"Totally coup, yo."

Those homos in the State Senate should pass the Marriage Equality bill already

Jun

22

by

A BEAST Reader Opinion

billy-ray

by Billy Ray Bull

So here we are on the cusp of a major civil rights victory, right here in New York State. Sure, we’re not the first state to legalize gay marriage, but we’ll be the first with a large population. But instead of getting down to the important work of fighting for marriage equality for all, our State Senate is being all gay about it.

Each moderate Republicans has taken their share of the spotlight by publicly considering whether or not to support marriage equality. And then there are staunch Democrats and Republicans who have already made up their mind. This leaves the Senate as a whole institution straddling the fence. And they probably like that, being gay homos and all.

Hey, New York State Senator Mark Grisanti! If you like being indecisive so much, then why don’t you marry it? Oh, is it because indecisiveness is another dude, and it’s currently illegal for you to marry it? Then that’s your own fault, you fag!

OK guys, here’s the New York State Senate: “Oh Gregory, what ever should we do today?” “Well Robert, let’s start by stalling on the Marriage Equality bill by designating sweet corn as the state vegetable. Then we can get to the buttsecks because we are huge homos and we love the cock!”

Our elected officials should be representing their constituencies. That means all of them, not just the ones who share a common sexual and gender preference. Even serial killers and rapists are allowed to get married while they’re in prison. And they’re not even allowed to vote! It’s wrong and immoral for our elected officials to deny basic human rights to someone just because they love someone of the same sex. It’s also pretty fucking gay of them.

So let’s get moving, people! We’re on the verge of making history here, and if you’re a public figure, you should want to be on the right side of it. Take a break from feeling each other’s schlongs or whatever it is you guys do all day and pass the Marriage Equality bill already.

  • http://youtu.be/qY3toALFYmk Joe Dixon

    Hey, your editorial did it. Congrats.

  • http://nanobotswillenslaveusall.wordpress.com/ Josh Bunting

    Yeah, you’re welcome, New York’s The Gays.

  • lol

    Are you guys aware that Michele Bachmann’s husband seems to be a total flaming ‘mo? If you haven’t seen some of the videos out there http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6IUi1C6WX0

    He’s supposedly a “doctor” at some christian therapy clinic and allegedly uses ex-gay therapy. You know what that means.

    Omg this seems like the perfect opportunity for one of Ian’s pranks! You MUST try and seduce Marcus Bachmann! I’m guessing Ian won’t be able to step up to the plate for this one. He’d have balls of steel if he did though. Enlist a good looking gay guy and let the fun begin.

  • http://youtu.be/RU42-Rsng1U Joe Dixon

    @lol.

    Funny idea but you’re assuming Ian would even be his type. Just being a dude might not be enough. I wonder if ol’Marcus ever made a pass at any of his ‘patients’? Or perhaps he’s into rent boys? We have a pattern already of how these guys act out, it’s just a matter of figuring out what his particular kink is.

    And, hell, let’s not rule out Michelle. How she found this particular husband to say nothing of her alleged bathroom encounter with 2 lesbians implies that there might be some gold in that mine as well.

  • lol

    Of course I did not mean to imply Mr. Murphy was unattractive. What I meant was I don’t think he’s gay so he might have a problem getting physical with Bachmann if it ever came to that point.

    We need someone to infiltrate his clinic pretending to want his conversion therapy and eventually make a move on Bachmann and, god willing, go all the way. And have it all recorded on video.

  • http://youtu.be/RU42-Rsng1U Joe Dixon

    Forget all that. Let’s just have a group of ovulating females have a look at him: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2007337/Gaydar-Women-really-tell-sexuality-just-looking-man.html

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