhhhht….. because the Ancient Greeks, when they decided to try Democracy on for size were all Christian.

    Just for (sarcastic) fun, here’s some more obviously Christian scientific discoveries! (For the sake of continuity, I’ll leave out anything from the Far East, as Margaret was “making a point” about the Western world.)

    400 BC: the astronomer Oenopedes (5th. century). also a Greek, announces that the Earth is tilted on its axis with respect to the Sun.

    340 BC: The astronomer, Kidinnu (b. Babylon c. 379 BC) discovers the precession of the Equinoxes, ie the apparent change in the position of the stars caused by the Earth’s wobbling on its axis.

    In medicine, Herophilos (335 – 280 BC) was the first to base his conclusions on dissection of the human body and to describe the nervous system.

    Then there’s the Antikythera mechanism (150-100 BC). It is a 37-gear mechanical computer which computed the motions of the Sun and Moon, including lunar and solar eclipses predicted on the basis of astronomical periods believed to have been learned from the Babylonians.

    Geometers such as Archimedes (ca. 287 BC – 212 BC), Apollonius of Perga (ca. 262 BC – ca. 190 BC) , and Euclid (ca. 325 BC – 265 BC), whose Elements became the most important textbook in mathematics until the 19th century, built upon the work of the Hellenic era Pythagoreans. Eratosthenes used his knowledge of geometry to measure the distance between the Sun and the Earth along with the size of the Earth.

    I could go on and on, but I think that’s enough for now.

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.

    Russ G Says

    Obama is on the list (among others), dipshit. Is he not enough of a mainstream Democrat (e.g. corporate stooge) for you? Did you even read the list? Do you ever read ANYTHING?

    We hate the the fucking Democrats. Whatever you think of leftist policies, they haven’t represented them at all. We call ‘em as we see ‘em, and the Republicans and Libertarians happen to be even more blatantly and consistently despicable.

  • proterozoic

    This list is tendentious, profane, and there are way too many calls for violent reprisals.

    However, I have to hand it to you for mentioning “The Secret.”

  • Dee Smith

    Thankfully, I’ve heard about some of these people, know something about a few of them. Not crazy about what was written about each, even if I don’t know who they are, but you did get #1 right.

  • http://bookspromiscuouslyread.blogspot.com/ Nullifidian


    The Fatima miracle — yes, this one cannot be so easily explained away. It is the Virgin Mary, not Muhammad or Buddha, providing the greatest miracle of the twentieth century, documented and written upon beyond denial. What is this? God speaking to man, or another mass hallucination of 70,000 people. I might remind you that the three young children on July 13 said to the people that Mary told them on October 13 a miracle will be performed for all to see. That was why there were 70,000 present because of the prediction. So now what do you proud disbelievers call that, just a coinicidence?

    No, it’s not a coincidence. The fact that they were primed by this ‘prophecy’ to see something miraculous explains the fact that the credulous people who showed up all suffered from the same mass hallucination. And I highly doubt there were ever 70,000 people present in Fatima. Like the number of people who claim to have shown up to Woodstock has grown out of all proportion in the decades after the event.

    You claim that the sun “danced” in violation of the laws of physics. Well, the sun that shines on Fatima isn’t a specially Portuguese sun; it’s the sun that shines over us all. So at the time there were, say, 2 billion people in the world, and all of them, minus this tiny minority, completely failed to detect anything strange going on. Conclusion: the people at Fatima were deluding themselves, because if things had really happened the way they claimed, the whole world would have noticed. Contrary to Catholic dogma, the Fatima ‘miracle’ is wholly unworthy of belief.

    It’s also worth noting that one of the prophecies associated with the alleged ‘visitation’ at Fatima was the complete conversion of Russia to Catholicism. So how is that going so far? The dear Virgin certainly seemed to have completely misread the plot, because what ‘conversion’ there was in Russia was to communism after the 1917 October Revolution. Now Russia is still largely secular/apathetic, with most people either disregarding religion entirely or going along with a low-key Orthodox faith. The only people het up about religion in the country are a handful of radicalized Muslims in Dagestan and Chechnya.

  • Ozinator


    and Jews (more so i you include identity with religion as a race)

  • magiclasso

    And a whole bunch of #1s complain about Barack Obama and how he is single handed destroying the country. No these people most definitely had no part in helping.

