"Totally coup, yo."

TWiC #6: Obama is a Secret Pharaoh Clone

Feb

09

by

“OBAMA! And BIDEN! The Three Musketeers!”

So it looks like birtherism is about as dead as we could hope. Sure, the WorldNetDaily and Washington Times crowd will never be convinced Barack Obama is an American human, but the public consciousness has at least shifted enough around this issue that when someone admits to being a birther it’s pretty much the end of any serious conversation. So now the would-be birthers who still want to be taken seriously have to limit their race-baiting to the kind of dog-whistle buzz words and phrases that people like Newt Gingrich are so fond of.

But wait! There is a better… um… well, there’s another way! I just heard about it. There’s this guy who goes by the name Freeman. I’m not sure if he gave himself that name because he’s a fan of those people who don’t recognize the American flag when it has gold tassels, but if he did it would be the least absurd thing about him. Anyway, he thinks Obama is a foreigner, of course. But the twist is that he’s a clone of this Egyptian Pharaoh from 3300 years ago.

I first heard about this just recently when the Australian comedian and interviewer John Safran had Freeman on his radio show. The interview was a disaster. Freeman disregarded the questions so brazenly it would have made Ron Ziegler cringe. He had his script and he was sticking to it, no matter what pesky questions he was asked. It was as if Freeman thought he was delivering a lecture instead of taking part in an interview. After about the fourth time asking, “Who’s behind the cloning?” to no avail, Safran just gave up and ended the interview. And that’s why I don’t feel at all bad about not even bothering to try to contact him before writing about him. Asking him questions is a pointless endeavor.

He started his lecture off by saying he was going to establish that it’s possible to clone people. He did this by citing claims made by Clonaid, which is a company set up by the Raelian UFO cult. You might remember they claimed to have cloned a human back in 2002, but failed to provide any evidence. They just sent out a press release, which – believe me – anyone can do.

The original symbol of Raelism, the cult behind the geniuses at Clonaid.

Freeman went on to say that Clonaid really had cloned someone and only hid the evidence to avoid prosecution. He didn’t say how he knew this. So not only do we have to assume the group of people on the verge of this colossal technological achievement is essentially a sex cult who believes in creationism, telepathy, and that old canard about how we use only 10% of our brains; but we’ve also got to assume that all the evidence that could vindicate them is being hid away so that nobody will ever see it. And that’s just the beginning.

From there Freeman explained how some archaeologists had recently uncovered DNA samples of the Egyptian Pharaoh Akhenaten. Akhenaten tried to institute monotheism in Egypt but failed, which is apparently symbolic of Obama’s presidency. Or something.

And not only that, but Obama kinda looks like this Akhenaten fellow. Over and over again, Freeman continually referred to pictures he made that did that split face thing with Obama and artists’ renditions of Akhenaten, which you can see at his website. But for our purposes, you can see one right here:

 Apparently all previous wars were fought outside of three-dimensional space.

Freeman was very enthusiastic about how if you look at his pictures, the combination portrait made from two different faces blended together so well (and without any major Photoshopping) that it looked like one person. This supposedly proves that Obama looked a lot like Akhenaten, weighs the same as a duck, and is therefore a clone.

But the thing is that unless you’re primed to believe that Obama and Akhenaten look alike, you don’t see that at all. Imagine if you saw a face exactly like the one in Freeman’s advertisement above. An understandable reaction would be to yell something like, “HEY! What the fuck’s up with your face?” at him. It’s clearly two different people combined into one. There might as well be a line down the center. The shape of the mouth, nose, and eyes are all clearly different on each side. Even the chin is asymmetrical, rising much more sharply on the Akhenaten side. Freeman would be better off saying Obama was cloned from the stem cells of that guy in the Whoomp (There It Is)” video.

So you’ve gotta give Freeman credit for one thing: He’s probably telling the truth when he said there’s no deceptive Photoshop work on this picture. And that strongly implies that he actually believes the crazy shit he’s spewing, despite all the obvious hucksterisms on his website. The only thing you can really say he might be consciously guilty of is the passive “I’m not racist, but they all look alike to me” brand of racism as opposed to the more overt “Go back to Africa” one.

“Two conspiracy theories at the same time, man.”

Anyway, this guy’s obviously nuts, and he proves it by going off about “chemtrails” and Illuminati symbolism in Hollywood and most of the more typical conspiracy stuff. And only a small fringe group of people are going to be with him on this Obama-is-a-clone business. But still, letting this kind of stuff pass without criticism only encourages others who might not be as honestly deluded as Freeman appears. Calling bullshit on guys like Freeman might seem callous and rude, but it also raises the potential cost of running an unethical business like Prison Planet, Natural News, or Generation Rescue just a little bit more. If that’s an incentive for would-be con artists to get into a more honest line of work, then we’ll all be better off for it.

Follow me on Twitter

  • Chris Bonin

    Apparently it isn’t just Obama who is the clone, but the ENTIRE FIRST FAMILY!!! (Cue diabolical music)

  • Archives