"Totally coup, yo."

We All Give Money To Assholes

Jul

30

by

Boycotting Chick-Fil-A can only get us so far

These people really fucking suck. I don’t have a joke here. They just really suck

By now, you’ve probably heard of the ongoing kerfuffle over Chick-Fil-A’s public opposition to gay marriage. It had always been well-known that the company gave donations to homophobic organizations, but this time, they took it to another level, with company president Dan Cathy publicly stating his views on the matter, and quickly creating an epic shitstorm of bad PR.

It’s easy to understand why people are pissed off. Our country is slowly but surely realizing that gay people are, in fact, humans, and should be treated as such. The days when people who opposed gay marriage were people who liberals could “respectfully disagree with” are long gone, and these people are now being viewed for who they really are: hateful bigots. The simple fact of the matter is, if you oppose gay marriage (or any type of gay rights), then you support discrimination, and that is tantamount to hatred regardless to how you view gays from an emotional standpoint.

So, yeah. Fuck Chick-Fil-A. Fuck them right in the ear.

But while I have no problem with the clarion calls to boycott the fast food chain, I do have to wonder if it’ll really do any good. The fact is, Chick-fil-A are just one of many corporations that donate money to homophobic politicians and organizations. And at least they have the guts to be honest about it, unlike some other corporations we’ve talked about.

Even when corporations don’t have fundamentalist Christian CEOs, they still support Republicans because Republicans will enact policies that will allow them to make more money. That’s why nearly every rich white douche in the country is throwing as much money at Romney as possible. It’s all about getting the people in who allow CEOs to be as greedy as possible without repercussion. And if gay people end up losing their rights in the process, well, that’s just the price of business.

The moment you become a consumer, you start giving money to evil. It’s pretty much unavoidable. You shop at department stores that treat workers like shit, you eat at fast food restaurants that brutally slaughter animals, and no matter where you shop, you can pretty guarantee you’re supporting a CEO who would murder a live puppy if it meant he could make an extra five bucks.

That’s what’s so hard about being a liberal. You realize how fruitless everything is, and you wonder if you want to keep going. There’s three paths you can choose. One is to just give up, stop voting because “they’re all assholes,” and let your idealistic 14-year-old self die a slow death. This is, of course, depressing. Another option is to become even more hardcore, and go out of your way to avoid doing anything that supports the bad guys even a little bit. Naturally, this is just about impossible. Not being able to deal with either option, most liberals fall squarely in the middle. They avoid supporting the really super duper evil corporations, but still support plenty that are awful in their own way. They get excited about boycotting Chick-fil-A simply because it’s one way they can claim to be making a difference. Oh, and they definitely posted the Rainbow Oreo on their Facebook, probably with a header of “nobody better say anything bad about this.” Not because they feared homophobic replies, but because they didn’t want anyone to point out what a shallow gesture it was.

So yeah, quit going to Chick-fil-A. Don’t give those gay-hating shitheads any of your hard-earned cash. Just don’t be surprised when your efforts don’t have any real effects. Super rich corporations are going to keep supporting anti-gay politicians. If Chick-fil-A were to somehow go out of business because angry liberals stopped giving them money, it would be a minor victory. Unfortunately, it would do very little to change a horribly corrupt system.

Don’t be a homophobic chicken murderer, follow me on twitter!

  • jonchance

    Chick-fil-A may be promoting unpopular ideas, but last time I checked, they had as much right to have an opinion as the rest of us. Just cause we don’t agree doesn’t mean they need to be trashed over it. Besides, their chicken is YUMMY!!!

  • Excal

    Really? That’s your takeaway from this article? That Chick-fil-A are “promoting unpopular ideas” and have “as much right to an opinion as the rest of us”?

    Well thanks for that input, jonchance. I’d point out that part of people having rights to opinions is the right of people to trash you for your stupid opinions, but I probably couldn’t be heard over the sound of you cramming fried food into your gaping, slack-jawed maw.

  • Randy

    Due to their statements, Chick-Fil-A has seen a precipitous drop in their brand ratings (there’s a chart out there somewhere illustrating this). This necessarily will affect their ability to expand into new markets and convert people-who-eat-elsewhere into people-who-eat-Chick-Fil-A. The owners of this private company are probably more likely to choose to endure the headwinds they’ve steered into, rather than maximize profits. However, other companies are probably looking at this and learning not to make this mistake. Even the Berenstain Bears (their Muppet replacement) don’t want to be associated with Chick-Fil-A. Can you imagine?

    Solving the world’s problems is too big a task, and no one problem should be viewed as irrelevant in comparison. I mean, hell, we have no plan whatsoever for asteroid impacts or supervolcanic eruptions, but both are surely coming. We can solve the Chick-Fil-A problem just by NOT going there. That takes zero time away from everything else we might want to try to accomplish. There’s no down side. A minor victory is better than a minor loss.

    (jonchance, as for any free speech rights Chick-Fil-A has, those same rights apply to everyone criticizing them as well. And we’re certainly under no obligation to spend money there. I think many people are not bought so cheaply.)

  • Paul

    Yes, remember corporations are people too.
    It’s just that we can’t jail them or anything like that!

  • http://twitter.com/pws4 pws

    Why did it take so long? Chick-Fil-A used to give mini-version of the Book of Virtues (Bill Bennett) out with their “Happy Meals.” To little children!

  • test

    I’ve been boycotting them since the 1st time I ate their chicken and it tasted like deep fried grease. No morals required for this one.

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