  • LSD Lingua

    This list makes me smile. You all do. The fact that a bunch of sycophantic pseudo-intellectuals can coalesce all of their mind mucus into one large angry interweb-sneeze sends me into giggle fits that have nothing to do with the massive amount of drugs and booze that it takes to launch me into the deranged illusion that they have some sort of merit or incalculable value… which they do! … but I think I need more booze to see it… or for everyone to just die…hee hee hee!

  • blueto

    i see a webmaster with no good idea yet

  • Gordo

    Some of your comments are not fact based but tour mastery of words and sense of humor are excellent. George Soros on film said he enjoyed collapsing economies. It made him feel like a God. He should have been on your list.

  • http://n/a Leonard

    You left out Nancy Grace :(

  • Kate

    Awesome. But, did you have to bring Portland into it? It’s all good.

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  • Jesse

    …still the for-profit Capella University ad pays your hosting bills…

    Maybe #1 should be “Us.”

    [Jesse, We had a Scientology ad up the other day. We don't care how you morons waste your thetans money. We openly hate you. But way to stick up for one of the biggest slimeballs in Congress! That takes guts. -IM]

  • Kelli

    Pretty sure Rand Paul was not named for Ayn Rand, but it’s a common misconception.

    [Pretty sure Ron Paul wavered between calling him Randal and Aynus, so he could shorten it. He should have went with Aynus. But yeah, we changed it to "Nicknamed and molded..." Happy? Good. - IM]

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.


    I don’t have any investment in his namesake, but I have to speculate. At the least, his name poses a strange coincidence. It’s not outside of possibility that his father could have named him “Randal” in a less obvious reference of the “author.”

    Wikipedia has Ron citing Ayn Rand (and Von Mises) as influential, yet on a video clip I can recall him being asked about it point blank, and his equivocating response that she had some interesting ideas.

    But what’s the stance of Randal? Yes, the official line is that it’s coincidental. But I also find it hard to believe he’s not exploiting the appeal it might have for Tea Baggers.

  • YouSuckIanMurphy

    Tea Party racist??? Show me one example you douchebag.

    Comapre Tea Party rallies to any liberal progressive rally/protest. Not one arrest or police involved incident at the tea party rallies. Can’t even come close to saying the same for the libs….

    [Um... http://blackchristiannews.com/news/images/teapartypic-ngr-sign.jpg ]

  • Anteprepro

    The fact of the matter regarding the Tea Party is that, first off, it cannot explained entirely by populist anger. The Tea Party is presented as a group that protests run-away government influence and spending. This would be all well and good if the lie wasn’t put to that claim by context: that no such Tea Party existed during the expansion of executive power and economic excesses of the Bush administration, with all protests of this activity coming almost exclusively from the left-wing. The fact that the Tea Party spawned only after Obama was elected leads one to believe that pure partisanship is also a driving factor for the Teabaggers. Yet, partisanship too would seem insufficient to explain the sheer intensity and outright insanity that is Tea partiers’ enthusiasm for their woefully misinformed causes. This is where the racism explanation can come in. It is in fact the only logical way to explain both this irrational intensity and some of the best canards that the Tea Party has pulled directly from their anuses to hurl at Obama. The idea that he is a secret Muslim and the idea that he wasn’t really born in America are both accusations that would not seriously be leveled against a white president, no matter how Nazi-Marxist they believed his health care to be.

    As for the arrests: True Tea Parties would never anything but the utmost civility at their protests. The things that they get arrested for, they make sure they do outside of their little celebrations: http://hadleyives.blogspot.com/2011/01/recent-right-wing-violence-or-threats.html

    Though to be frank, if many Tea Partiers were getting arrested just for protesting, you’d be shitting your pants about The Obama Orwelllian Thought-Police State, wouldn’t you? Yeah…

  • JamesT


  • Enyap

    “Horny for the NRA; signed law nixing concealed carry permits, which had no ill effects in 2010. None”

    Because a man hellbent on mass murder wouldn’t want to break the law and carry without a permit.

  • Joseph Sciortino

    ^ How did he get the arms?

  • joseph wales

    how the hell did Julia Allison aka Julia Baugher not make this list? that’s what i find most incredible!!!

  • steve

    Nancy Grace is not on this list, making whole thing invalid.

  • Miles Jacob

    Paula Deen makes food worth eating (occasionally) and seems like a reasonably normal person. The loathsome one is Sandra Lee of “Semi-Homemade” who mixes together processed foods into disgusting piles and then sticks some festive decorations on top and calls it cooking. Psychologically she is inscrutable and probably evil.

