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Secret Communist Subliminal Messages! Supermoons! God Lives in Ohio! And More!

May

04

by

“It’s a Supermoon, dicknose!”

Tomorrow there will be a full moon, and it’s going to be the biggest one of the year. It’s one of those Supermoons. And it’ll be on May 5th, 2012 (5/5!!). Does this mean the Moon will grow so much that it will reverse the Earth’s magnetic poles, causing massive earthquakes and tsunamis which will then awaken the sleeping Mayan god Quetzalcoatl? And will Quetzalcoatl then destroy the world in accordance with the unwritten ancient prophecies? Probably!

That’s the kind of thing you get with Supermoons. At least that’s what happened last year during another supermoon, so we can probably expect it again.

The Moon’s orbit of the Earth isn’t exactly circular. At some points it is closer to us than others. These times are called a perigee. Tomorrow night’s perigee just happens to coincide with a Full Moon. But there are lots of lunar perigees when the Moon is in other stages and yet we never seem to hear about Supermoons causing earthquakes then. It’s only when more of us happen to be looking at the Moon when we hear about it supposedly causing earthquakes and volcanoes. You’ll have to ask an astrologer why that’s the case.

This is Jamie Calloway. I used to laugh at this photo and also at the fact that she’s been arrested for stalking her corrections officer. But then I watched her YouTube video which proves she is “Godhead” and now I’m a true believer. There are screen shots of a page from some book or something talking about the God of Dayton, Ohio. And she’s FROM Dayton, Ohio! Also, she taped pieces of paper labeled Numerology, Astrology, and Biology to a wall. What more proof do you need? Her shooting Elmo with a paintgun, perhaps?

Now this woman is clearly mentally ill and all, and maybe it’s too mean to make fun of her. But it’s not clear to me that there’s a fine line between Calloway and the people at Fox Nation, which I’ll be getting to later. The only difference seems to be that lots of people read those news outlets and there’s only one Jamie Calloway of Dayton, OH. If there’s a way to distinguish between delusions that are the result of mental illness and therefore shouldn’t be ridiculed and the kind everyone feels free to mock that isn’t a logical fallacy, I’d like to know about it.

An early Obama 2012 campaign poster

El Presidente Barackned al-Husseini Nobamacare is campaigning for a second term now and his campaign team made up an animated gif or something that says “FORWARD.” Fox Nation immediately jumped on the Wikipedia and discovered it was a secret socialist code word. Apparently Marx and Engels both contributed to a newspaper called Forward, and a few other leftist publications used the name as well.

Just a brief side not here: The Fox Nation will be alarmed to learn that the King James Version of the Bible uses the word “forward” 46 times.

One of the ominous publications the Fox Nation was horrified to learn Obama was kind of sort of but not really at all associated with was a Yiddish NYC daily paper. Another German one was forced to change its name after the October Revolution when the Soviets – in a power grab reminiscent of what Orwell describes of the Spanish Civil War in Homage to Catalonia – wanted to obscure its more independent origins.

Anyway, the Fox Nation is about as mad about “Forward” as Lenin was about its counterpart. Here are some of their comments for you to fap to:

There’s really only 2 reasons for voting for Obozo, either you’re bl@ck, or you’re an idiot!

Next we’ll all be doing the goose step!

And to whom, is that a surprise?? This President should be a real fan of NASCAR because the only way he turns is LEFT…

Meanwhile, the Huffington Post has apparently run out of unhinged celebrities to enable, so they’ve turned to the general public. First up is Andrew Basiago, a Seattle attorney who claims he was forced into a government time-traveling program called Project Pegasus. Project Pegasus was apparently enamored with Abraham Lincoln, since Basiago claims to have travelled in time several times to both the Gettysburg Address and Lincoln’s assassination. The zoomed photo above is supposed to be Basiago as a young boy at Gettysburg. Of course it’s so blurry that it could be anybody.

My favorite part of the article is how, after showing the slightest bit of initial skepticism, the HuffPo uncritically repeats another lawyer friend of Basiago’s plans for urban renewal via time travelling shipping companies:

“Webre, for one, said he wants teleports installed in every major city where people and products would be transported through the time-space continuum. “This would free up a lot of urban space that is currently being used by train yards or airports,” Webre said.”
Of course, there are risks. Basiago remembered feeling extreme turbulence while going through the vortal time tunnel. Webre said one tragedy occurred in the early days of the technology in which a child in Project Pegasus arrived a few seconds before his legs.

I love that first sentence of the second paragraph – “Of course, there are risks.” That’s how the HuffPo does a reality check. It’s not all flowers and sunshine when it comes to our time travelling delivery system, people! There may be a few downsides.

And if the HuffPo followed up on this legless child who’d been mutilated by time travel, they didn’t report what they found out. So either they’re part of the cover-up (DUN DUN DUNN!!) or they’re not doing their jobs – that is, if their job is journalism. Actually if their job is journalism then they wouldn’t have bothered to report on this at all, except maybe as an example of how it’s apparently possible to go through enough schooling to become a lawyer and still be gullible and/or unbalanced enough to believe nonsense like this.

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