"Totally coup, yo."

Top 11 Ways The BEAST is better than James O'Keefe

Mar

09

by

Because the MSM cannot figure it out

So, James O’Keefe got some NPR people to say that liberals are smarter than conservatives and that Tea Partiers are sometimes racists. Big scoop. Those are just facts, known-knowns, and the undercover sting revealed very little regarding what NPR execs know about right-wing lunatics.

Comparisons between O’Keefe and Murphy have abounded of late, but we’re here to clear up why our pranks are so much better than his and why that kid sucks:

  1. We don’t edit our documentation out of context in order to give the impression that the subject said the opposite of what was intended.
  2. When we fail, we’re at least honest about it.
  3. We’re not funded by a wealthy closet case who makes his money from the very “big media” he claims to despise.
  4. We’re funny.
  5. We go after both Democrats and Republicans.
  6. We intentionally give out “tells” to our marks which give them an opportunity to catch on that they’re being fooled in order to maximize hilarity, while O’Keefe stays deeply in character in order to maximize his chances of succeeding. We are gentlemen.
  7. We’re not motivated by racism, homophobia or other general dickishness.
  8. We’ve been denounced by the Society of Professional Journalism, an institution with zero credibility, as where they’ve never mentioned O’Keefe.
  9. We don’t break the law, and we have no working relationship with extremist astro-turf groups.
  10. When we pull off a damning stunt, which reveals illegal and unethical behavior on the part of our victim, that person faces few–if any–consequences; when O’Keefe pulls crap, which reveals nothing, his victims run away with their tails between their legs. (Our victims are terrible fools; his are well-meaning idiots.)
  11. Our pranks have Adonis DNA–they’re rock stars from Mars. We are winning. We are winning!

  • Buffalo Rude

    If only there was a media outlet with little shame and no dignity that could ratfuck O’Keefe good and proper. . .

  • Jo

    The Beast REALLY needs to punk this dork good, PLEASE. He so deserves it!

  • Ozinator

    Good stuff, Josh

  • Anteprepro

    Can’t stress that last point enough XD

  • Anteprepro

    Also: What Jo says. That would be epic, indeed.

  • Anteprepro

    No, I am not one of their gang. I have no idea why I’m responding to such a low-caliber troll though.

  • Ozinator

    Anteprepro, Would you like me to help you with that?

  • Buffalo Rude

    All this yelling. Look what you started Aptretro. Nice going.

  • Anteprepro

    Aptretro…I like that one. And I swear he was yelling before I even got here :P

  • Laura

    First of this o’keefe guy looks like McLovin! Second off I agree, you should get him! Get him good! Get him for just wearing those ugly sunglasses and that terrible hair cut.

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  • James O’Keefe

    Oooooh, I’m really scared! The BEAST might GET me! What are you going to do, dress up like a clown and come to my church on Easter?

  • Beast_Fan

    I agree you should go after that sniveling racist O’Keefe. Hey, maybe Murphy can seduce him with dildos and fuzzy handcuffs XD

  • Laura

    O’keefe should be pranked not for being a sniveling little douchebag(which he is) but for his choice in hair styles and looking like some sort of throw back to the 80′s yuppie nerd. Seriously I am naturally a passive person and am not aggressive, but just looking at O’keefe causes me to want to act violently. This urge is simply caused by his stupid hair..

  • James O’Keefe

    I’d love for Ian Murphy to run his hands through my stupid 80s hair. On his boat.

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