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Archive for January, 2012

The BEASTies: The Artist

January 30th, 2012 by

Well it’s definitely refreshing to have gotten Hugo out of the way. I really hate how self-indulgent filmmakers can get when it comes to making movies about movies. It’s as if they’re trying to show us ignorant plebs how special they are in how they perceive their own work and how we’re all doing it wrong.

But that’s all behind us now. Next is a movie called The Artist, and it’s probably about a non-filmmaker artist. I’m sure the Academy is not so far up their own asses to nominate two movies about movies. If they did that, they might as well all just line up in front of a mirror and start fapping to themselves. Right? (more…)


The BEASTies: Hugo

January 26th, 2012 by

So it’s that time of year when, in some kind of weird masochistic fit I’m not ready to explore with a professional psychologist just yet, we look over the movies all the experts agree are the best ones made over the past year. This year’s crop of picks looks especially bad and I’m dreading the decision to revisit this strange and inexplicable compulsion of mine already. So here we go. (more…)


Worst Basketball Team Ever?

January 18th, 2012 by

Washington Wizards cast powerful sucking spell

This past June, Washington Wizards fans had a fair amount to be excited about. They had a young potential superstar in John Wall, they were finally getting rid of the godawful uniforms that had plagued them for 15 years and were going back to the much cooler old school Bullets colors, and they had drafted Jan Vesely, a so-called “dunking ninja” from the Czech Republic who had tons of athleticism, and wasn’t exactly shy about PDA. Maybe they weren’t a playoff team, but they appeared to be well on the right track. (more…)


Koch Whores Attack!

January 18th, 2012 by

Wisconsinites turn in 1.1 million signatures to recall Walker, Andrew Breitbart goes after The BEAST

My life is funny. By day — or whenever I wake up — I’m a mild mannered blogger. But by night — or whenever I get around to it — I’m engaged in an epic battle against evil billionaires, corrupt politicians and their craven media lapdogs, for the very soul of America. It sounds crazy. But that’s my life. It’s actually a lot of peoples’ lives these days. The sleeping giant is now awake and in the streets.  (more…)


When Birchers Attack!

January 17th, 2012 by

What took them so long?

I really should be working on our annual 50 Most Loathsome Americans list (it’s pretty late, I’m aware), or preparing for court later (I was arrested for filming a cop) or at least shaving…or ironing my sport coat…or showering, but the National Review posted a hit piece on me yesterday, so I’m going take a few minutes this morning to respond. These are minutes I could use appreciating the fleeting natural wonder that is life. Instead, I’m going to waste them entirely, rooting through the shit-end of Wisconsin politics. (more…)


Recalling Walker

January 16th, 2012 by

Nearly a million Wisconsinites sign recall petition, I shake some of their hands

[UPDATE 1/17/12: 1.1 million recall signatures turned in.]

So Santa Claus Steve flew me out to Wisconsin. He thought I should do a little tour and pump up petitioners during the last leg of the recall effort. And who am I to argue with Santa Claus Steve? People like me here. OK, most people like me here. In Milwaukee there were two women collecting recall signatures right in the airport. Santa Claus Steve introduced me as David Koch. I tried to make him stop doing that, but he wouldn’t.

The Capitol rotunda during the daily noon singalong

The recall petitions get turned in to Madison and officially tallied on January 17th (unfortunately, I have to be in Buffalo to fight for the Freedom of the Press – the WordPress, but still). I’m not privy to any official recall numbers, but between you and me, Wisconsin absolutely crushed this thing. 540,000 signatures are needed to trigger a recall election; I’d be surprised if the final number weren’t more in the 1 million neighborhood — each for Walker and Lieutenant Governor Rebecca Kleefisch.  (more…)


In Which We Jump On the Tebow-Bashing Bandwagon

January 15th, 2012 by

There are lots of numbers associated with football games. But what do they mean?

A lot was made of Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow throwing for 316 yard in last week’s footsball game against the terminally unemployed steel-workers of Pittsburgh. You see, Tebow stood out from other quarterbacks for painting Bible verses on his face, a favorite of his being John 3:16. People imagined there was some connection between the number of yards Tebow threw for and the placement of one of the more important verses in Christianity within one of the later Gospels. (more…)

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