"Totally coup, yo."

How much of a “Real Thing” was Sandy?

Nov

01

by
Harlem Hurricane Hunt results in disappointing lack of unimaginable carnage

Looks pretty damn “real” to me, the dead, and all the people still without power and water.
But what the hell do I know? I’m just the guy who captions the photos.


In Which I Decide to Fight a Hurricane

In the days leading up to her arrival, Hurricane Sandy had been hyped by meteorologists in windbreakers, 24-hour newscasters, and your friends on Facebook as some sort of “Megastorm.” It was like that movie, The Perfect Storm, except that instead of being a movie you caught on cable/a flight, it was a real thing in real life that you could participate in. By texting or tweeting jokes. Or by asking your buddies, Google and Siri, about it. Or by getting bored and accidentally passing through CNN2 Territory. But what ended up going down, when Sandy finally hit the East Coast, was an unprecedented clusterfuck of publicly-conducted reports, experiences, and perceptions, and a bunch of wind and rain and snow and floods. Having thrown myself needlessly into the mess through a convoluted concatenation of events, I am still reeling in confusion. What really happened?

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13 Days To Go

Oct

24

by

This shit is almost over with.


Obama and Romney hug it out, bitch.

Holy fuck shit am I sick of this election.

All of it, just all of it. The pointless debates, the endless pontificating by overpaid TV blowhards, the fact that Romney and Ryan can lie their fucking asses off, and no one in the media will call them on it, and if they do, they’ll write it off as no big deal, because apparently asking our politicians for accountability is like, sooooooo 1974….

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Breaking: men want to fuck teenage girls

Oct

21

by

Reddit, perverts, free speech, privacy, toughtcrime, misogytrolling™, and my own personal ignorance all wrapped up in an article that’s way too long for anyone to read…which is probably for the best

 

Let’s start with one of my favorite tunes. “Smut” by Tom Lehrer:

Okay then. Time to make myself a moral pariah. Again.

Interesting exposé by Gawker’s Adrian Chen is interesting. Since you’re on Internet, I presume you’ve read it. But, anyway, it’s about one Michael Brutsch. He lives in Texas. Has Had some shitty job. Just a normal guy who likes to anonymously propagate jack-off pics — up-skirts, ripped Facebook bikini shots, etc. — of unwitting underage girls on the Reddit. He’s also into “Niggerjailbait” and “rapebait” stuff. He’s the Internet’s most prolific peddler of taboo. Well, he used to be, before Chen outed him.

Now we’re left with a truly interesting debate on exploitation, smut, free speech, sexuality, anonymity…heavy ethical shit.

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1st rule of debate club: don’t bring notes to debate club

Oct

05

by

You’re not allowed to bring notes to a debate, but Mitt Romney does what Mitt Romney wants:

And that’s why he’d be an excellent president.

UPDATE: People are saying that it’s a handkerchief, but it looks pretty damn stiff to me, and there’s no definitive proof one way or the other.

<!–more–>

UPDATE-UPDATE: The mystery object in question was, in fact, neither a handkerchief, nor a cheat-sheet; it was Obama’s Kenyan ghost father! We sincerely regret the error.

I’m on the Twitter

 



Adorable cat gifs! (And something about Global Warming)

Oct

03

by

“There is no race more human/ No one throws it away like they do.”
–Titus Andronicus, Battle of Hampton Roads

“Awwww! Look at that cat try to run up that slide. Silly cat.”
–You, Right Now

Global warming used to be an issue that galvanized the public. In the mid-aughts, you couldn’t watch television or open up a newspaper without hearing something about greenhouse gases, or lowering our carbon footprint. Thanks, in part, to documentaries such as Al Gore’s An Inconvenient Truth, global warming—an issue that had remained in the cultural and political periphery for decades—had finally hit the mainstream.

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WaPo Hack Terrorizes Washington!

Sep

29

by

Cillizza, seen here, destroying decency

The Washington Post’s Chris Cillizza has a problem. He’s the type who unironically referred to Bush’s plan to let Wall Street pillage Social Security as “reform.” He now says that Paul Ryan’s mission to replace Medicare with coupons-of-lesser-value is a “plan to reinvigorate” the program. On MSNBC, he said the probably-won’t-be Veep’s now-infamous slew of RNC lies were merely facts “out of context.” All the tragic, familiar signs are there. Hell, even his blog is called The Fix. Like so many poor souls of his lost journalistic generation, Chris Cillizza is addicted to bullshit. 

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I’m not dead & I drew a picture of my cat

Sep

27

by

So I’ve been missing in action. Yeah. Gone. Mentally. Out to brunch. Living under a frock. Head buried in the flan. And other things. Sorry about that. But there was good reason. Well, there were reasons.

I’ve been depressed, dejected, and generally horrified. What can I say? I’m weak. And ashamed about it, too. Paralyzed by nihilism. Probably a little lazy. And the drugs don’t help. They may not hurt, but they do not help. I don’t know, exactly, but I’ve been in an existential funk, haunted by imminent futility—mine, yours, political, journalistic, comedic, artistic, humanistic. Is that a word? I don’t care. That’s a good sign. I think.

But…cat!

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