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  • http://www.thepalinode.com palinode

    I’m already living out the sentence you prescribed for me. Time for a cup of tea.

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  • Steven

    ACORN was an admirable agency…




    [Steve, You have no fucking clue what's going on in the world. - IM]

  • http://www.donthatebill.com DontHateBill

    Great list! However, you didn’t include Margret Hamilton, God (who is definitely American), or the street bootlegger in DC, who sold me a copy of Money Train 2: Latino Locomotive (Starring Lou Diamond Phillips), which ended up being Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace dubbed in French… and I thought Jar Jar Binx was annoying in English!
    @Mike C @Rowan @Gil – Thanks for ruining heaven for me
    PS – Margret’s prose give me a boner… I bet she’s super hot

  • Greggah


    Sorry I’ve been off for a couple days. I think I started the vaccine arguement but don’t understand why I got lumped in with creationists. I am certainly not one. I am firmly grounded in science in fact I have a B.S. in Science specializing in Sports Medicine. I am not even anti-vax as I have been brushed with. I believe caution should be taken in this ever changing controversial process. The number of vaccines have gone from less than 10 20 years ago to over 40 by the age of 5. As a parent I will not just take one Doctor’s word for it and I certainly do not trust the FDA or the CDC…sorry. Medications have more warnings and side effects than benefits now and I am skeptical. Consider how many drugs are being pulled of the market because of deaths or injuries (Vioxx for one). Also, the stats on the Jenny McCarthy site need to be updated. The FDA sat on and didn’t release stats until a FOIA request was made on a 3 year study of Gardisil that reported 789 “serious adverse reactions” including 213 permanent disabilities and 16 deaths. http://usgovinfo.about.com/b/2010/10/01/vaccination-related-deaths-unreported-by-fda.htm Look it up. One final note. Did you know that pharmaceutical companies are not liable for vaccine related injuries. They are protected by the government who pays out millions of dollars every year…yes taxpayer dollars to cover the medical expenses of those who have adverse reactions. It is called the vaccine injury compensation fund. All I’m saying is parents should educate themselves and advocate for their babies.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Greggah: I think lumping antivaxers (please spare me the “I’m not antivax” line) in with creationists is fair because both positions depend on believing that most relevant experts are colluding in a massive lie and that all the evidence is somehow faked. I’ve already said that vaccines are not 100% safe, which is why I said they were relatively safer, similar to safety belts. Some people die from car accidents where they might’ve survived if they weren’t wearing a seat belt, but we still mandate them by law.

  • Duley McPherson

    Tremendously subversive!

    A hearty pat on the back fellas!

    I like the part where, fuggit, I liked all the parts! You hit a home run with this one.

    You boring fuck.

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  • Chris

    The Lindelof one makes me roll my eyes and makes me think of The Simpsons episode where Comic Book Guy calls that one Itchy and Scratchy episode the worst ever in which Bart responds with a spot on response “they’ve given you thousands of hours of entertainment for free! If anything, you owe them.” Here’s an idea: TURN OFF THE TV IF YOU DON’T LIKE WHAT YOU SEE! Derp

  • Chris

    Further reading this list, good God are you a bitch. Does Jay Cutler have anything to do with this site by any chance?

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  • Burgey frm Australia

    Mel Gibson, and it pains me a great deal to say this, is Australian.

    But you can have him.

  • Reality Check

    Hatred begets hatred, you self-righteous prick. If you’re so sick of the world, why don’t you go do something positive for it,
    like millions of others, instead of hiding behind your accusatory rhetoric, you coward. And I’m sure you’ve completely accepted
    meaninglessness, because you’re just above it all and don’t have to cope with any harsh realities. Oh wait no, that’s wrong, considering
    you clearly demonstrate a serious superiority complex. Troubling childhood? Your staggering compartmentalization of the American majority
    discredits all your other opinions and reveals that your brain is just as much the result of blind evolution as the monkeys you described,
    but your badge is considerably bigger and worn with much more pride. Get off your power trip. All of us barbarians know how to blog.

  • Reality Check

    as those of the monkeys*

  • Anonymous

    Wow, you hate the human race, you’re SOOOOO Nietzschean!!! Aren’t you so hip for pointing out the flaws of humanity and saying that every american is the most loathsome person in the world. Well I have a device that will solve your problems. It’s called an anti-resurrection device. It basically brings people back from the dead, only in reverse. It’s really quite easy, you just put it to your head and pull this little lever…

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.

    Reality Check

    Who are you talking to? There are several self-righteous pricks behind this article. Are you talking to a commenter? To Jesus? I can’t tell. But then I guess Reality is never clear cut. That’s why I try to escape it whenever I can.

    On the subject, I’ve recently gotten into helping my community. Every day I used to see gang bangers dealing in front of the local high school. I called the cops, planted some evidence, money might’ve changed hands — anyway, the thugs are on their 3rd strikes and doing life. I predict an unfortunate random stabbing might befall them in the yard before they start talking some BS to their attorneys.

    The important thing is now I can get those kids pure crystal they demand at reasonable prices. Hey, you think impressive CVs just HAPPEN?

    Also, in the future, please link to your barbaric blog, and provide your real name; so you can, at least retroactively, appear consistent with the explicit premise of your own comments.

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.


    I don’t agree with the premise of your comments. Guns are very messy, inconsiderate, and passé. They’ve been done to death; used by the likes of Hunter Thompson, and Hemingway (like Moleskines).

    But I do like your V for Vendetta mask, and think your de-centralized protests of Scientology have always been entertaining.

    Keep doing The Lord’s work.

  • Anteprepro

    [Looks at Reality Check, Anonymous, and the similar comments from butthurt conservatives. Shakes head]
    Apparently, there are a lot of people on the internet who just don’t know how humor works. Whodda thunk?

  • Chet Lemons

    Leftist drivel. Yawn….

  • ChocoBabiChan

    You leave Paula Deen alone! Shes awesome! Hater! lol

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  • Dave

    I love the list, I love the comments, I love the HATE.

  • Jimmy

    Rand Paul and Mitch McConnell. What a pair of Senators Kentucky has!

  • Jimmy

    No Dr. Laura? Whaat?

  • chommy

    I agree with everything but the inclusion of Gaga.

    Of all the annoying popstars, Katy Perry, Kesha, Taylor Swift, etc., you choose the one who actually seems nice and is actually using her fame for good. -_-

  • Zippy

    Okay, now may we have a version that’s not so tilted to the left, please?

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  • http://giveusthisdayourdailydread.blogspot.com/ jurassicpork

    I’ve been doing my own top 50 list for three years now and this is my latest one. Sorry I beat you to it, old chaps, but that’s the way it goes.

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.



    But I understand your frustration. You’ll have to content yourself with a grossly disproportionate representation in politics and media, serving as fluffer for billionaire subsidy queens, and being driven by a shapeless, inarticulable fear of change.

  • sean hannity

    hey jurassicpork, you just made a total dipshit out of yourself. the beast has been doing this list since 2002. not the current writers, but the paper itself, beat you to it 6 years so stfu and gtfo before ikyfa!

  • poopcake

    Oh my goodness. the “author” of this “list” is obviously a liebrul, demoncrap loathsome individual. praise jesus


    the retards really come out of the woodwork when you rub sand in their vaginas with mean words

  • username

    I’m not most of those things you said i was

  • Dave

    Oh look, another liberal who thinks he’s a comedian. Mind you I was yawning even before I detected the leftist tilt. This is a ranting sociopolitical version of MuchMusic’s “Video on Trial”, which is the biggest waste of airtime. You can’t just spew hate-filled rants with a humour-implied tint and expect it to be funny. Most people will roll their eyes, facepalm and change the channel. Speaking of which, off I go.

  • http://www.cinemasucks.com/ Mike C.


    MuchMusic, you say? Thanks for confessing your intellectual depth and country of origin in one fell swoop.

    Note that these are loathsome Americans, not loathsome “North Americans,” so it’s naturally not at all funny to you. Next time, I’ll lobby for the provision of French-language entries alongside the ones written in a non-effeminate language. I’ll limit all of them to non-vitriolic studies of “North American” politicians, so “most people” can share in your sobbing boredom.

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  • CC

    George W. Bush gets the “Worst President ever” tagline for all the things they have mentioned in this list and still gets a cozy 29th spot… Ooookaaaayyy….

  • Jlw

    The Shroud of Turin was proven to be a man named Meshach, not Jesus.

  • Bing

    Every single faggot complaining about the list or pretending not to care about the list is the same damn person.

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  • Jose

    Fuck you Texas rules.

  • Alyssa

    this is extremely hateful. it’s not these people who are making the world a bad place; it’s people like you who think that their opinion is the end-all be-all and that they can say whatever they want about whomever they want. regardless of whether i agree with the people being dissed in this article is irrelevant (however, i don’t agree with all of them). but it’s this kind of negativity that is taking the world downhill; not a string of random celebrities that it’s cool to hate.

  • Dave

    Did Charles Johnson’s ponytail write this list?

  • Sean Hannity

    Why, yes, Allyssa – they do think they “can say whatever they want about whoever they want” – this is america ya dumb bird

  • dale

    Not bad. Two from that list are Australian (at least for me they are)

  • Alyssa

    Sean Hannity
    Oh no! your pointless attack on my intellect has rendered my sane reasonable argument totally invalid! whatever shall i do?

  • Alyssa

    p.s. you spelled my name wrong when it was in front of your face. who’s the dumb bird now?

  • Anteprepro

    Yeah, it’s not influential media figures and politicians who degrade our culture, it’s people making fun of those people on the internet!
    Comedy is serious business.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      Hey, don’t break up our ego trip. I was actually kind of proud that at least one person (Alisa? Did I get that right? Close enough) thinks we’re more important than two Presidents, members of Congress, nationally syndicated media people and Lebron James.

      Now I’m off to go start another war!

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  • Mr. Peter Moss

    This 50 most loathsome list is really funny and always has been a highlight of the Beast. Perhaps syndication would generate a revenue stream sorely needed here. The demise of the print issue has denied the loyal Beast readers of the joy of reading these amusing articles. Although the publication lost much of it’s original creative talent and thus a majority of it’s entertainment value, it was still worth picking up. But Mr. Fallon’s inability to operate a viable publication has resulted in another unseen, soon to be forgotten by whomever even remembers it, website. Behind every successful man is a good woman, and behind some not so successful man is a good woman to help him pay his bills. Right Mr. Fallon? The only remaining question is how long will it take Mr.”thin skinned” Fallon to remove this post? The truly great ones can take it as well as dish it out. Can the Beast take it? Probably not! Don’t worry Beast, hardly anyone reads your website so who will read this comment. Please don’t be embarrassed by this. Just be embarrassed that all your hard work to produce these pages goes out to so few loyal followers. Your former readers would miss you if they even remembered that you had ever existed.

  • imagol4

    You. Worst. Blogger. Ever. It’s quite obvious you have unresolved issues from your childhood. You seem to hate everyone, and everything. Even a casual observer can see that the people you chose are merely stand-ins for the things you really dislike. The last one tells the tale, a generalized “You”. Which I should point out, includes yourself. And there you have it, this isn’t about those 50 people, it’s about you. You hate yourself. Get some help. Before you go off the deepend and hurt someone.

  • minge

    Brilliant! I agree with every word. My only misgiving was when I read number 1′s “You think Epic Beard Man is a national hero,” and thought, “Hey, it may not be a big deal, but Mark Bunker does some good work against Scientology, which is pretty loathsome itself.” Then I looked it up and realized that he isn’t EPIC Beard Man, but WISE Beard Man; and that Epic Beard Man is in fact a horrible asshole from YouTube video.

    So, kudos!

    Also: re: Mel Gibson’s quote: the “All right?” really makes it, I think.

  • DoPe

    Great list (mostly) and great illustrations as always. However, I think u guys missed one:

    The entire “Real Housewives of…” franchise on BravoTV. A gaggle of vile, sniping, infantile, narcissistic, superficial, shameless demons. Or perhaps just go with Bravo TV in its entirety. Used to focus on arts programming, now exclusively reality show excrement.

  • Michaela

    I cannot agree more about the number one. Im not just saying this as a take on what my peers have become but I my self sometimes feel as if I am falling into the mindless null that has become most of America

  • Adam

    So…how is it bitter and terrifying that life has no purpose?

    Just wondering.

    [Dear Adam, it's not. You are clearly not the "you" referenced. Our bad.]

  • Nathan

    Hey, how ’bout you change this thing to perhaps consider some context. For example: do you know the context of Glenn Beck’s quote there? Have you seen the full context? Clearly you do as you posted it there.

    How ’bout you use that brain of yours to maybe think for yourself and research ANYTHING before you post stuff? Maybe you’d actually make it in life if you put a little effort or common sense into a single thing you say.

  • http://Thebeast Igorzmum

    Typical left wing rhetoric written to entertain an ignorant flock of sheeple who will let the Nancy Pelosis and Barack Obamas lead them over the cliff.

  • pete

    god your site is terrible. nice article though.

  • photonmary

    nothing like being called out for being a dumb sheep. good one.

  • Erik

    Kock Brothers suck. Kock Brothers suck. Kock Brothers suck. Kock Brothers suck. Kock Brothers suck. Kock Brothers suck.

  • milky diarrhea

    @pete. stfu n gtfo THE BUFFALO BEAST is the fucking shit. 3 fucking years upstate and other than my family, pussy, and weed it is what I missed most about home. LONG LIVE THE BEAST!

  • Rebecca

    Excellent list, but there is one thing I noticed reading that bothered me. You insulted the “America’s” winner for being too skinny but then called Bristol Palin “ham-legged”. I understand that her mother is well just a piece of shit politician and or person, but still.

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  • Dave

    Actually, Rand Paul isn’t named after Ayn Rand. Rand is short for “Randall”.

  • Chris Kelly

    You can tell this entire post was written by a douche bag who only reads the Huffington Puffington Post. Probably lives off his unemployment benefits. Still mad about 2010 Elections? JIZZRAG.

  • Callum

    I’m British and no.1′s punishment made me sad.


    Stupid fucking list written by a fuckhead who believes in ‘global warming’. You fucking retard you can’t tell me what the weather is going to be next week yet you expect me to believe you and your gang of bought and paid for warmist clowns that you can tell me what is going to happen in 50 fucking years? AND you want to tax the air we breathe globally? And raise prices across the board? FUCK YOU.

    Fuckhead leftist cocksuckers love a cause to latch onto, environmentalism is the last refuse of the stupid fucking mindless idiot.

    Cosmologists and physicists have determined the sun will die in a few million years, so who gives a fuck? I’ll be fucking dead so will your fucking kids.

    I am INCREASING my carbon BOOT PRINT on your fucking FACES you pathetic pieces of shit.

    I fucking HATE environmentalists.

    Fucking anti human assholes who need to be shot in the fucking face.


    What’s more you fucking morons, I HOPE the globe warms. I like warm weather you piece of shit.

    I like to get a tan and relax by the fucking pool. You pieces of cunting shit.

    The Earth has it coming. The Earth gave us AIDS, CANCER and HURRICANES! FUCK THE EARTH.

    You can all feel free to let off the entire nuclear weapon arsenal of the whole world the moment after I die. I don’t give a FUCK what happens to you all, you are all a bunch of fucking retards.

    I’m off to use from fossil fuels and not recycle now…….. so I’ll see you all in hell you fucking pieces of shit.

    • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

      lol u mad

  • Anteprepro

    Pollution=/=breathable air
    Assuring sustained human existence > Economic concerns
    “Refuge” not “refuse”
    A million years is roughly 40,000 human generations.
    “Footprint” is the term
    Anti-humans don’t want to prevent human extinction.
    Warming will kill off species that don’t like tans.
    Killing the Earth kills us.
    Selfishness is not a good government policy.

    In case anyone wanted a quick primer on why “Fuckyourmother” is a retarded asshole.

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  • http://www.nextsubject1.blogspot.com Josh Bryan

    I know, it’s supposed to Cynical because that’s what’s cool. But why would you out “us”(not you guys, obviously; you’re just too precious) on the list for being lied to by news organizations, corporations, the government, and the whole damn system? You blame the layman (“us”) for being led by the nose by plutocrats and corporations? You blame us for thinking that were getting the full story when some bastard makes fun of the opposing political party? You blame us because the educational system literally dumbs everyone down so that there can be more mindless workers?

    I know, you (the king of all intellectuals) want to offend and ridicule the proletariat so that he can feel bad for not being as smart as you, but consider what they have been purposely inundated with by the Gov’t.

  • Anteprepro

    The average person is an easily led moron, and the general populace is to blame for the success of our self-destructive economy and political atmosphere, yes. The plutocrats and corporations and alarmists and extremists would have no influence if it weren’t for the willingness of the average slack-jawed moron to let such noisy firebearers elevate themselves by using the hunched over spines of the masses as a stage. If they weren’t like that, they would double check their facts, vote for saner politicians, and not support the most unabashedly evil enterprises. Then all of the media spin-mongers, crazy legislators, and corporations with fuck-everyone-but-me as their business plan would be left to rot in the fringes where they belong.

    There is no conspiracy here. There is no vast web of deceit and manipulation beyond obvious propaganda that particularly clever 8 year olds could see through.
    People are morons. Accept it, or forever blame the symptomatic figureheads instead of the proud, stubborn, fiction-devoted, paranoid causes.

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  • Mary Baker

    I deserve the number one spot for reading this crap.

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